- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
Before starting the story just want to apologize if it sounds like a situation from junior high school! I am making a bigger deal of this than need be but am genuinely uncomfortable with the situation and need some advice on how to deal with it. In September I started dentistry at a new university (that forced me to move away from my fiancee so we’re currently in a long distance relationship). There was an orientation where I met another student – “Nick”- who started saying things such as , “how could i ever forget about you.” I felt uncomfortable and let him know right away that I was in a serious relationship. There was some drinking involved so I didn’t think much of his comment.
Since then, we became good friends. We never go out alone or anything like that but he will make a point to sit near me in class, go out of his way to help me with school work, and always seems to find me at any social events. We talk daily during the week. My girlfriends recently told me they noticed on a few occasions that he will put his laptop/bag in the seat next to the one which I normally sit in 30 minutes before the class starts. They have always teased me about him having a crush, and ‘lighting up’ near me but I really believed he knew where we stood – which is friendship. I talk to him like I would talk to any of my girl friends – and also clearly talk about my man- and until last night I thought he was very kind, friendly and I truly enjoyed his friendship.
Friday night we had a semi formal event/fundraiser, where I went with my usual group of lady friends. I saw Nick and meant to say hi but he was talking to another friend so I went and sat at a table with my girls. I was a little surprised he didn’t come to say hello at any point in the evening because it was so unlike him and I know he had seen me. However, I saw him again a few times chatting to a couple of women and he seemed to be having a great time so I understood that maybe he was preoccupied.
Towards the end of the night, I bumped into another friend I hadn’t seen in a while and a couple of his friends. Nick was standing nearby facing me. As soon as Nick saw me with these men, he bolted away from the women, came over to me and pulled me towards him by putting his arm around my shoulders… I felt uncomfortable and surprised because we had never had any physical contact but I waved bye to my friend and began talking to Nick.
We talked for a bit, and I noticed he was drunk and saying very uncharacteristic things. I asked him why no hello earlier, and mentioned that I hadn’t said hello to him because he was talking to a girl we both know and it looked like they were having a fun conversation. I admittedly teased him a bit and told him that they looked nice together. That is exactly what I said and all I said.
His face clouded over and he said, ” Fine, in that case I guess you’d like me to go talk to her !” , turned his back to me, and he stormed off. I was confused and went back to my table of friends, while he sat at the table across from ours alone for a couple of minutes before he left and I no longer saw him.
I felt maybe I had said something wrong so I sent him a brief text when I got home and said “hope you got home ok” to which he never responded which again is so uncharacteristic of him.
I feel confused and a bit mad at him. We are in the same small section for all of our classes, and if it weren’t for this I would probably just avoid the friendship but I know I will have to see him Monday. I don’t know where he is coming from, and I am not sure if I should apologize but I feel like i’ve already tried to extend a branch to him with the text. I do care for him as a friend but would be ready to let go of any contact/friendship if I didn’t have to see him every day in such a smallish class.
What was his anger all about and more importantly, how should I approach monday? just ignore the situation and him? try to talk?