Post # 1
I’m not even sure this is the right board to post on… DH and I have been married for over a year and a half. We decided to TTC at the beginning of this year, I got pregnant and had a miscarriage at 6 wks at the beginning of April. I was an emotional disaster for a few weeks, mother’s day was extremely difficult, etc. But now I just feel depressed. My 2 best friends moved out of state earlier this year, so I also feel alone and like I don’t have anyone to connect with /distract me from not being pregnant. We want to TTC again soon, but I’m honestly so scared about getting pregnant again..
I’m sure this is “normal” but I’d love to hear from other moms who have had a miscarriage and how you cope..
Post # 2
joleegirl: I’m so sorry for your loss. There are a lot of us on these boards who can empathize with what you are going through. Everyone handles situations differently. I didn’t bounce back as quickly as I thought I would from my m/c, and felt pressure from friends/family who minimized my feelings by going on about how “common” miscarriages are. That may be true but it’s different when it happens to you.
I got pregnant on our second cycle trying. my husband and I were over the moon excited! I couldn’t believe how “easy” it was for me, given that I’m over 35 and had never been pregnant. I miscarried at 6.5 weeks, while on vacation with my husband’s family. It was awful. I spent the next couple months in a haze of tears and confusion.
No one can dictate for you how to heal from your loss, but my advice is to continue doing things that make you happy. I drank wine and watched bad reality shows! when we did start TTC again, I would buy an expensive bottle of wine for my husband and I every month I wasn’t pregnant. It sounds silly but it was our little way of enjoying our married life with no kids while we had it!
I hope that you find a way to heal and when you do start TTC again that you have a smoother ride!
Post # 3
joleegirl: I’m so, so sorry for your loss. I found out I was pregnant in April, but then found out in May (at 7.5 weeks) that I had a blighted ovum. It has been really tough on me as well. This was my first pregnancy, and even though we got pregnant on our 3rd cycle, we wanted a baby for a long time.
I agree with PP who said to keep doing things that you enjoy. I’ve also found it helpful to find ways to remember the baby we lost…two of my friends sent me plants which we are planting in our garden as a little memorial, and I’ve also been journaling a bit.
It definitely helps to have people to talk to who are going through the same thing. There is a great TTC after miscarriage board here…not sure if you’ve joined yet, but it might be a good place to get some support, even if you are not quite ready to TTC yet.
Sending you hugs.
Post # 4
joleegirl: I’m so sorry you had to go through this. It’s sad and it sucks. There’s nothing I can say to make the pain go away but it eventually gets better with time. I know for me personally my mc makes me appreciate my current pregnancy that much more. I’m pretty open when it comes to discussing my mc with friends/family. When everyone is asking me what I’m doing for the nursey or if I’ve registered yet I tell them no but in time, right now my focus is on making sure me and the baby are healthy, all the other not so important “things” will be done eventually – no rush. Take care of yourself.
Post # 5
I’m so sorry. I was in a similar situation. Pregnant in July (so almost a year ago) and miscarried at 7 weeks. The same day I found out I actually was pregnant. The wave of emotion that day was indescribable.
To be honest, I still have trouble coping. We started trying even before we were married, but “officially” started more than 2 years ago. After a year, I told the doctor, and she found that I may have PCOS and immediately I began trying to correct it. I have had test after test, to ensure I was capable of conceiving, an HSG, bloodwork out the ying yang, acupuncture, body talk, suppliments, etc. And then all of a sudden, I was pregnant! I couldn’t even believe it. All these years, I thought I would never be able to carry a baby, and I finally found out I could. No more than 5 hours later, I miscarried and I still think about it daily. I have not been fortunate to become pregnant again, but now that I know it’s possible, I’m never giving up.
Take as much time as you possibly need to heal. Wait until you and your SO feel ready to try again. My DH was just as heartbroken as I was/am, and I know it has been difficult for him as well. Cry. I still cry…it’s very healing. I went to a fertility yoga session over the weekend and it was beautiful. Meditate, relax, keep your life as stress free as possible.
Post # 6
I had a miscarriage at about 8 weeks. I got pregnant soon after and she is now 6 :-). Early miscarriages are very common. After only 1, there is no reason to think you can’t have a healthy, normal pregnancy. I am not downplaying your MC (I had one too and was very sad when it happened), but I want to give you hope that you can have a great outcome after a m/c….
Post # 7
BrideEleven: Magpie86: xdaydreams05x: Ryansgirl: Mrs.Sawyertobe:
thanks ya’ll.. its encouranging to know i’m not alone. Healing takes time, probably more time than i think…
Post # 8
joleegirl: I still think about my LO six months on. I’m terrified of not being able to get pregnant again and if I do, of losing it. It has affected my relationships with family and friends because they just want me to get on with it. I think you have to listen to your body and your feelings. Nobody can tell you how you should be feeling or when you should recover. You will heal in your own time. I tried again after 1 month but it’s only in the last couple that the fog has lifted. You will get there in your own time. There’s a TTC after miscarriage thread on the TTC boards. It’s definitely worth checking out.