- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
I was brought up Methodist and love my religion. I’ve always thought methodism as accepting all and emphasizing spirituality. My FH is Catholic and loves his religion. He loves the tradition in the church and the emphasis on those traditions. He strongly feels we should raise our kids catholic, as we are getting married in a catholic church and are swearing to this. For this reason, I figured I would convert to catholicism. He has told me that I don’t have to convert, but I can’t help but feel the pressure. We go to his church every Sunday and I am always denied communion. I am always one of the few ‘strays’ left behind after the ‘catholic sifter.’ Even though I am baptised and am religious, I am denied bread and wine b/c I wasn’t baptised and schooled in catholicism. This only bothered me the first couple times we went and the feelings of being ‘left out’ of or ‘denied’ Christ eventually went away…until this weekend.
My nephew got baptised on Sunday and I didn’t even want my FH to go b/c I knew that a battle would ensue from his blantant dislike of some members of my family (who I love but I understand why they frustrate him) and my PMS. But my FMIL got involved and convinced him to go (stating that it would look bad, like we weren’t a united front, that he doesn’t care about my family, etc). She was just trying to be helpful, not realizing that I purposefully didn’t want him to go. So, after some thought he decided that he ‘wanted’ to go. AFTER, of course, he went to mass.
So he went to the 7:30am mass, then we went to my nephew’s Presbytarian church at 9:30am, to a gathering that lasted 1 hour and 15 minutes. Long story short, he hated it. He hated how long it was (b/c it took over an hour), how they didn’t connect the two readings but instead went on a tangent about some other scripiture, the powerpoint follow along, etc. Basically he disliked that it wasn’t what he was used to.
He’s been so closed minded toward my religion. When one of my other nephews got baptised in a Methodist church, he had NOTHING good to say about it. I mean THIS is my religion. Granted that particular church was a little different, but my Methodist church is wonderful. I love how they connect the scripture to day-to-day life and talk to the crowd. I love the way sunday school is organized. I love how the preacher talks about God without a time table…b.c he clearly loves his job. And through his strong distaste of my religion, I’m starting to question if I even LIKE his. The craziest thing is ITS ALL PRETTY MUCH THE SAME!!! We both believe in the same thing, just not in the way of worshipping Him. (Other than the body and blood of Christ….pretty much the only difference)
The more I think about it, the more I don’t want to convert b/c I just simply don’t believe in the ‘traditions’ and exculsions of other people of other denominations. I don’t like the ‘forced’ schooling until high school. The other crazy thing is FH HATED the classes he had to take, but insists our kids go through them b/c its in the tradition of his religion. He feels like it will cement the children in catholicism whereas the sunday school I went to allows you to ‘come and go’ as he would put it. Like you don’t have any sense of responsibility to go to church. Even though he stopped going to church after confirmation and only started going again b/c I was curious about his church…and he knew he wanted to get married there. Ugh! So hypocritical.
As you can figure, when this topic is even brought up we both have such passionate feelings of opposing views that nothing gets accomplished. I think the bottom line is, he is VERY closed minded toward my (or any) religion (other than his own)whereas I am open minded to any and all religions while still holding mine close to my heart. I mean, he has some good points that I’m sure I’m missing and he not a complete jerk as it appears I am painting him. But the more I even type about my plight, the more I don’t even want to get married in a catholic church, much less raise my kids catholic. But, it could be the PMS.
What would you do in this situation? What should we do?
P.S. Any Catholics out there, please don’t be offended by anything I have said, as it is not meant to be offensive. I’m simply venting my frustrations as someone from the ‘outside’ coming in.