(Closed) Confused about ex! Opinions, please?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
674 posts
Busy bee

Have you considered that you’re actually more upset with yourself for putting up with it? Yes, he is the one responsible for it, but you also tolerated it for a year and a half. I know I’d be a little disappointed that I didn’t get out of it sooner if I realized how toxic the relationship was for me.

If that’s the case, you have nothing to feel guilty about in terms of your current guy.

Post # 5
1775 posts
Buzzing bee

I think that’s normal. I think with me it’s kind of a “What? I wasn’t good enough, asshole?! What’s wrong with me?” kind of reaction. When you’re deeply emotionally involved with someone, I think it’s normal to feel something when you see that someone who treated you poorly while you gave a lot for them is treating someone else great (especially because he left you for her) I don’t mean because you still care, either. You’ll get over it. I think you know that already.

Post # 6
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

your feelings are normal, even though they are disturbing!

you had a tumultuous, toxic relationship… but that doesn’t mean that a part of you wanted it to work out. we all want the best, and even in dysfuntional relationships we can still see the best in someone and love them for it. to the point of hurting.

you are upset that you see him being sweet to someone else, when you didn’t feel like you got that from him. try to move past the jealousy to being glad that he is maybe a better boyfriend now.

maybe you feel inadequate, like ‘why wasn’t i good enough?’ move past that feeling to forgive yourself for staying in a bad situation, forgive him for not living up to your hopes/expectations, and focus on the fact that both of you (but focus more on YOU) are happy in your new partnerships.

and resist more Facebook stalking!


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