Post # 1
My SO and I are going to Europe in a few days for a much anticipated vacation. Everyone thinks he is going to propose while we are there, but I’ve been trying to stay realistic about it possibly not happening, so it doesn’t ruin my trip if it doesn’t happen. Well, at dinner last night he said that he promises that we’ll go ring shopping when we get back from our trip.
This would be exciting for lots of women, but he has ALWAYS said he wants it to be a suprise and that he would NEVER take me ring shopping, etc etc (we’ve been together 7 years and he’s never once said he would involve me in the engagement process). I got really upset that all this time he’s said he wanted it to be his thing and I’ve respected that (despite being very type A, planner, hate suprises kind of girl), but then he threw it out there that’d we go ring shopping when we got back. I told him ‘no, I wouldn’t go with him’ and told him how I felt confused why after all this time if he was really ready to go ring shopping why he doesn’t just do it himself like he said he wanted to all along. Now, I’m worried he maybe needs the confidence of me going with him or something and I told him ‘no’.
But I’m also wondering if he was being stupid and trying to throw me off so I don’t think it’s going to happen on our trip… after we talked and he knew I was upset he asked that we not talk about it again until we get back and just enjoy our trip and everything will work out. What the crap!
I know I should get back to where I was thinking it wouldn’t happen, but he brought it up and now I’m totally confused and I told him I wouldn’t bring it up with him until after we got back… so I don’t have anyone to talk to about it and I’m going crazy in my head (I don’t talk to anyone about my feelings regarding the proposal b/c everyone gives me crap about us being together so long and not being engaged yet)–
Did i make a mistake telling him I wouldn’t go shopping when we get back? Am I crazy thinking it might still happen in Europe? Any advice how to get my mind off of it between now and when we leave (Thursday) and while we are there? Should I bring it back up when we get back if it doesn’t happen? HELP! I feel like I have crazy brain… and that’s not what I want right before what will be the best vacation of my life (with or without a proposal).
Post # 3
Sounds to me like it might have been just to throw you off from thinking it’ll happen on the trip – or maybe he just wants you to know it won’t happen on the trip so you don’t get your hopes up.
Either way, I think sticking to your plan of not expecting it on your trip is best. If it doesn’t happen, you’re ready for that and if it does, it’ll be a surprise 🙂
I don’t think you made a mistake telling him you won’t go shopping with him. It’s understandable that it confused you and I think if it doesn’t happen while you’re there, then when you get back and are ready to talk about it you can tell him you’ve changed your mind and are ready to go (if that’s how you’re feeling at the time).
Try to relax and focus on enjoying your trip – I’m sure it’ll be wonderful. And keep us posted!
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant
Girl, take some deep breaths!! It sounds like he’s trying to throw you off and doing a terrible job at it, lol! If I were you, I wouldn’t get too worked up–he’s planning to propose soon, whether it’s on the vacation or right after, so you should be celebrating! Have fun with this time and don’t stress too much–it’s right around the corner. He probably has the whole thing planned out and just wanted to drive you nuts 😉
If the proposal doesn’t happen on your vaca and he still wants you to look at rings with him, I’d go do it. He just wants to make sure you’re happy 😉
Good luck and an early congrats to you both!
Post # 5
I think he is trying to throw you off too. BUT focus on a wonderful vacation and try not worry too much about it happening while you are there (just in case!). You can re-evaluate whether or not you want to go ring shopping with him when you two get back from your trip…if you need to go ring shopping!
The important thing is that he is going to propose soon and that is exciting! Have a fantastic vacation 🙂
Post # 6
My Fiance did this to me. We were going on a long weekend trip and he told me we would go ring shopping after that. He proposed about a week BEFORE the trip 🙂 He may just be trying to throw you off!
Post # 7
It sounds like he’s trying to throw you off but I’m no expert. Maybe he wants to trick you into thinking it won’t happen on vacation so you’ll just relax and enjoy the vacation, and he can catch you off-guard and surprise you!
Post # 8
A few months before my Fiance proposed we went “Ring Shopping.” He took me to a million different Jewelers and at each store he made me pick my favorite ring. I like very antique style rings and my Fiance is very traditional. I knew he was going to choose a ring, I didn’t know which one and I didn’t know when he would propose. But he got the exact ring I wanted and it was such a surpise.
I’m glad we did the ring shopping because I would’ve gotten something I didn’t really like! I say go with him!
Post # 9
Well, either way, the good news is that you have some time to see how it plays out. Go on vacation. If he proposes, you will obviously be thrilled. If he doesn’t, you know he’s ready and about to go ring shopping. If you come home with a naked finger, let him know that you’ve thought about it and that you would like to go ring shopping together, but that you’d still like him to ultimately pick your ring and surprise you with it. If he’s trying to throw you off, you’ll know soon enough. If he really wants your help/input, you’ll know that too. Just see what he does on vacay and go from there!