(Closed) Confused!! Dont Know What To Do…sorry kind of long

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Like you said communication is key. Let him know his sudden change of heart has you worried. Do you want to ask him what happened over there that suddenly made him change is mind? Was it the LDR? Was it people chiming in with their thoughts or experiences? etc. That was a very quick turn of events that he needed time but by the next day went back to normal just so it could go back to the avoidant behavior.  

Post # 4
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Oh love and the military. From past experiences I have to say guys talk to each other and sometimes convince each other that they shouldnt be in a relationship. The military puts a lot of stress on a person and can often destroy relationships. If you can make this work through everything then youll be good for a long time. There are incredible support groups out there and great techniques on helping your relationship through military life (especially when there just starting off in the forces). Look into things like shared journals and webcam visits and different types of care packages to help comunication with his busy schedual. Its been awhile since Ive been in a military relationship but if you need some ideas just give out a shout.

Post # 6
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I am married to a Navy guy! While we are no longer doing the LD thing… (except for when he is away for training – generally 2 weeks every month), I totally understand this. When then BF moved to VA, I stayed in RI.  The LDR was hard and it makes it so much more difficult to truly understand how one feels about the other.  I think not being there when he came home every night and him going to work with a bunch of single guys made it hard for him to imagine a life with me.  Before I moved to VA with him, it took a lot of conversation to get him to admit that it wasn’t that he didn’t love me…it was that he was afraid of the next step and how it would change everything he was used to. Eventually, I moved there and his fears went away. I think it is just so hard in a LDR for military men (or anyone for that matter) to see how their separate worlds will combine seamlessly. 

Definitely have some more discussions with him. Find out what his fears are – are they about the changes that this means for his future and how he is going to combine his personal life with his miliarty life? Or is something about a future with you that scares him? These are two completely different fears  – the first is something that was dissipate with time, but the second is something that needs to be addressed immediately. 

Good luck!

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