Post # 1
So, I went to mass today, as I was walking in father bill asked me if I had chose the readings for the wedding I told him yes ofcourse, I went and sat down then I remember that I wasnt sure if I needed to get altar boys/girls or if the church would do that so I went and asked him. when I did he said no we wont need them because we are not doing a full mass, we are just doing the reading, I would only guess what my face looked like, I was a little shocked a little dissapointed (now, my Fiance is not catholic and a lot of the guest are not going to be catholic, probably only 15-20% of them are only going to be catholic) but I clearly remember me and Fiance telling him that we were going to do a full mass b/c it was important to me, he had suguested we didnt do it, but he said he would, now idk if I should go and meet with him and tell him he got confused and he is wrong, that we are going to do a whole mass I haven’t made programs (yes I know is in a week but I have no one helping me plan this weeding I have done everything myself. My friends are just about useless, and sometimes I just wish I could tell them dont even worry about showing up, sometimes I just feel like canceling the whole wedding, or just putting my beautiful white dress with no one in the church and telling father bill to marry us with no one there but just the two of us in the presence of god, with no decorations or anything…) and I been extremely busy with school, and I just finish school so I plan on using this whole week to the fullest maybe not having a full mass will be the best and easier and I wont have to make programs to explain to the non-catholic about communion. idk, having communion really meant a lot to me.
Does anyone have any advice? what does your significant other does while you are doing communion,? if i choose to go that route..
sorry girls is so long but any kid of help will be appreciate.
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards
I think your husband will just have to sit there while you recieve. There’s nothing else for him to do, right?
I would have said something right then and there. If the full mass is important to you, don’t let another day go by without this being squared away.
Post # 4
Think about what’s important to you, and whether you’ll regret not having a full mass in 20 years. If you think you’ll be angry because your priest “bullied” you into not having the mass, I think you should speak up.
Is it necessary to go through the added work of explaining what communion is, though? I feel like most people understand its representation.
Post # 6
Can you call up your priest and tell him how important a full Mass is to you?
Post # 7
Well, I think that if the priest said originally that you were going to have a full Mass, then you should call him and tell him how important it is, however, maybe there was a miscommunication and he was like, “hm, yeah, maybe you could have a full mass…” and you took that as a solid “yes?”
However, I think you really need to understand the reasons why it’s very discouraged for couples to have a Mass when one of them isn’t Catholics: The wedding ceremony is uniting you, and it is not a very unifying way to start off your marriage with him not receiving Communion and you are! It emphasizes those spiritual differences!
Perhaps you could go to Mass earlier in the day (many churches have a Saturday morning Mass) so that you could still have received communion on your wedding day?
Post # 8
All the non-Catholic party (FI, etc) can get a blessing instead of the communion. Of course, this makes sense only if they are Christian (any denomination). We discussed all this at the Catholic engagement class, which is mandatory in order to have a Catholic wedding.
FYI, I am Catholic and my husband is Protestant. We decided against the full Mass because it didn’t really seem nice to us to divide people based on faith: we wanted everyone to be able to participate equally, if it makes sense.
Post # 9
@khelada15: Tyically there is a “Wedding coordinator” at each Catholic Church that assists with all of this. Did you get one of the “Together for life” books? where you read through all the suggested readings, prayers, blessings, vows mark down each one you want in the back of the book & then you turn that in to the coordinator & they are supposed to go by that. The priest goes by what you mark down. I was taught throughout my Catholic wedding planning that they only do a Mass if both the couple are Catholic. if not then they do the ceremony, which is the Mass without communion & it last for about 40 min as opposed to a full hour. but you go through the same format with the opening prayer, 1st reading, responsorial psalm, 2nd reading, Gospel acclamation, gospel, Homily, & somewhere in there vows & exchange of rings. Lord’s prayer is done,…you get all those traditional element. but if you have a devotion to Eucharist I see where & why it is important to you. What I would do is confront him ASAP! call & remind him he was at one point willing to pull you a favor, he may just need a reminder, priest’s are SUPER BUSY! & if he is pastor at your parish he is all the more busy. If he does not feel comfortable with it & does not want to do it. it will probably be something at this point in the planning game to just reconcile to the idea of it just being a Catholic Wedding ceremony & not a Catholic wedding Mass. maybe in the future your hubby will feel the Holy Spirit leading him into the church & on an anniversary have a Mass. just a thought. I know not the same. but when marrying a non-Catholic compromises have to be made. as far as church decor goes. all we did was pew bows. we couldn’t afford to do much anyway & I didn’t want to be having to clean up & set up too much or have guests or family be working too much so we kept it VERY VERY BASIC. as much as I wanted fabric & flowers on the pews . . . after praying about it. it started to feel material so I omittied it & kept it as simple as I could. but that was us. good luck to you. It will be all be fine. in the end it will be a Christan Sanctified Sacramental Marriage & you cannot put a price on that. keep that as your focus all will fall into place from there. easier said than done, I know. I had my moments. God Bless. ;o)
Post # 10
I think I have decided to not have a full mass. I believe father Bill just forgot about it, he is very nice and he would more than happy to do it, but specially b/c there is so many non-catholics coming I think i’m going to go this route, I have spend hours thinking about it, and then I notice that he had give me both books one of mass and one without mass and the one that I have been taking with me everywhere (unconsusly) was the one with the outside mass. I’ll go to mass that morning. my Fiance is happy either way and I know he wont mind pleasing me. Thanks Bee’s
Post # 11
I didn’t do a full mass at my first wedding, because Darling Husband1 was Orthodox and over half of the guests weren’t Catholic. All that mattered to me was having the rings blessed, the readings, and being recognized as being married before God. However, if the mass is important to you, you can always call and ask if there was some confusion? Maybe he just forgot because he was distracted when you asked him? You should clear it up before printing programs (if you are doing them), just in case.