Confuse need help/advice!!!!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

You and your sister can be close, but ultimately, your relationship with your husband should be #1.  If the both of you decide that you want to spend Christmas morning with his parents, then you should do just that.  Create your own traditions.  Do your own things.  You are not obligated to keep doing what you’ve always done just because your sister wants you to. 

What would I do?  Go to my husband’s parents house like we planned. 

Post # 4
Member
2882 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@LMD:  +10,000

You now have a husband, who also has a family.  The way you will do things is going to change now.  Your sister will need to see that.

Post # 5
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It sounds as if your sister is going through a bad patch and I’m assuming her children are now on the At Risk Register which isn’t a picnic either.

However, I don’t see why you should change your Christmas plans just because you have always spent Christmas with her previously. You are married now and it’s only fair to spend time with your DH’s mother too. From your post it sounds as if you’ll see your sister on Christmas Day anyway so you are hardly abandoning her.

I suspect the shock of having her children taken into care is not helping her think clearly right now and it may not be possible to have a sensible discussion right now. But provided you offer her your support I don’t see why everyone else’s Christmas plans need to be upset.

Post # 6
Member
4640 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m not sure what her beating her kid with a belt has to do with this but.. I’d go to my husbands parents’ house.

He should come before your sister, as he’s your family now.

Post # 7
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@davinanageleyes:  Getting married = making your own traditions and deciding things for yourselves. Move ahead with what you and your husband decided and don’t let her guilt you. She clearly has some issues to sort out… I don’t think it’s ok to beat your kids with a belt even if it doesn’t leave a mark.

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