(Closed) Convalidation ceremony ideas

posted 8 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’ve never heard of a convalidation being anything super formal.

Post # 4
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’ve never been to one, it seems like they are usually fairly private/informal. So I guess it all depends. Are you doing it right after your wedding? Or are you picturing it being more like a vow renewal, if its been a while? 

I don’t think you would need to wear a wedding dress. Probably just something simple and appropriate for church. 

As far as guests go, invite who you want to share in your marriage. Family, close friends. I don’t think it has to be anything big, just people you’d would think want to see it and who you’d feel supported by.

Time probably just depends on when the church and your priest is available. 

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I guess I can only add that the Church sees a wedding convalidation as a solution for couples who rebelled and got married outside of the Church and now are seeking to return and put their relationship right with God.  The Code of Canon Law actually forbids having second ceremonies and the convalidation should not be used as such.   If a priest is advocating you use it as such, he’s doing so in disobedience and is not doing his job.   I would talk with the priest.  Really all you need to get married are two witnesses, the Church witnesses and the couple.  You don’t need a whole bunch of guests.  And overall I’d say getting your marriage convalidated should happen sooner rather than later.

Post # 6
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I am in the same situation as you. I have been looking online to try to determine what is and is not appropriate for a Convalidation ceremony. So far, it appears that a smaller, low-key ceremony and reception is in order, but this is not necessarily true in all cases.  To me it seems that if you didn’t have a large wedding in the first place, there is nothing wrong with having a larger-scale Convalidation celebration with all the wedding traditions you would like to have. Some things that I would leave out would be the bridal/wedding shower and of course the bachelor and bachelorette parties – you’d be surprised that some people still want to have these events even though they are already married!

I think other people have mentioned this, but make sure you talk to your priest and see what he feels is appropriate. Many parishes have their own rules or standards for these ceremonies. It is best to have this talk with your priest as soon as you can so that you do not start planning something that you later find out they will not allow.

In my case, because I already had a relatively large wedding with all my family, friends and co-workers in attendance, I plan on making my Convalidation a more intimate occasion. For me it would seem awkward to invite everyone again, especially those people who are not local, though I have heard of couples doing this, especially for their anniversary.

So far, here is what I do plan on doing:

The ceremony will be either on a Friday or Saturday night.

I am currently working through this with our priest, but we will likely be able to have the ceremony as part of full, private mass.

I will be inviting both our families and possibly a select few very close friends for a total of around 2 -3 dozen guests.

I plan on wearing a tea length, off-white lace dress with flowers in my hair (but no bouquet) and my wedding shoes (as well as something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue). My husband will wear a suit with a boutonniere. A quick note on the dress – right now is a great time to find a dress since prom season is coming to an end and you can find formal dresses on sale. Also David’s Bridal has some beautiful short wedding dresses that are perfect for a Convalidation ceremony. Their $99 sale sis going on right now too!

We still have not decided if we will have a photographer but we are leaning towards hiring one. We know one that does really great, artistic pictures and does “shoot and burn” – no photo album, portraits, etc.

From everything I have read, there is nothing wrong with celebrating the Convalidation with a meal afterwards. As such, we plan on hosting a dinner in a private room at a nice restaurant.

We will have centerpieces at each table and favors/thank you items for each guest.

We will do a champagne toast and have cake, but the plan is to not have a traditional wedding cake look, we may even do cupcakes.

As of now, we don’t plan on having a DJ, but we may hire an acapella group to sing during dinner and maybe for an hour afterwards. This would allow for some dancing if our guests are so inclined.

Otherwise, we will not be doing many of the other traditional reception activities (bouquet and garter belt toss, father/daughter dance, etc.) as we already did those at our wedding reception.

 

I wish you the best of luck and hope that you have a wonderful and blessed occasion.

 

p.s. In speaking with our priest (who I truly believe is doing the Lord’s work and a very fine job at it), he has never made us feel that we are in rebellion with God or the Church for the choice we made as he is aware of the reasons and circumstances that made this choice our best route.

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