Post # 1
My FH is jewish and I am not. I am considering converting however if I do it will most probably be after our wedding next year (nonreligious civil ceremony).
I’m guessing my marriage will not be valid in the jewish religion? How do I change this? Do we re-marry and have a jewish service?
Thanks for all your help!!!
Post # 3
@linnylou_88: Just curious. Do you asbolutely have to convert?
My Mum is Christian and my Dad is Hindu. Both practice their own religions respectively. They have been happily married for 36 years.
Post # 4
The civil wedding would be considered not a ‘valid’ one in most religions but the required elements of a Jewish wedding (should you want one post-conversion) are actually quite minimal (most of what you see is cultural or tradition but not religiously required).
If you decide to convert, speak with your Rabbi as each branch has slightly different rules here–but my guess is the most you’d ‘need’ to do would be have some blessings and maybe sign a ketubah.
Post # 5
It depends who you want it to count for and which branch you’re converting to. Orthodox? If so then, yes, you will need to do a full ceremony again with a Orthodox Ketubah, etc. Reform? Well that has much more lax rules and would be up to your Rabbi. But note, that your marriage and conversion will probably never be valid, under Reform rules, in the eyes of Israel (i.e. you wouldn’t be able to may aliyah).
Post # 6
@classyashley: Reform and Conservative conversions are sufficient to make aliyah. (In fact, right now, they have an easier time than Orthodox converts of getting there…) Once there, the rabbanut, in defiance of the Israeli Supreme Court, will prevent her from marrying/divorcing/being buried there. If they have a civil ceremony abroad, the Israeli government will recognize them as married as well. So yes, life will not be peachy keen once you get there, but getting there itself is pretty easy.
Post # 7
the ketubbah is the marriage contract is a jewish wedding. if you get married now and then convert. go to the rabbi and sign a ketubbah with 2 other witnesses and then it will be recognized by reform and conservative jews, orthodox has much stricter rules.
Post # 8
My fiance is not Jewish but I am, and our rabbi is marrying us “Jewish style” anyway. We will sign a ketubah at the wedding itself, though it will not have the full traditional text. I think it all depends on what you, your fiance, and your future rabbi are comfortable with. I think my fiance is unlikely to ever officially convert, but we plan to raise a Jewish family together, and people who don’t think that’s legitimate can go screw themselves (we’ll join a congregation where we feel welcomed). It’s tougher for you because as a woman who is not Jewish, if you have kids, they will not be recognized as Jewish unless you convert first.
It’s hard to say what the process for getting officially married will look like, because it will vary so much by denomination and even the particular rabbi.
Post # 9
@linnylou_88: My answer speaks for Canadian Reform Judaism only, as that’s how I did my own conversion and how my SO and I practice. Your marriage would not be considered a Jewish legal marriage, as a ketubah was not signed (they don’t accept interfaith ketubot up here as far as I know, although some interfaith officiants will let you sign one for the sentiment), so you would need to have a Jewish chuppah ceremony. I believe the rules would be fairly similar in London (assuming your location is where you live) as both London and Toronto tend to have a more traditional view of Reform Judaism, while the US is generally more liberal about their views, according to my sponsoring rabbi who was raised in England, first worked as a rabbi in Lincoln, Nebraska, and then moved to Toronto.
Post # 10
Thank you all for your comments! FMIL knows a rabbi who should be able to help me. With the different denominations it’s getting a little confusing!