- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
I got engaged last June and my fiance and I set a date a few months later. This past Christmas one of my bridesmaids (and very close friends) got engaged, and she quickly set a date for about a month before mine and asked me to stand up with her. Now, shes esentially planning a big wedding in 7 months so she’s been turning to me for a lot of help with planning (which I am HAPPY to do, love to plan) and advice on general wedding things.
She and I have really different taste so I never worried about telling her in detail what I’m planning for my wedding, and hello! she’s IN my wedding, so she needs to know the details, BUT… she’s started taking my ideas.
It started with the bridesmaid dresses. I let my three maids pick their own gowns, and they all fell in love with the same dress. In fact, she liked it so much she called to ask me how I would feel if she used the same dress in a different color for her wedding. This honestly didn’t bother me, so I said yes and we all ordered them. Then, she asked me what I was planning on doing for bridesmaid bouquets, so I told her. Guess what? She thought it was a great idea and is using it too (ombre bouquets getting progressively lighter with each bridesmaid who walks down the aisle, in case you were wondering). I didn’t fault her too much for that because it’s all over pinterest and the bridal mags and she has more maids than I do.
Then I sent out my save the dates, which had a custom heraldry crest on them that a friend/artist created for me and my fiance. She ooohed and aaaaahed and created (herself, in Microsoft Word or something) her own crest, turned them into magnets, and sent them out as HER save the dates. It doesn’t look anything like ours (outside of being a crest with our last initials in it), but I was a little taken aback. My fiance was straight up “WHY IS SHE COPYING YOU?” but I didn’t say anything because what could I say? She didn’t run it past me and I only saw it when she mailed it to me.
But now, she’s planning her honeymoon. And don’t ya know, she wants to go to the exact same city and stay in the exact same hotel that my fiance and I already booked and paid for before she even got engaged. It makes me feel AWKWARD. We put a lot of thought into our honeymoon and it’s a very special place for me, personally, that I’ve been waiting to share with my fiance. And she knows that I’ve been there before so she’s asking me tons of questions about it.
Granted, they haven’t decided yet, but is it unreasonable that I don’t want them to honeymoon in the same spot as us? They’d be returning just two weeks before my wedding, and every cell in my body is sighing “please… no…” but I don’t know what to say to her! Is there anything I even can say?
I feel like I’ve let the other details go and learned my lesson that if something is really precious and special to me I just won’t tell her about it, but she’s know where we’re honeymooning for months! Argh, I just feel so… blah and sad.