Consistently being let down.

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

Being in a wedding is expensive…I would find out if its that he doesn’t want to do it, or really can’t afford to.  Being broke is a miserable feeling, and it might be that he wishes he can do more but really can’t afford to.  If he can afford it but is just flaking on you, I think you made the right choice in allowing him to step down.  He should step down, or get sized and do what needs to be done if he wants to be in your wedding.

Post # 4
Member
7406 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Hollypololly:  When two people act like this towards a bride I tend to think that it may be somethign the bride is doing. What kind of things have you been requesting that they do? Also 2011-14 is a long engagement. How much have you been talking about your wedding and requesting things during this period?

Hen’s nights and the such are not requirements and no one even a BM has to attend especially if they cannot afford it.

Maybe you need to readjust your expectations of your bridal party?

Post # 7
Member
7406 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Hollypololly: Well I think asking them to be free for the two days before the wedding is a bit excessive but it sounds like everything else you have been doing hasn’t been.

Could it be that maybe you are more invested in these friendships than they are? 

Post # 9
Member
416 posts
Helper bee

Why did your MOH stop speaking to you?

Post # 11
Member
6506 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Hollypololly:  If your previous MOH said she didn’t have time to be MOH I’m guessing that a PP was right and asking them for two full days before the wedding and to take off of work for a Monday wedding is just too much. Yeah, the two days before are the weekend but my weekends are pretty important to me because I work so much during the week. To me, an entire weekend + Monday is considered a lot of time.

It’s good to hear you made up with your previous MOH, perhaps talk to your current MOH and ask if time issues are bothering him? If he doesn’t have enough money to attend your hen night than perhaps it was difficult for him to take off of work on Monday (or maybe he works weekends?).

Post # 13
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. It sounds like these people are being really unfair to you. I don’t think you’re asking too much at all.

Post # 14
Member
6506 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Hollypololly:  you said you wanted help with decorations so I thought you meant you wanted him decorating all weekend. Of course attending a rehearsal isn’t too big of a time commitment but there is a difference in asking someone to keep a weekend free and one evening free. I was just trying to show you how it might look from his point of view.

Post # 15
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Hollypololly:  you have bad friends? my BFF is so jealous and stubborn, she has not even called me since my engagement…. 7 months ago!!! It is beyond, not “ok” especially when she did me wrong and i still told her about engagement. She had been a bad friend prior but I let it slide- not anymore. They can only treat you poorly if you let them. It sucks, believe me. But I surround myself with people who treat me like I would treat them. Selfish people tend to make crappy friends and I just realized i don’t care that much about people who don’t care about me.

Post # 16
Member
27 posts
Newbee

I don’t think asking them to keep their days “free” or “open” is too much to ask two days before your wedding, at all.  It’s pretty standard for wedding preparation and the rehearsal dinner to precede the wedding – not sure why everyone’s making a big stink about it being “too much.”  There have been brides that have demanded a lot more. 

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors