- 3 years ago
- Wedding: July 2016
My fiance and I got engaged too young. We were both practically in our teens still and I pressured him into it. A lot of my friends were getting married young and I wanted that too at the time. It was horrible of me and I was in a bad place then. A really bad place. But I got help and I am better and thinking more clearly than I was back then. Well, we got engaged and we had a ring made out of old jewlery from family. My ring is .25ct solitare. It is pretty but it doesn’t feel like an engagement ring and never really has. Some of the comments I get in regards to my ring are:
“Hold on, let me get my glasses so I can see that little stone!”
“Is that a promise ring?”
“You are planning to upgrade right?”
It kind of hurts. When he proposed it was because I kind of backed him into doing so and it wasn’t spontaneous or romantic. We do want to get married one day, but we don’t want to get married right now. Apparently (and we didn’t know this at the time) after getting engaged, family and friends wanted us to get married within six months. I thought we could wait a few years.
Recently he and I talked about everything. When we are older and ready to marry, he will do a special engagement with a beautiful ring we pick out together (the ring I have now was my mom’s idea and not our own). I still feel engaged to him though. I don’t want to tell my family, “We called off the engagement until we can do it better when we are actually ready” because that sounds really selfish to me. I just don’t know. We don’t want people to consider us engaged or ask about the wedding anymore, but we still want them to know we are comitted to each other.
I just am so confused about everything and I hope you all can offer some feedback and advice. I know it was immature to get engaged when we both were not ready and I want to wait and get engaged when we are ready but I don’t know how to explain that to our family. Or to anyone really. I still wear my ring. I talked to my mom once about redoing our engagement when we’re older and she told me I was selfish and only really wanted that so I could get a bigger ring. I just don’t know what to do with all of this.
What are your thoughts and advice on the matter?