Post # 1
This is one part of the wedding that I have purposely avoided thinking about. I grew up with an abusive father who has been out of my life for over 10 years. I tried to reconcile with him several times but it always ends up with me being more hurt. He has some mental health issues and for whatever reason, he blames me for causing the divorce between my mom and him. Needless to say, my father won’t be walking me down the aisle nor will he be invited to the wedding at all.
Whenever I go to weddings and see brides walking down the aisle with their fathers I can’t help but feel a little bit sad. I have no idea who should walk me down the aisle or if I should do it alone. I don’t really have any other father figure to fill the role.
Did anyone else walk down the aisle by themselves? If so, what was your reason and are you glad that you did?
Post # 3
@As_You_Wish: Love your BEE NAME. I am really sorry bout the dad relationship. I sthere anyone on your Fiance side that u have grown close to that can walk you down…you could even find out if it is possible to let a female walk you down (i am not sure wat your pastor/priest/officiant may say) Hope your get someone. If not OWN THAT AISLE BY URSELF. mwahhh 🙂
Post # 4
Have you considered walking down with your FI? Obviously if you aren’t doing a first look this probably won’t work out, but I think we are currently leaning that direction.
Post # 5
I’m really sorry you had to grow up that way 🙁 I don’t think it would be a bad idea to walk alone! Much more dramatic. Have you thought about maybe asking your brother to walk you down? Or another male that you are super close with, heck maybe even your mom if she was there for you as a child to protect you. I would say that if you can’t find a man who is REALLY close with you, I’d walk alone.
Post # 6
I thought about having my mom walk me down the aisle but for some reason I’m not feeling it. For one thing, my mom is really short and I’m tall so I’m afraid I’d look like a giant walking alongside her.
My Fiance already offered to walk down the aisle with me which was very sweet of him. I don’t really mind that idea but I’m not sure how I feel about doing a first look. I kind of like the idea of coming through the door and down the aisle to wow him…but I suppose I could wow him just as easily with a first look. Plus I suppose that would be a bit more intimate.
The other options would be to have my younger brother or an uncle walk me down the aisle but I dunno. I’m not super close with either so I’m not sure how meaningful it would be.
I suppose it’s not a big deal which way I choose since the walk down the aisle will only take about 30 seconds and it’ll be over with…
Post # 7
My father passed away this year and I am walking by myself. But what no one besides my Fiance knows is that I planned to walk down by myself before he passed away. While we had gotten close in my adult years he wasn’t a big part of my liFe growing up, I didn’t feel he had any right to “give me away”. I loved him very much but I felt that walking down the aisle alone would be very representitive of my independence and how I grew up, it meant something to me to walk down by myself.
Post # 8
Oh p’shaw. Being given away by daddy is such a silly notion…. so passe. I can’t believe people still do it. Don’t get caught up in the wierd sentimentality of it. You are your own woman. Walk yourself down the aisle. Or get your groom to meet you half way and walk the rest of the way with you. Now THAT is romantic!!!
Post # 9
I think that it would be sweet to have your mom walk down the isle with you.
Moms are so easily forgotten in ceremonies. ):
Post # 10
Obviously it’s up to you, but count me in as another vote for your mom walking you down the aisle. The idea of being walked down the aisle is that you should “belong” to the person who’s giving you away. You don’t belong to your younger brother or your uncle or any other male relative whom you like better than your father. If you belong to anybody other than yourself, it’s to the person who brought you up — your mom.
Post # 11
I’m not close with my father either, so I’m actually having both my mom and brother walk me. I feel like it would be really symbolic and beautiful to have your mom do it. If you don’t want to have your mom walk you, and you do end up doing a first look before the ceremony, then I think that walking with your fiance is really beautiful, too. Kind of like he is already supporting you before the marriage has even happened? But I defnitely think that walking alone is okay. You would look beautiful, and true, it’s only 30 seconds, but it might be the best 30 seconds of the wedding – try to do something that will make you really happy!
Post # 12
If you don’t want to do a first look, have him meet you halfway! I’ve seen this done before. The bride walks half way down on her own, and the groom is standing at the halfway point waiting for her, and then they walk the last half together. You could still wow him with the walk down the aisle, but you wouldn’t have to do the entire walk alone. Just a suggestion!
Post # 13
I’ve been thinking about this myself and am frustrated at the seeming lack of alternatives. I have a very good relationship with my step-dad, but I really hate the idea of being “handed off” from one man to another. I’m choosing to marry my fiance, I’m not being bartered. Perhaps I’m looking at it the wrong way, but the more I read about where some of our wedding traditions stemmed from, the more frustrated I get!
So anyway, I think my solution will either be to walk by myself, or walk halfway with my dad and the rest of the way on my own. What is it about walking down the aisle that scares you? Is it just that you’ve seen your friends do it and you won’t be able to? If that’s the case, try to remember that everyone attending loves you and supports you and they won’t bat an eyelash at the fact that you’re walking alone. Or maybe a close friend or other relative could help you? Maybe even your mom or a bridesmaid?
I hope you find a solution and feel wonderful on your big day! I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and you’ll find a way to work it all out. Good luck!
Post # 14
I am seriously considering walking down the aisle alone as well….although for reasons that are very different from yours.
I believe in the symbolic meanings of gestures in celebratory events like weddings. I do not like the traditional interpretation of having a parent walking me down the aisle to “give me away”.
I am very close to my parents. Through marriage, I have not been given away from anyone or to anyone. For this reason, albeit probably a very silly reason to most people out there, I plan to walk alone, and I really don’t care how it’s interpreted by the guests. 🙂
Post # 15
I walked alone and I’m glad I did! My dad has MS and was unable to walk me due to his disability. I always pictured my dad walking me down so I figured if he could not, I would not replace him with anyone else. I love the pictures because they are a reflection of myself: independent and confident. And blissfully happy!
Post # 16
I am walking myself down the aisle. It’ll be fine.
I never wanted my father to walk me down the aisle. BUT I did ask my stefather if he would because I think it would be great to have him be a part of the ceremony. However, if my father attends the wedding I won’t have my stapdad walk me and I will walk myself. I had that planned for years to walk alone down the aisle anyway. My mom is my matron of honor or else I would have her walk with me. And walking down the aisle with someone does not mean they are giving you away (I am omitting the “who gives this woman to this man”)… in my eyes anyway. I know what tradition means but hey, I have 3 kids and I am wearing a white dress so, yeah LOL.