Post # 1
I am really confused why on Wedding Bee that stating a personal opinion to a poster on why some things posted are rude to guests, tacky, lying (related to PPD’s), is flagged by people. If you are posting to see if “this is okay”, and you learn what your wanting to do is NOT okay, and people tell you it is not okay, why flag the post? I do not get this place. Does everyone just want to hear fluff and have their guests talk behind their backs on how incredibly rude some items are? I am seriously confused here………..
Post # 3
Theres very sensitive people out their watch out….
Post # 4
@hemoncdr: what u consider rude others won’t I believe if u say things in a kind hearted and helpful manner it will b accepted that way but if u scuff at someone than it cn b seen as snarky which is against the rules.
Post # 5
@hemoncdr: How do you know it is the OP who flagged the comments?
There is always a nice way of saying that you don’t think something is the best way to handle/do something.
Tacky is a very judgemental word, and not particularly helpful.
Post # 6
It’s all in how you phrase it.
For example, take the cash bar. There’s a difference in saying:
A) “Cash bars are so tacky and trashy. I can’t believe you would even consider it. It’s just cheap and nobody does that.”
B) “I personally do not care for cash bars because I feel it’s important to provide all beverages and food for our guests. Some of your guests may feel that way too.”
You’re still getting an opposing opinion, but one is constructive and explanatory, and one is just plain rude.
Post # 7
I agree with what’s been said above. There are ways, tactful ways of saying to someone that there are other options available ; that doing so, they might offend some of their family, etc.
Saying ”this is rude, this is tacky” in my point of view, is very judgemental and I consider it an attack toward the Bee, because chances are he or she really isn’t that type of person in real life. It is very hurtful to read people you don’t know, treating you with such harsh words.
Post # 8
I once saw all hell break loose because someone said they thought something looked “dated”
Sorry…..but trends happen and something can look dated. Huge poof sleeves are a time-stamp of the 80’s/90’s therefore – dated.
If someone wanted to call my dress dated I would be fine with it. It’s a statement and if someone is offended by that it’s on THEM and them having sensitivity issues. There’s nothing wrong with a poster thinking something is dated.
Post # 9
Like our mothers always told us, it isn’t what you say but how you say it.
Post # 10
@hemoncdr: I don’t think it’s the opinion that is flagged, but rather the delivery of the opinion. Some people don’t really have a social filter and haven’t quite learned there is a tactful way to say things when you disagree or have a difference of opinions.
Post # 11
@hemoncdr: On this site, a lot of people want to hear the fluff. “Tell me your opinion” often becomes tell me that I am right.IMO, you shouldn’t be flagged for the OP not liking your personal opinion
I’ve seen you around on a few etiquette threads and a lot of people here don’t like to follow etiquette, which I think is sad. I like to be constructive when I give advice/ critique.
Post # 12
@hemoncdr: also remember that this is the Internet and things cn come off COMPLETELY the opposite way than it was intended
Post # 13
A lot of people do want to hear the fluff, but a lot of people do like constructive criticism, too. You have to be careful how you say things because some people take things more seriously than others. It’s hard to just tone or sincerity over the internet, and people always infer the worst.
Post # 14
@hemoncdr: Because what you called tacky is not tacky to others. Sometimes it is a cultural or regionial thing. For example dollar dances, where I am from that is just a norm for doing at weddings. For others that just isnt done.
It is as PP on how you word your response.
Post # 15
You might want to read the Weddingbee Terms of Service. I just went and looked at your past comments, and it looks like they were removed for not following the TOS. Taking the PPs advice about how to word things would probably keep you in the safe zone.
Post # 16
And honestly, some people just look for posts that will get heated or go to threads so they can argue. I don’t want all fluff, but I want people to be decent humans…