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Traditionally the MOH plans the shower, and the bride has nothing to do with it. BUT that's silly tradition! If you want to be involved, then be involved! And if you'd rather she plan it, then ask her to do that for you, in a nice way (try something like, "I'm already so stressed out with wedding plans, do you think you could do most of the planning of my shower for me? That would be a huge help! if the cost is too much, my dad can help out.").
It sounds like you guys have talked it out, and that's good. I don't think you were out of line for wanting her to do the planning; it just sounds like a miscommunication!
@DDW: Thanks girl. It just really stinks because when I was talking to her last night through text, NOTHING went right. She said she got mad when I said that the MOH is supposed to plan it. I told her I was wrong & that I was sorry for the way I acted, she said that it was fine & that she's not mad. But you're right - it was definitely a miscommunication problem. But, you ladies know how it is when you have a fight with your best friend..it stinks!
Lees! don't do it over text, hahaha.... that's why it went wrong! Silly girl, next time call her instead of texting!
I know :( Through text you NEVER know how one another's talking. She eventually called me because I said EVERYTHING'S GOING WRONG! Haha, so she waslike...okay, what's wrong? We talked it out..but I still feel crappy!
are you worried this will affect your friendship with her? Maybe you two need to hang out and not talk about the wedding or shower or stuff for an evening! just girl time :)
Yeah, I guess I am a little afraid of that. You're totally right though, we need girl time! :) Thanks DDW, you were a big help!
Sounds like you need to talk to her about what is expected of a MOH. She may not know what she needs to do! Make a list of things to talk about with her, and lay down all the tasks ahead of you and who will take care of them. You don't have to worry about fighting in the future if she's on the same page.
Do you just have her in your wedding party or are there other BMs involved?
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Well, my MOH is my brothers girlfriend...and my dad told her that if she needed any $$ come to her about it. The only thing we've done so far for my February 13 Bridal Shower is go rent a room for it, and we did this together. I guess my MOH got the idea that I wanted to help equally with planning the bridal shower. I'm a very hands on person (especially when it comes to weddings), so I can understand her thinking that...but I didn't know that she thought that until last night...
Invitations were needing to go out this week for the bridal shower, and I had been looking high & low for some, and I would txt her every now and then to see if she found anything...she would always just text back "nope" so I didn't think anything was getting done. I text her last night and finally just told her that I didn't care what the invitation looked like, just as long as they were pretty. She says okay, and I ask if she needs my help finding one anymore..then basically it turns into a little arguement where she thought that I was supposed to help and then suddenly I don't want to help & she's the MOH...because I got kind of mad in a text and said "I do want to help when you need my help, but I'm not supposed to plan it...the MOH is." So basically I turned out being a bit** & being rude about it, I later apoligized and she even called me & we talked about it.
So, I guess I DID give her the reason that I wanted to help with planning it along the lines somewhere, and I told her last night that she was right...that I do want to help but I just didn't know where we stood on the invitations so I got stressed out.
I guess it's just when I got to looking for the invitations and started to realize I might be the one who gets them & sends them out, I started thinking I was the one planning it. Have you guys helped plan a bridal shower before? Was I wrong to tell her that I wasn't supposed to really help? Everything's pretty much fine now, I guess I feel crappy about the situation and need some more advice...thanks bees!