Post # 1
Here’s the short story. My soon to be mother in law and my FI are not close. She asked me months back if I was having a shower, I told her that my MOH is planning a Friends shower and thats all that has been planned. Well that shower is coming up next month, and I don’t know if I should invite her or not. She has been nothing but difficult during our whole wedding planning, she has not asked if we needed her help with anything and getting her list of guests that she thinks we shoud invite was like pulling her teeth out. (we got the list but she won’t give us addresses since “it isn’t her job” as she says) My list of guest for this shower are my bridal party, my mother and my friends. The family members that will be there are my mom, my sisters (due to them being part of the wedding party) and my FI sister will get an invite also (because she is also wedding party).
As of this time his family is not having a shower, which so be it. I don’t feel that I need to invite her because I did tell her it was a friends shower…. do I need to invite her??
Post # 3
Invite her. You don’t want to start life with your new family with this lording over your head.
Same situation as you with my MIL. She did not throw a shower on their side of the family for my DH and I. What a wonderful thing to do to welcome a new member of the family by honoring them at an event and introducing them to all the family yet to meet. Oh well… That has passed and I took the high road and am the better for it. I vow to never treat any future DILs like the way I was treated. Enjoy your shower and smile because you have a mom and sisters who support you and that is what counts!
Post # 4
@baletrina: Thank You. I dont want it to be a bad beginning, but its been a rocky road ever since I’ve meet her. She just don’t treat her only son as a son, if that makes any sense. He is treated nothing like his sister and he says it has been that way all his life. Part of me feels that if I invite her then she is getting to come to an event for my wedding without her even trying to show any effect with it at all. They will not even be a son/ mother dance at the reception, she just blow it off when he asked her. Its a sad situation, and i’m marrying into it ugh!!
Post # 5
As my Dad used to say ” Whoever promised you that life would be fair?”
She may never reciprocate your generosity but you will have the satisfaction of knowing you did the right thing and didn’t give her another opportunity for criticism.
Post # 6
Well, if she’s difficult now, not inviting her when she already knows about it might set off an explosion that can be seen from space…unfortunatley weddings carry a lot of family politics inside of these events. And you never know, maybe you will see another side of her at this event…I married into a difficult family, and trust me, it took a few years to get all of the silliness sorted out, but I can tell you, the thing that saved me every time, was kindess, courtesy, and attention to the rules of etiquette, when you set that example for people who behave otherwise, they usually follow suit, because they probably didn’t know that was an option until you showed them.
Post # 7
I’ve decided to invite her. Do I invite his step-mom?