Weddingbee boards

Help!  Thanks :) I've read a few different guidelines for tipping the catering staff - some say that you should give them 15% of the food bill, others say you should give them each $20. My problem is that our caterer is a small company, the chef/manager is the owner, and she is bringing three servers, two bartenders, and a kitchen assistant.  The total contract price is $7500 ($60 a person) and that includes food, service and rentals.  We are supplying our own alcohol.  So, I have no idea how much the food part of the contract is, and even if I were to guess, say, $3500, 15% of that is $525.  Splitting that between three servers and the kitchen assistant seems excessive and WAY different than giving them each a $20.  Plus, for the bartenders, since we are buying the alcohol, I don't know what "bar sales" would be.  

Any advice?  I did double check that gratuities aren't included. I plan to buy the owner a nice gift after, instead of at tip (since she owns the company).  t

Thanks, guys.  I thought $20 was low (I live in NYC but the wedding is actually in WV...but still), but I can't figure out what's right.  I guess I should just ask the caterer.  I wish there was a rule of thumb, though!  

And seinahpets, I think if the gratuity is factored in, you don't have to tip extra unless you want to (for great service or something).

I found this on the knot, which may be where I read about the $20 rule the first time (sorry, I am still stumped about this, obviously!).  I still think $20 seems low though...

Tipping isn't mandatory -- a tip is an added reward for service well done. That said, unless one of your vendors really botches something, they’ll probably expect at least a small amount of gratuity. Before you start forking over the dough, be sure you check with your reception site to see whether they have any policies regarding tips (same goes for your limo or other transportation). If, for example, they already have a gratuity or service charge built into your fee, you shouldn't feel compelled to add anything onto that. Otherwise, you should probably plan on tipping your hair and makeup pros (15-20%, just like at the salon); delivery people (about $5-$10 each); parking, coat check, or restroom attendants ($1 per car or per guest), waitstaff ($20 per staff member, plus more for the manager and/or headwaiter); and bartenders ($20 for each). As for your officiant, you should expect to tip a nondenominational officiant between $50-$100. Or, if you're an active member, plan to donate $500 or more to your officiant's church, synagogue, or temple. The good news: Your bridal salon, cake baker, stationer, and party rental company will not be expecting tips. To make it easier, designate someone (a bridesmaid, groomsman, or family member) to be in charge of tipping. Set aside a predetermined amount for each vendor, and place tips in sealed, labeled envelopes (you can even include a little note as well). That way, you won't have to worry about counting out cash when you should be dashing off to your honeymoon destination.

I would ask the caterer and your wedding planner what's appropriate.     I didn't think a tip that big was needed - we are doing closer to $20 a person ( not sure if that's ok though now after reading this ).

^    I think servers with catering companies make more than $2 an hour though - I'm almost positive they make $12-$15 ( Bay Area ) ,    but I'm going to see if I'm supposed to tip.

Yeah, catering servers definitely earn more than restaurant servers (or at least mind do).  I was a server for a long time, I know how bad the pay is - I would definitely never tip only $20 each if they were making $2.13 an hour (which is what I made).