considering not going to FSIL's wedding…

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: would you attend?
    yes : (55 votes)
    71 %
    no : (22 votes)
    29 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @spara38:  If you can’t afford to go, don’t go. I wouldn’t go into debt or be strapped for cash for someone else’s wedding.

    Post # 4
    Member
    716 posts
    Busy bee

    That’s a rough situation.  She seems to be completely flying off the handle.  What does your FI say?  What do you think your FBIL and FILs would think of your decision?  Would they understand or be hurt?  Forget about the bride for a sec and think of if this will affect your standing in the family.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    7282 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MrsPanda99:  <–this. Especially an entitled ingrate like this. Please I’d stay home. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    5544 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I would because it is still FBILs wedding too. But if you can’t afford the wedding party attire,  go as guests only,  if for nothing else than to support FBIL. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    2063 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I would probably do everything in my power/within financial reason to attend. despite what you think about her behaviour, i think it will cause problems FOREVER if you don’t attend. my FMIL’s brother wasn’t at her ceremony and it still gets brought up over 30 years later. Grin and bear it, I’d say.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1287 posts
    Bumble bee

    you’re going to be family, for the rest of your lives, potentially, there isn’t a damn thing you can do but go or make the situation even worse than what it is now, and it will go on for years, it won’t be temporary.  

    Post # 9
    Member
    753 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    i would say go becuase its your future family and with all the dramtics that you described it would probably be a big deal that you didnt attend, especially if somone found out your reasoning.. also ur FI is it.. and you care for the groom.. AND is your wedding date correct? you will not re-coop one vacation day in a year and half?  

    Post # 10
    Member
    3948 posts
    Honey bee

    Yes, i think you are wrong for not going. Yes, she may be acting like a bridezilla and this marriage may not last. But who are you to judge? This is your future brother in law and you fiance should be there to support him.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1298 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    @spara38:  was she this controlling before planning her wedding? Or is it just recently? I agree that her behavior is over the top. However, she is going to be family once you marry your FI, so you have to also consider how much grief you’ll potentially get if you don’t go to her wedding. Sort of a suffer for one day vs for years to come … 

    Post # 12
    Member
    4576 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I’m not losing out on money to attend someone elses wedding. Sorry kid, but that’s the breaks when you schedule a weekday wedding.

    Post # 13
    Member
    6506 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    If this was my DH’s brother we would go even if we really disliked his FI. I would hate to hurt him by not going to the wedding. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    3199 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @lolaswann:  +1. i wouldnt not go, just for the simple fact that it will probably affect your relationships with other members of the family.

    Post # 15
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I agree that it is family and family is important. HOWEVER, being family doesn’t give you an all access pass to treat me like shit. Life is too short for that nonsense. Family or not, I don’t make time in my life for people who treat me or FI poorly. Maybe SHE should be reminded that you are family and she should act accordingly. People deserve basic respect and the world doesn’t revolve around your wedding. I think the bride needs a reality check.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2527 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    i wouldn’t go. i don’t care if she’s going to be family. i have no issue cutting people like that out of my life, family or not. if you’re going to treat me like shit and have temper tantrums, then i don’t need you in my life. period. your FI should bow out of the wedding party. don’t go into debt for this. it’s not worth it.

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