Post # 1
I’d like to start with some background of the story before I get into our wedding day. About 5 months before our wedding day I became very very sick and was having a hard time getting out of bed and eatting. I was in a lot of pain constantly and every doctor I went to was completely baffled and couldnt figure out what was going on. Unfortunately, I was hospitalized a crazy amount of times because of the pain I was in and because I was malnurished and losing weight rapidly. As the wedding approached I had to skip my flight back to go spend the rest of our engagement together with my now husband before our wedding day came. I did the best I could getting things together for our wedding and going to doctors at the same time despritely looking for a solution so I could feel healthy and without pain on our wedding day. Unfortunately, the wedding came and I ended up being in excruciating pain all morning all the way up to after we ate dinner at the reception. I hated my hair on our wedding day as I was in too much pain to focus my energy and thoughts toward how to have my hair done. I went in for a trial and looked back at the pictures and realized I didnt like the way it looked and then the second time I went to the salon but blood pressure had dropped incredibly and the salon called 911 and an ambulance brought me to the hospital.
The morning of the wedding everyone was downstairs getting ready while I was upstairs laying down trying to relax and hoping and praying the pain would just go away. It didn’t. I got out of bed after about 2-3 hours and went downstairs and started to get ready. I had no appetite but my MOH brought me some blueberries that I was able to eat. The hair stylist ended up spraying the hell out of my hair and the bowl of the only blueberries we had in the house for me to eat something. I got dressed and we headed to the church. Standing at our 45 minute ceremony was really difficult for me as I felt like I was going to faint the whole time but I distracted myself and stabablized my legs so I wouldnt fall. We got through the ceremony. Getting into the party bus the pain started to worsen and we almost just went straight to the venue instead of going to a set place to take pictures. We took as many as we could and I hate 98% of them because my face looks like I was in pain. We were suppose to take more picture with a backdrop of NYC but I told the photographer that I just couldnt do it. Everyone in the wedding party was extremely worried for me and my health. I felt selfish and mad at myself and the doctors for not figuring out what was going on. We got to the venue and we went into the bridal suite. My husband stood by myside trying to help me and to get some food in my stomach but my appetite and nausea was at a peek. I started to have a panic attack and asked my MOH to upzip my wedding dress and upclip the bustier inside. I layed there drank lots of water and tea.
We eventually got introduced and when the music started playing my adrenaline took control and I danced as much as I could. Something took over me and took the pain away for a few minutes so I could at least enjoy that part of our wedding. Maybe my grandmothers were looking over me.
We sat down for dinner. I couldnt eat and we had bought a bottle of Dom Perignon that only my husband drank and I had a sip. The rest we gave to guests at the end of the night because I just couldnt drink alcohol because I didnt want to irritate my stomach or body in anyway. Dinner passed and so did the speeches. I took a medication that my doctor gave me to help stop the symptoms but also caused me to become very tired but I took it anyway because I figured I’d rather be tired then be in pain anymore at this point. (Not sure why I didnt take it earlier but a lot was going on that day.)
We also missed our opportunity to go on our honeymoon. We got to the airport even though I felt sick but the tickets were paid for and I didnt want to waste this opportunity. I had ruined already so much for my husband and I wanted to do this for him. We got onto the plane and again the symptoms got even worse. My husband suggested I take Gravol for the nausea and the gravol lowered my blood pressure significantly. We got off the plane and the airline called 911. I was on a bed at the gate with everyone looking at me. It was really embarassing. The airline then put me on a medical no fly list as I was a liability to them.
I have a hard time everyday reliving that day and it hurts A LOT. I put so much time and effort into that day and I wanted it to be perfect for my husband and I. I feel like I ruined it for my husband and I feel like I ruined it for myself but there was nothing I could do. I don’t know how to move on from this. It keeps me up at night. It’s been 8 months since we got married. I’ve talked about this over and over with my husband and he just doesnt know how to help me get over it. He tried so much. Just recently we finally figured out what was wrong. Literally 1 year after it started I finally starting feeling better. My husband would tell me over and over that he wished he could take the pain away from me just for an hour or a day to give me some relief. It was really really hard. I feel like I may need to see a therapist over this or something.
(Edit) Also forgot to add that I didnt get to have a bachelorette party as it was cancelled both times because I for feeling so crappy. :o( Another experience down the drain.
