(Closed) Converting to Catholic Before Wedding

posted 8 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
2397 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

In order to become Catholic, you have to go through RCIA.  Your home church may have information on their website regarding RCIA… but I found this FAQ on another church’s website that seems pretty thorough:


My dad went through this when I was little.  It was pretty involved, from what I recall.  I’d meet with your church and see what they say.  Good luck!

Post # 4
332 posts
Helper bee

I tried to get married at a Catholic church but couldnt. I am baptized Catholic. Fiance went through everything a Catholic is suppose to and his church still wouldnt marry us because I wasnt converted. So you most likely will need to do that before you marry, it depends on the priest but thats how most are. I just chose another church because I felt it was wrong to convert only because I wanted to get married. I think the reason to convert should be because you want to be Catholic and part of the Catholic church, which sounds like thats what you want. You will take on a lot to convert. My brother and his wife started the process to be married in the Catholic church but soon gave up. They had to donate a certain amount of money, attend at least 2 Sunday services a month, and not sure what else. It is time consuming and they just couldnt do it. Im not sure what all converting takes and it might be doable but to find out for sure you will have to talk to the church. Hope this helps a little, Im no expert on Catholics but hope this gives you an idea.

Post # 5
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

If you plan on converting anyway, I think it’s important that you convert now.  They will require a baptism, first communion, and confirmation just to convert you.  THEN you and your Fiance have to go through pre-cana.  It can take a lot of time, so you should talk with your parish-to-be ASAP to get started!  Sometimes the schedule depends on the bishop as well.

Post # 6
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oooh! I’m so excited that you love the Church!  That’s the best reason to convert! 

I was baptized Catholic, but as my parents were very Age of Aquarius, encouraged me to find my own faith rather than just push me into their own.  I’m so glad they did, since I was able to be confirmed when I felt I was mature enough to truly understand & love the Church (no offense to cradle Catholics – you all were just more mature than I was at 13-18)!  Therefore, I went through the RCIA process.  It IS time consuming (at least in my parish), but that’s because the Church very much wants us to understand what we Catholics believe & commit to BEFORE we commit to it.  In my parish, you can go through RCIA & do Pre-Cana/Engaged Encounter at the same time – I know because I had a good number of engaged couples in my class (some were BOTH getting Confirmed, some were co-sponsoring the other fiance/e, some were BOTH CONVERTING – the whole she-bang of sacraments).

But I hear you on the full work load (PLUS planning a wedding!  I’m praying for you, if that’s okay)…you don’t NEED to convert in order to marry in the Church (FI is not Catholic, but we are having a FULL nuptial mass) – but you do need to convert in order to receive the sacrament of Marriage along with your Fiance.  (for a full understanding of that statement, I’ll leave it to some of our resident experts on this board, like Mrs. Spring, Chelseamorning, or Rumblebee)  So, the real question is, do you want to receive the sacrament (of Marriage) with your Fiance or are you ok with receiving it at a later date, in order to accommodate the daily stresses of work, school, & wedding planning?  It’s a tough choice & only you can make it.

NOTE: RCIA time commitment VARIES BY PARISH…my Maid/Matron of Honor (also baptized Catholic & came later to her faith) went through her RCIA process in 2 months at the parish that neighbors mine (ours now, she was my sponsor & migrated to my parish during the RCIA process).

Post # 7
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

i didn’t read any responses but i’m in the same boat as you.  RCIA is the process you will go through, and that typically starts in august and ends in april (easter), w/meetings once a week. 

i’m also in school full time and working, and i discussed my options w/the director of the program, and she said while its ok if i miss some meetings, i chose to wait until next year (after the wedding and graduation) to begin b/c i want to be able to fully devote my self to RCIA and not get to it only when i can.

in regards to being married in the catholic church, my Fiance is a baptized catholic, i am not baptized, and it is ok for us to marry there.

and even though it won’t be a sacrament NOW, as soon as you become a baptized catholic your marriage will automatically be recognized as sacramental (this was a relief to me)

do what works best for you!

Post # 9
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Best of luck! Make sure you grab a bulletin after Mass as you may wind up needing to call a specific person during the week or make an appointment to speak with someone.

I wish you all the best.

In the meantime, Can I rec. some books to you so you can start to learn more about our faith and the mass?

The Lambs Supper – by Scott Hahn

Post # 10
6010 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Good luck on your journey, katherine26!  I converted to Catholicism 3 Easters ago this year, and it was such an incredible experience.  RCIA is time consuming, so depending on your current commitments you might want to wait.  But I converted while attending school and work full-time, and I thought the time investment was well worth it.  🙂  Keep us updated on your progress, and good luck with your wedding, as well! 

Post # 11
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Congratulations on your discernment of becoming Catholic. I would suggest that you do it now, or as soon as you can.  Life will always throw something at you, so even if school clears up, there will always be something else added to the mix.

There is a saying…


“Why put off until tomorrow, what you can do today… as if you do it today, you don’t have to worry about it tomorrow”




“Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow may not come… so do what you can today”

Post # 12
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Omg, Scott Hahn’s books are amazing. His book “Rome Sweet Home” is about him and his wife converting to Catholicism (and he was a full-fledged Protestant minister beforehand). I really really recommend it!

I converted too, before the wedding. You can do it before or after the wedding. To get married in a Catholic church, at least one person has to be a baptized, confirmed Catholic. So if your fiance is Catholic and you are still technically Lutheran, that will be fine. Every church has its policies, but absolutely you do not have to convert in order to be married in one. However, it would be really sweet to convert first, because then you could both take communion at your wedding, which would be really special. Good luck and let us know how things progress!

Post # 13
2 posts
  • Wedding: September 2010

This is right up my ally.

I am engaged and we’re getting married on 9/4/10. I was never baptized, but my fiance was raised Catholic and we are getting married at the St. Francis Xavier Basilica in Dyersville, IA. It was important to me to be come Catholic before getting married so I joined RCIA last September. I have class for an hour and a half every Tuesday night. Typically RCIA is done from Sept to April where you would become baptized and confirmed Catholic on Easter Vigil. I’m not sure if there’s any other option to become Catholic sooner or in any different format.

It is a commitment though. I work full time and go to school part time. It defintely adds more to my plate, but to me its certainly worth it.

Also there are some restrictions about getting married in a Catholic church if both are not confirmed Catholic. Some churches are fine either way, but others have more strict guidelines so you might want to check into that.

Good luck!

Post # 14
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am in RCIA now…classes are typically once a week…the “semester” started in September and goes until May…I go every thursday from 630-8…..I get baptized, confirmation and the eucharist on April 3rd!  It’s definitely been a learning experience….My family was Catholic growing up but I really wasn’t exposed to it…It was important to my fiance that I did this so we could get married in the catholic church..while sometimes I feel like I don’t understand the teacher (he’s so educated he assumes we all understand references he makes), I am glad I am doing it.

Post # 15
44 posts
  • Wedding: April 2011

Oh how I can relate 🙂  My Fiance is a cradle Catholic, and I was raised Lutheran.  We decided that we wanted to raise our children in one religion and make that religion a focal point of our lives.  I fell in love with Mass and decided I would make the conversion.  I’ve been in RCIA since September.  We had one class a week until December, and I just attended my “sending forth” by the archbishop last Sunday.  I just have until the Saturday before Easter (Holy Saturday) and then I get to take communion.  If you were baptized in another faith, with water, in the name of the trinity, then you won’t have to get rebaptized.  It’s been a long process but lots of fun and very insightful!  I’ll be kind of sad when it’s over but we’ll be pretty active in the parish!  Good luck!!

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