Post # 1
I just need your advice please because I don’t know what to do.
Firstly let me give you some background details I am 23 been with my partner 4 years married nearly 1 year, my sister 27 not married, not really has a stable relationship with men she kind of attract the wrong sort of guys. However we are very close we have are up and down but nothing can break our bond.
But she had her three kids taken away from her for a week by social service (kids stayed with the dad), because one of her son got excluded from school and she beat him with a belt but left no marks. So she got her kids back now, but I know it was a very stressful and emotional tie but with God grace and power we prayed are way through.
But the problem we wanted to go my husband mum house on Christmas Eve and sleep over , because we have never spent Christmas with them, plus my husband hardly see his family. Then on Christmas day his sister we drop us back to my sister (Kim)house on Christmas Day in the afternoon.
But my sister (Kim) getting upset with me saying that how can I do that this is something we always do together as a family, saying that it is funny if I go and things and that I can go to my husband mum house in the afternoon on Christmas Day, she doesn’t want to discuses it she acting a bit funny with me when I mention it.
I don’t know if it the fact that she very close to me, or because of the kids situation I just don’t know……..
What would you advice in this situation?
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
You and your sister can be close, but ultimately, your relationship with your husband should be #1. If the both of you decide that you want to spend Christmas morning with his parents, then you should do just that. Create your own traditions. Do your own things. You are not obligated to keep doing what you’ve always done just because your sister wants you to.
What would I do? Go to my husband’s parents house like we planned.
Post # 4
You now have a husband, who also has a family. The way you will do things is going to change now. Your sister will need to see that.
Post # 5
It sounds as if your sister is going through a bad patch and I’m assuming her children are now on the At Risk Register which isn’t a picnic either.
However, I don’t see why you should change your Christmas plans just because you have always spent Christmas with her previously. You are married now and it’s only fair to spend time with your DH’s mother too. From your post it sounds as if you’ll see your sister on Christmas Day anyway so you are hardly abandoning her.
I suspect the shock of having her children taken into care is not helping her think clearly right now and it may not be possible to have a sensible discussion right now. But provided you offer her your support I don’t see why everyone else’s Christmas plans need to be upset.
Post # 6
I’m not sure what her beating her kid with a belt has to do with this but.. I’d go to my husbands parents’ house.
He should come before your sister, as he’s your family now.
Post # 7
@davinanageleyes: Getting married = making your own traditions and deciding things for yourselves. Move ahead with what you and your husband decided and don’t let her guilt you. She clearly has some issues to sort out… I don’t think it’s ok to beat your kids with a belt even if it doesn’t leave a mark.