(Closed) Confused please help!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4713 posts
Honey bee

Wow… How rude of her! You don’t ever tell people “Oh, by the way, I expect you to give me money to cover your plate.” 

If you’re doing her hair free of charge, I’d consider that more than enough – especially with how rude she is being!

Post # 4
Member
12816 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ugh, I wouldn’t go if someone told me what they expected me to give them.

I would give her what you can afford, and count the hair trials/day of hair/makeup towards the gift.  That’s a lot to ask of someone, and if she thinks that’s cheap, she’s got another thing coming.

Post # 5
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@mepayne:  +1

@CantAffordConfused:  Doing her hair is gift enough. It is rude and inappropriate to tell people what to get you or assume you will be receiving a wedding present. It is even worse to put a price on it. I would get her a nice card and if you want a gift within your budget. But again like I said gifting your time to travel and style her hair should be enough.  

Post # 6
Member
3118 posts
Sugar bee

I think what you’ve already done for her is enough. Yes, she may decide to not return to your business, but really if she talks to her friends like that I wouldn’t miss her.

Post # 7
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I agree it’s extremely rude of her to suggest that amount that her guests should give. Hair and makeup is costly and you have already provided her with hundreds of dollars of services for free.

I would still give a card. Perhaps you can mention something about being pleased to have been able to contribute to her look on the day.

If she complains about that, she’s taking advantage of your skills.

Post # 8
Member
10454 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Ummmm..she can NOT charge admission to her wedding. Wow! 

Post # 9
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

That is so rude! I wouldn’t give her any money. But if you want to then just give her what you can afford. If she stops talking to you or no longer asks you to do her hair, then she is friken ungratefull. Samething if you want to get her a present, just whatever you can afford.

Post # 10
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

@Pinkmoon:  Unless she was a celebrity! Like come on, who does that?

I think your hair trials and her wedding hairdo is plenty gift enough! And if she says something about it, you could say $ 50 each trial, $ 50 highlights, and $75 for wedding, hey, look you OWE me now!

Some people have no class!

Post # 11
Member
755 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Pinkmoon:  

I agree. Maybe this is a regional thing but as a Southern girl…that it is just not done. You’ve done enough for her already, at most I would just write her a nice card wishing her well.

Post # 12
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Oh wow, so rude. It’s not like she’s asking for cash through honeyfund…she is actually charging admission. I think you have gone above and beyond the call of duty. Write a nice card if you feel the need. You have to think of what’s best for your family as well and give what you can afford. You’ve given her a service that would normally cost well over her $200 admission fee. 

Post # 13
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

This is actually quite common here. Lots of close friends have said that they expect money and we’ve had discussions about appropriate amounts! People do have expectations, said or unsaid! That said, you have done a lot for her and I’m sure your comments to you were off the cuff and possibly in general conversation instead of directed at you (although in bad taste!). I’m sure she recognises that you have done a lot and doesn’t expect anything. If it were me I would make this clear …

Post # 15
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@CantAffordConfused:  Yikes. She seems high maintnence, those ladies can totally morph into a zilla. I don’t think you need to say anything to her about the “gift,” as you shouldn’t be expected to give a gift especially not with a price minimum. If she rudely becomes cronfontational post-wedding concerning it you can either explain to her the costs of your services that were provided to her as a gift. Or you can just roll your eyes and cut this demanding wedding diva from your life. Sorry you’re in that spot. I’ve dealt with a zilla recently and my goodness…the “demands” she has are just out of control. 

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