(Closed) Confused about tipping

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

Hmmm… I think my take is slightly different on this, in a restaurant the servers would receive between 15-20% of the total bill (of the 60 per person) so that’s about 12 dollars-ish.  I would tip them anywhere from 50-100 per person depending on their service.  If they suck, I wouldn’t tip them at all.

eta per server not per guest, sorry for the confusion.

Post # 4
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

our location tacks on 20% (i’ve seen 21% in some cases) on food and drink for gratuity. $20 each sounds a tad low for ny standards.

Post # 5
Member
200 posts
Helper bee

$20 each definitely seems too low. I would talk to the caterer about this. Tell her that you want to tip appropriately and can she give you some guidelines. You could even tell her that you want to tip each server 18% and ask her if she could calculate that for you and add it on to the bill.

Post # 6
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House

Oh, I’m so confused, too!  If another bee doesn’t do it, I think I’m gonna hafta get some research done and write a post about this!

Post # 7
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

if the caterer has factored in gratuity into our proposal, does that mean i don’t have to tip?  i’m a little confused…

Post # 8
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I would start by asking your caterer for an itemized bill. Then you know how much of the bill is for food, rentals, etc. You will only need to tip on food. On our contract, an 18% service charge was included for waitstaff. In our final bill, our caterer noted that if we would like to include an additional gratuity, to include that in our final payment. We included extra in our payment equaling approximately 22% total for service.

I hope this was appropriate!

Post # 12
Member
200 posts
Helper bee

What is the Knot talking about?

In many states, servers earn $2 an hour–they work almost exclusively for tips! $20 for the night would be a TERRIBLE night’s earnings.

Be direct with the caterer and ask them what they expect from you. They will probably appreciate it. (And certainly more than being tipped $20 for a whole night’s work!)

Post # 13
Member
44 posts
Newbee

I would ask the caterer and your wedding planner what’s appropriate.     I didn’t think a tip that big was needed – we are doing closer to $20 a person ( not sure if that’s ok though now after reading this ).

Post # 14
Member
44 posts
Newbee

^    I think servers with catering companies make more than $2 an hour though – I’m almost positive they make $12-$15 ( Bay Area ) ,    but I’m going to see if I’m supposed to tip.

Post # 15
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

Not trying to say this is the only way things work, but I have worked as a server for a catering company where I served at both weddings and corp events.  I made very good money for the night and never really saw any tips on top of that.  I read an article not to long ago (can’t remember where now! ugh!) talking about how out of control tipping is at American weddings.  I would interested to see some type of comparative look at tipping across multiple countries.  And just to throw my 2 cents in – my caterer included an 18% gratuity in the contract; so I’m considering my tipping done.

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