Post # 1
My dilemma is that my now hubby and I were married 3/24/11 in a civil ceremony and we are now planning on having a traditional wedding ceremony and reception. I had been unemployed for quite some time and medical issues came up that required I have health insurance. So, we were married at the courthouse and only his parents were there and know about this. I am extremely grateful to have health insurance now and to have been able to take care of my health (which was obviously very important).
I feel like I definitely missed out on having a wedding because of this and don’t want to look like I’m “staging” a “fake” wedding. I purposely did not tell anyone because I don’t want them to perceive that during the traditional wedding. At the civil ceremony, there were no pictures, didn’t get formally dressed up, no flowers, no cake. We considered the civil ceremony just legalities and something that needed to get done. We don’t wear wedding bands and as mentioned earlier, only his parents were there for the ceremony and are understanding of our situation (I know for a fact my family would not have been understanding at all.)
Is it tacky for me to try to plan a traditional wedding now? I feel like it would be wonderful to have our marriage blessed in a church (Methodist), have family there to support us and celebrate with friends as well. I know that if we go through with this, it would likely be in our best interest to do this asap so this lingering feeling of “limbo” can be resolved and we can move on with our lives. I mentioned a destination wedding to our family and now they are torn bc of the financial burden. This has become very frustrating. Any advice is greatly appreciated! Thank you.
Post # 3
You are not wrong to want a traditional wedding to celebrate your union. No one needs to know that you and your hubby already legally tied the knot and it’s no one’s business the circumstances surrounding the reason either.
Do whatever kind of wedding you want to do, destiation, local, big, small, whatever… it’s you and your hubby’s time to celebrate with friends and family, and you can do it however you choose to.
Post # 4
If no one knows then how can they even care? Do what you want and what will make you feel like you’re really married. If that’s a destination wedding then great, if it’s a traditional wedding go for it too!
Post # 5
You are not the first person to do this, nor the last. So don’t feel badly at all.
If you really want the wedding for your family and they say a DW is expensive, just plan a traditional wedding. If you just want to get away, then do your DW. Which is more important to you? Traditional wedding with family, or DW with maybe not so much family?
Post # 6
FI and I are doing something similar. We need to get married this year for financial reasons but we’re not telling anyone and I am planning a traditional wedding. I’m treating our civil marriage as paperwork and treating the wedding as our true marriage. My cousin recently did the same thing; sometimes the timing just doesn’t work quite right for these situations and it’s nothing that you should feel guilty about nor is it any reason to take away from the celebration you have with your family and friends.
With respect to whether you should do a traditional church or DW, I think the most important thing is to have the wedding that you and FI want…Like PPs have said, it’s your day to celebrate with hubby surrounded by those you love most!