Post # 1
I think I’ve made my decision but would like to hear opinions anyway…
Yesterday the mister received a call about a contract job in Iraq making a very NICE salary. He has been home for 3 weeks after a year long tour in Afghanistan. The contract job would be for a year but he is feeling torn about leaving us (me and babygirl) again. There’s no doubt in my mind he’s the one I want to spend my life with and waiting, although hard, is something I am more than willing to do.
So, my question is if you were in my shoes would you encourage him to go and push the wedding out another year?
Post # 3
Oh my, that’s quite the decision. There’s no way he’s able to wait to go until after you’re married? Is him making the large salary the reason he would go? When would he have to go?
Post # 4
My ex who is now like my brother was telling me about a contract job last night… to let me know that if he does it he may not be around next Oct. Depending on the job and the safety of said job… I would probably be OK with a contract job. Now, if he wanted to join or re-enlist in the Army so he can go to Iraq I wouldn’t be. There is a difference of being there as a soldier vs contractor.
Post # 5
Oh gosh, I have NO experience with this kind of situation. But, if the money would be hard to come by taking a position in the States, I might be inclined to let him make the decision on his own. I wouldn’t be able to sway one way or the other so I’d leave it to him. Instictively though, I think I’d rather have less money and have him here with me. Let us know what happens.
Post # 6
We are in a LDR now and part of the reason for deciding to go is the salary. I also am dealing with my ex (daughter’s father) in court and trying to get custody so having another year for everyone to adjust and accept the change would also be helpful.
He said the job is pretty safe and he wouldn not be out on missions like he was in Afghanistan, therefore I should not worry. He also said a soldier friend told him that she wouldn’t accept the job if they offered her 250k b/c it’s a very boring job.
We are still playing with the idea of having a legal ceremony before he would leave but processing would start Jan 2010. We still are waiting on all the details.
Post # 7
That nice salary is tax free…..think about some positive “family goals” you could do with the money.
Contractors are a totally different animal than a soldier.
Contractors can make 100K+ in a year. You can do a lot for your family with that kind of money. Buy a house, set up a college fund, etc.
It’s tough, but there are some big plusses. It’s not “just” money, ya know? It’s financially stabilizing your future.
Waiting is tough…but there are lots of unselfish things we do in our lives that suck big time that just make for a better, more stable future.
Post # 8
EJS are you peeking into my thoughts?
Post # 9
Honey, been there done that. The big salary DH made when he was overseas was the ONLY nice thing, and captains make like, half what contractors make
Now that he’s home, i’m SO THANKFUL because we were able to pay for the wedding AND have a nice nest egg under us. Life brings so many uncertainties….if we didn’t have the money, we’d be really unstable and our life would be a mess right now. And I wouldn’t want that. It’s so nice to not have those worries that everybody else does.
The money enables us to have a house and be 100% debt free. I’m 23 and he’s 26–that’s a big accomplishment. May not seem like a lot (since so many people in their 20’s still have loans and it’s all no big deal) but now that DH is home and has no job, and I’m wanting to go back to school and do something different, we’re both like, “wow we wouldn’t be able to do this unless you’d been deployed” and the idea of being so limited and trapped by lack of money is just….so sad.
If you get married before he goes, does he get a spousal hazard pay or extra money for that? I know military does, I didn’tknow if contract is the same way.
But, contractors have more privileges and stuff than the soldiers do, so it may not be so bad. Maybe he can even come home every few months.