Post # 1
We are thinking about having programs at our ceremony. Although we haven’t finished asking the members of our bridal party, we are seriously considering asking both of my brothers and their significant others (brothers as groomsmen, women as bridesmaid’s).
Now I know a lot of times on the progams, right next to the attendant’s names there will be a small description or relation to the couple. I always like knowing who’s who and I figured I’d be including this on our programs.
Anyway, what I’m leading up to is that although one of my brothers is married (therefore his wife would be listed as “brides sister in law” (right?)), the other brother has been dating his girlfriend for like 5 years, however they aren’t engaged, etc. We all basically consider her part of the family, but technically she is just a friend of mine.
For obvious reasons “girlfriend of the bride’s brother” seems silly, but the relationship I have with her is founded through a family member. She and I aren’t terribly close, but are at the same time (I realize that doesn’t make much sense).
I definitely want to include her, but don’t know what to reference her as.
I am also trying to be sensitive to the fact that the brother of mine that she is dating is the eldest of my siblings and now the only unmarried one, so they get teased a lot by insensitive family members about how “they are next!” etc. and I am sure she is probably sensitive to the fact they aren’t married/engaged yet.
I know she will most likely be in my life forever, as I am sure they will stay together and eventually marry but they aren’t there yet.
What should I list her as if I do programs?
Post # 3
I would list her as “friend of the bride,” which is still the truth…or, just skip listing any relations.
Post # 4
@peaches13: Yeah, I agree with Peaches. There’s no need to make it any more complicated.
Post # 5
- Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo
Friend of the bride? Partner of (brother)? Wait and don’t print programs until 2 weeks before the wedding in case they get engaged? (only half kidding there)
Post # 6
@peaches13: I agree, these are the only non-awkward options.
Post # 7
Yep, I’d just go with Friend of the Bride.
Not sure when your date is, but I would honestly caution you to wait until about 6 months out from the wedding to ask these gals. I think it is fantastic that you are including them, and their relationships with the brothers sound wonderful, but you just never know. Things can turn awkward in a hurry if there is a breakup. If you wait until the wedding is within 6 months to ask them, you significantly reduce the risk.
Post # 8
@NAvery: Good point! I just now noticed the 2017 date…many of the issues on the BM board come from girls who wished they hadn’t made decisions about their bridal party so early. Beware of that, OP!
Post # 9
Just came back to check the thread and I am so grateful for your responses. Thanks everyone. Sounds like I will just go with friend of the bride. I need to correct my wedding date (I put that in an effort to be more anonymous in case anyone I know reads the boards, however anyone I know in person would know by now based on my other posts).
So I am about 8 months out, maybe I will wait until March to ask.