Considering elopement due to age difference?

posted 2 years ago in Elopement
Post # 2
481 posts
Helper bee

rosecut:  My partner is also older than “socially acceptable” for me – not much, but I’m 23 and he’s 34. We’re eloping, though not for that reason.

I can totally relate to you about acting differently around family than with friends/your partner. I can’t be myself around my family at all – I have to censor myself (they’re very conservative, often sexist and homophobic) and I have to act asexual. I’m actually estranged from my mother because of emotional abuse related to that. I’m assuming you don’t want to have to censor yourself at your wedding, so I’d definitely recommend elopement for you. My partner and I are having a quickie Vegas wedding, then having a party later. Maybe you guys could try something like that?

Post # 3
10877 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

If you really want to have a wedding with guests, I think you should have a wedding with guests and not cheat yourself out of that perhaps once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Depending on your ages, a big age difference may not be a big deal. One of my best friends married a man who is 14 years older than she, and one of my extended family members married a man who is 17 years her senior.

Post # 4
9525 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

If you are only comfortable with immediate family, then only invite immediate family. Let people get to know you two, as a couple, and people will forget about the age difference.

Post # 5
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

The bigger reason to elope I see here is your feeling comfortable with your family vs. your friends. I totally get it and I am the same way.

Your wedding day should above all be fun for you. If the traditional format will be miserable for you, don’t do it. Find a format that is fun for yourself and your future spouse, run with that, and don’t let anyone get you down!

Post # 6
5763 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

If you’re not confident in showing your family “this is who I choose to spend my life with,” then you may want to wait a while before marrying. If he’s Mr Right, then he isn’t going anywhere. 

Post # 7
481 posts
Helper bee

freshflowers:  I second this! If anything makes you uncomfortable, there’s no need to do it at your wedding – this includes inviting extended family. So long as the marriage license is there, there are no rules as to what you must/must not do at your wedding.

  • This reply was modified 2 years ago by  SexyCatLady. Reason: typo!
Post # 9
112 posts
Blushing bee

Amal Alamuddin is 36 and George Clooney is 53. So what? An age gap is not a problem when both individuals are making mature decisions.

If, however, you’re 19 and wanting to marry a guy twenty years older than you… I would see that raising some eyebrows from friends or family. They may just be worried about you making a big life decision when you’re not ready.

How long have you been together? If you feel like you know each other and know this is what you want… why should an age difference matter?

Post # 11
481 posts
Helper bee

rosecut:  Less than 3 years? I don’t know anyone who would be weirded out by that – it seems pretty average!

Post # 12
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

he’s only 3 years older than you?! unless you’re 15, i really don’t think this should be an issue. 

Post # 14
481 posts
Helper bee

rosecut:  Oh, gotcha!! That certainly seems long enough to know that you’re ready to be married.

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