Post # 1
Hi…Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I have a question and hope someone can help answer it because I’m confused. I got married 9.5 years ago and am just afraid I may be a bit out of touch. I have a client for 10years (became friends but not close), She invited me to her 450 people wedding. She mentioned that she expect her guest to give $100 to cover the plate (bringing the husband that’s $200) but I’ll be doing her highlights and color the week of her wedding and driving 45 minutes to her Hotel room to do her updo on her wedding day, plus did NOT charge her for the 2 updos tryout a few weeks back. Do I still give her a gift on top of all that? Or how much money should I give her? I don’t want her to think I’m a cheapskates but I think I’m already doing plenty for her. I do hair from my house. I don’t make a lot of money and I’m not always busy because I don’t want anyone to come to my home and just recently my husband was in a motorcycle accident, he had to take a month off work for a knee surgery so financially we can’t really afford to give her what she expect on her wedding day. I’m not sure what to say to her because I also don’t want to lose her as a client and friend. I want to go to her wedding but I personally disagree w/her. A wedding gift is not a ticket for admission, nor is it a financial exchange. It’s a present! It’s token of your affection for the couple celebrating their new life together. I feel that people we invite to our wedding are people we care for and we want to share our special day w/them n we do not expect anything from them because some people can’t afford to give that amount but that’s just me… So what will u do? Thanks!
Post # 3
Wow… How rude of her! You don’t ever tell people “Oh, by the way, I expect you to give me money to cover your plate.”
If you’re doing her hair free of charge, I’d consider that more than enough – especially with how rude she is being!
Post # 4
Ugh, I wouldn’t go if someone told me what they expected me to give them.
I would give her what you can afford, and count the hair trials/day of hair/makeup towards the gift. That’s a lot to ask of someone, and if she thinks that’s cheap, she’s got another thing coming.
Post # 5
@CantAffordConfused: Doing her hair is gift enough. It is rude and inappropriate to tell people what to get you or assume you will be receiving a wedding present. It is even worse to put a price on it. I would get her a nice card and if you want a gift within your budget. But again like I said gifting your time to travel and style her hair should be enough.
Post # 6
I think what you’ve already done for her is enough. Yes, she may decide to not return to your business, but really if she talks to her friends like that I wouldn’t miss her.
Post # 7
I agree it’s extremely rude of her to suggest that amount that her guests should give. Hair and makeup is costly and you have already provided her with hundreds of dollars of services for free.
I would still give a card. Perhaps you can mention something about being pleased to have been able to contribute to her look on the day.
If she complains about that, she’s taking advantage of your skills.
Post # 8
Ummmm..she can NOT charge admission to her wedding. Wow!
Post # 9
That is so rude! I wouldn’t give her any money. But if you want to then just give her what you can afford. If she stops talking to you or no longer asks you to do her hair, then she is friken ungratefull. Samething if you want to get her a present, just whatever you can afford.
Post # 10
@Pinkmoon: Unless she was a celebrity! Like come on, who does that?
I think your hair trials and her wedding hairdo is plenty gift enough! And if she says something about it, you could say $ 50 each trial, $ 50 highlights, and $75 for wedding, hey, look you OWE me now!
Some people have no class!
Post # 11
I agree. Maybe this is a regional thing but as a Southern girl…that it is just not done. You’ve done enough for her already, at most I would just write her a nice card wishing her well.
Post # 12
Oh wow, so rude. It’s not like she’s asking for cash through honeyfund…she is actually charging admission. I think you have gone above and beyond the call of duty. Write a nice card if you feel the need. You have to think of what’s best for your family as well and give what you can afford. You’ve given her a service that would normally cost well over her $200 admission fee.
Post # 13
This is actually quite common here. Lots of close friends have said that they expect money and we’ve had discussions about appropriate amounts! People do have expectations, said or unsaid! That said, you have done a lot for her and I’m sure your comments to you were off the cuff and possibly in general conversation instead of directed at you (although in bad taste!). I’m sure she recognises that you have done a lot and doesn’t expect anything. If it were me I would make this clear …
Post # 14
Thank you all for your reply. I want to tell her nicely but I guess…I just don’t know how to say it and don’t know how she’ll feel. When she told me she expects $100 to cover the plate I was thinking she was giving me a hint. She have a good job and makes a lot of money and live w/daddy so I guess she expect all her friends to have money like her. Even her BMs are not too happy about all her demands. They were complaining that she expected too much. She wants them to host her bridal shower, and 2 bachelorette parties. One in Mexico and one in hometown. I didn’t go to her bridal shower because I was busy and couldn’t afford to go to her bachelorette party in MX but I did went to the one here and had to paid $80 for the package (but I had fun). She also wants them to grow their hair long and if it’s not long enough for her she wants them to put extension on. She picked the hair style and makeup (eyeshadows) for them. WOW… Makeup it’s hard, because u have to find the right color to match your skin tone. When I had my wedding I didn’t expect anything from my BMs or guests. I didn’t have a bridal shower and didn’t ask for a bachelorette party but they gave it to me anyways in Vegas but I paid for the hotel for 3 nights. I got my friends to come do my BMs hair and makeup for free. I’m just in shock that she would make her BMs be obligated to do so much for her. SIGH…Thank God for internet because I needed to talk to someone. I feel better now letting all out. Thanks again…
Post # 15
@CantAffordConfused: Yikes. She seems high maintnence, those ladies can totally morph into a zilla. I don’t think you need to say anything to her about the “gift,” as you shouldn’t be expected to give a gift especially not with a price minimum. If she rudely becomes cronfontational post-wedding concerning it you can either explain to her the costs of your services that were provided to her as a gift. Or you can just roll your eyes and cut this demanding wedding diva from your life. Sorry you’re in that spot. I’ve dealt with a zilla recently and my goodness…the “demands” she has are just out of control.