Post # 3
Now that you’ve got an idea of what’s going on, I think you should start planning an awesome party. You could go as far as to renew your vows, but seriously — you need to have an amazing party!!! You have so much to celebrate — an awesome husband, a new understanding of what the HECK was going on, the fact that you got married, that it was sunny today, etc. Throw yourself a party!!!
Post # 4
That is a whole bunch going on…. it sounds like you have Fibromyalgia….. Pray all goes well….. even though you didnt have the wedding you wanted, try to look for the positives from teh day and like the other poster said… plan a kick butt 1 year anniversary party. Hope you are feeling better.
Post # 5
You found the cause of the problems, and it’s getting better – that’s wonderful! And you managed to make it through the day, which is seriously impressive. You’re a year in, so plan an awesome vow renewal and party. It’s not about the day, it’s the meaning of it. Better and worse, sickness and health, which clearly applies to you both. You’ve got a great husband, celebrate how far you’ve come together!
Post # 6
I am so sorry you were through this. I think, rather than contemplating whether you might need to see a therapist, you should just find a therapist now. If you haven’t been able to get over this in 8 months, despite talking about it with your loving and supportive husband, don’t waste any more time. Go now. It’s common to need some professional help to get past difficult things, and what you experienced definitely counts. Get some help so that you can feel better emotionally!
Post # 7
@peachacid: Throw a party? With friends and family or just us? Our families live in two different countries so getting everyone together would be impossible. 🙁
Post # 8
@creeative1: Our one year it getting here so fast. I spent so much time sick that the month flew right by! Crazy how fast just flew right by.
Post # 9
@creeative1: It wasnt Fibromyalgia. It was something else but I just dont want to discuss it on the internet. :o/
Post # 10
@Lepidoptera: glad you’re doing better.
Don’t beat yourself up over ruining anything for your husband. It is not your fault that you were sick. I’m sorry you went through this.
Post # 11
@Jijitattoo: I think you’re right. I wish I could just flip a switch and get rid of this horrible feelings of guilt and anger. 🙁
Post # 12
@Lepidoptera: honestly? Throw a party with whoever can make it! Make it lighthearted, ensure a few key people are there (whether they’re friends or family or both, send one or 2 happy snaps to the rest) renew your vows, do your hair however makes you feel pretty, put a few flowers in it, wear any white dress that you feel cute in, drink dance & eat good food (even if it’s sausages on a BBQ) all night. Recreate those amazing memories, minus the pressure. It will be EXACTLY what you need. Please keep us updated! & best of wishes with your health I’m glad you’re on the mend
Post # 13
Whole lots of things going on here.
First, I’m glad you’re doing better
Second, I’m glad you’ve got such an awesome husband who is being so supportive.
Third, your wedding day is over. It didn’t go as you planned. And that sucks. It really does. You won’t get that day back. And you have a right to greive for that loss. But then you really just have to get over it. Because there’s nothing else to do but live your life. Your healthy life. When you think of your wedding, try to think of the positive things. Getting bonded to the man you love. The dancing. Being surrounded by family and friends. Make an active decision to focus on the good and try to not think about the bad. But most of all, just try to move forward. There may not be another wedding. But there will be plenty more amazing days for you and your husband. Focus on that. And take this opportunity to really appreciate your health and the experiences that you can have moving forward.
Post # 14
My heart hurts for you! I hope that you find out what is wrong soon, and in the meantime it sounds like you have a pretty wonderful and supportive hubby to help you through. Congrats on your new marriage by the way.
Edit I just re read that you have figured it out now. You guys should have a honeymoon to celebrate now that you’re starting to feel better- you deserve it !!
Post # 15
You may not have had the wedding you wanted, but it definitely sounds like you have a great marriage and husband!
Post # 16
@JenGirl: I feel like I put so much pressure on myself to make that day so perfect and excatly what we wanted. So much money being spent so much time put into it so much thought to make our day so special. I feel like the whole idea of being a bride put so much pressure on me and it still does till this day. Like I didnt live up to that expetation what so ever.
I am SO happy I married my husband. He’s honestly the reason why I’m healthy today. He stood by myside made sure to help me get rid of that guilt even for just a moment. It just hurts a lot. And now of course im crying. 🙁 I dont want anyone to feel bad for me. I just want to know how to get rid of this anger and guilt. Thank you for your comment though. You are 100% correct. I can’t change anything from that day.