(Closed) Confused, Am I waiting or not?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
340 posts
Helper bee

It doesn’t sound crazy at all to think about these things after so many months of dating. It is your life too and you want to be able to plan it out. I think the very fact that we said that we wants to know how ring sizing works shows that he is thinking in that direction. If I were you I would have the talk about where he sees the two of you in the future and that you think of him in the future and excited for a life together. I think he will respond positively.

 

Post # 4
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

the fact that he got your ring size is VERY positive. i know the feeling of not wanting to put pressure on him. i feel like your attitude during the conversation is pretty key. being calm is about the best advice i can give!!

Post # 5
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think it’s fair to establish if it’s heading in that direction.  I mean, maybe after that length of time a guy won’t say he will do it, but he’ll at least say if he’s open to it.  I think ultimately people know if they’re looking for something longterm or not.  Now, whether that turns out to be the case or not, is another thing.  I told my guy pretty early on that I was happy to be in a relationship that wasn’t leading towards marriage – just not for very long.  If it’s playtime okay, but at some point I’ll cut my losses and find the one.

On the other hand, I think a lot of what happens is the preoccupation with being in the “waiting” category becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy for failure.  I already know I was a beast sometimes during the waiting stage and I wish I could take a lot of the nagging (and I admit to myself now that’s what it was) back.  Just remember to balance your desires to move forward in the relationship with loving the relationship for what it is.

Post # 7
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Just sit down with him and have a conversation, it’s the only way you’ll really know what he’s thinking.  

Post # 8
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@KLC216:  I will like to hear how the chat goes, I feel exactly like this- we rent together, its been about a year (together for 4) and i’m saving to buy a house, he is onboard with that too but I really feel lke when we put those funds together and invest in this home, we should be engaged.. he has murmured (he def wants to get married at some point) that hed feel like the next step would only be appropriate once we are already settled, in a house we bought etc etc…

 

Its hard trying not to bring it up when you dont even have a timeline, but it soulds like your plan is great- its all positive for you, you just need to do a bit more digging when you have the next chat- but if he has your ring size I would say its all good!

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