- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
Recently, I had a friend that was bemoaning the fact that she & her long term boyfriend would never get married because would never have the money too. As I wrote yesterday, I believe that you can get married at any budget (and that your budget does not define the value of your wedding). I wanted today to specifically respond to those waiting (as in, years and years of waiting…I myself will have an 18 month engagement, 12 months of which were specifically for saving) with my perspective:
I want to talk about the big picture: Choosing when to get married.
Most of us contemplating marriage in our mid-twenties are lucky if we have next month’s rent and enough pesos in our pocket to buy a beer on the weekend. It’s not unrealistic to contemplate the thousands of dollars that a wedding CAN cost (but doesn’t have to!) and to think that we can never afford it. Or that we will only be able to afford it when we graduate, or when one of us gets a job, or when we get a raise, or when we can afford the perfect diamond ring (because clearly you need a big diamond ring before you can set a wedding date. FALSE), or the economy improves…etc.
We put so much pressure on ourselves (why don’t we have the blog-worthy wedding money?!), there’s pressure on our partners (why aren’t you making enough to support a wedding?!), and there’s pressure on our parents (why didn’t you save $30,000 for my wedding?!). But, can I make a proposal?
Take the pressure off. Get married now.
There’s never going to be a perfect moment. You will probably never feel like you have enough money. Set a date, set a number that you feel comfortable with, make a plan to save. And whether it’s $50 or $5,000 – move forward. Make your plans. Live your life. Own the wedding you will have, and get prepared to be married on an emotional level. And then Get Married. Your wedding will be beautiful because its YOUR wedding. You are marrying your partner – the one that will be there “for richer and poorer.” (And for most of us, we’re going to spend more time on the poorer side of things.)
But, but, wait you say…oh, you want a wedding for 200 of your closest friends, a couture cake, and full dinner? Married bliss just won’t be the same if you don’t have a glitzy gown and exotic honeymoon? Well, that’s fine. I want those things too. And maybe those things are worth waiting a year (after all, it does take some time to plan out a full course dinner for 100…) But if your realistic savings plan is going to put all of that 5 years down the road….then I leave you with wise words from someone much more brilliant than myself:
“So. To all of you waiting and wondering? You don’t get perfect. You just get someone that you want to spend imperfect with. And that is the biggest gift in the world.” (Meg‘s thoughts)
Let me leave you with this inspiration (also found in Meg’s thoughts):
An emotional, beautiful $2000 wedding.