Post # 1
I just saw the thread asking if anyone was getting cosmetic surgery done before their wedding and I was astonished to see how many responses there were and how many people were really excited about it or looking forward to it or wanted it.
Now people have different opinions about things and that’s fine. Plenty of people are really Christian or religious and I’m an atheist. Some people want to wait until after they’re married to have sex and I support having a slutty period to really figure out what you like and feel confident.
I in no way want to judge the people who are having or have had cosmetic surgery done as long as it works for them. If that’s what makes them happy, then so be it.
That being said, the idea that so many people really want cosmetic surgery to “fix” things that aren’t medically necessary at all makes me sad. I mean, I can see wanting a breast reduction if you’ve lived your whole life with crazy F cups and you’re in back pain all the time. Maybe you’ve got a deviated septum or a cleft lip and palate. Makes sense to get those corrected. I can even understand that maybe you lost a hundred pounds five years ago and you’ve got lots of extra skin now that just doesn’t look right for the person you are now. I’ve seen all this and it all makes sense.
However, when you get into breast implants and liposuction and botox and the like, I get disheartened. I know most people say they’re not getting it done for other people but are doing it for themselves and to make themselves happy. And if that’s what makes you happy then so be it.
What I wonder, though, is how did they get to the point where they feel that they need cosmetic surgery to be happy with themselves? Is it societal pressure? Movies, TV, magazines, and ads everywhere pushing the same unattainable image of the perfect woman even though throughout history each societies standards of beauty have varied wildly?
I think it just makes me sad when I think about how many people out there just can’t accept and love themselves. I mean not that you all haven’t heard this before and don’t think it yourselves from time to time, but cosmetic surgery got me really down this morning.
Damn it, ladies, you’re all beautiful! Can’t you all just take my word for it? Why isn’t that good enough?
Post # 3
@scottsouth: I agree with you to a point. When I was in my early 30s, it was really unthinkable that I would ever want cosmetic surgery. But then I had two kids and my boobs are ruined. I don’t want them bigger, just lifted back up a little. I don’t want them bigger, I just want them back to pre-baby cuteness. I’m really self-conscious about them but my husband tells me that they’re fine, so I can see your point that I should just accept that this is my body.
Also, I’m in really good shape and my perfect weight. Yet I have the worst bat-wing upper arms and it’s getting worse each year (I’m 44). It’s just depressing that my arms should be so bad when everything else looks good. So I think more and more about having that fixed. And this is something that other people definitely notice because they look so out of place on my body.
Lastly, I have good skin and not many wrinkles but I’m finally getting those fine forehead lines and they are getting more prominent by the minute. I don’t want to erase every wrinkle and line, I just want to look a little better. Still my age. But better.
I can accept a little cellulite, a few spider veins, etc. But I don’t see anything wrong with doing a little maintenance on areas that are really bothersome. I definitely think there is a balance. And BTW, if you’re still in your 20s and 30s you won’t really understand till you get here. I know I didn’t. lol
Post # 4
@PutABirdOnIt: I see what you’re saying. I’m 30 and I don’t know what will happen when I get older. 40s, 50s, 60s? Who knows how I’ll look. I want to say that we all get older and it’s just life and whatever. Go with it. I want to think that I’ll just accept aging with nonchalance, but you’re right I don’t know what will happen. I might change my tune later. We’ll see.
But, some of these girls who talk about it aren’t old yet. They aren’t even out of their 20s yet.
Post # 5
The sad fact is that men usually age better than women, and I see nothing wrong with trying to help things out if they’re needed/wanted. In my 30’s I always thought it was insanely vain for someone to go through such drastic measures, but I also know that being unhappy with yourself and certain things about your appearance is important. Many people obsessively work out at the gym to stay in top shape because it makes them feel better both physically and emotionally, and cosmetic surgery can also have the same effect.
I have a problem with people who go too far with it, but who am I to judge?
Post # 6
@scottsouth: Your a man, right (I assume by your display pic and username)? I think aging is different for men and women. Society is more forgiving to mens’ aging, and men tend to look good with a few years on them (There is something alluring about a dashing older gentleman ;)), where as the perception of beauty thrown onto women is cramped into looking as youthful as possible.
I don’t think anyone needs an excuse or needs to jusfity anything they want to do to their own bodies. If the outside thinks it’s “sad” that they would modify themselves “unnessisarily”, so be it. I have no desire at this point in time for any kind of plastic surgery, but I don’t have a bad opinion of it.
Post # 8
i’m cool with it.. haven’t had any done but i’d totally get botox so i don’t make angry face in the sun, ps i’m 26
Post # 9
Also, I don’t mean this to be a personal attack on anybody. I don’t want people to come here and feel that they have to defend themselves or explain why they had anything done. You do what works for you and your life.
Again, I’m not trying to judge, I just wonder why so many people want it and what causes that desire. Plus I wish more people were happier and it saddens me that so many people feel they have to change themselves to make themselves happy.
Post # 10
Scott, you are right. There is a lot of pressure on us to be perfect. Everywhere we look there are pictures of perfect ladies with perky breasts, flat stomachs, and no cellulite. I am a fairly attractive lady in my mid-twenties. I try to remember that these are unrealistic expectations, but honestly, it’s really hard sometimes. I am pretty fit and at a healthy weight, but I’m freaking out because it’s swimsuit season and I have cellulite and (I just learned this because I was reading about cosmetic surgery!) a “banana bump” under my butt at the top of my thighs. How unattractive does that sound?. This is a genetic thing and no amount of exercise and weight loss is going to make it go away, unless I become anorexic or something. I hate it and I feel so hideous whenever I wear a bathing suit. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only woman with this particular feature, and that makes it even worse. I just want to cry! Does any culture find cellulite attractive? I doubt it. Do most women have it? Yes.
I have a lot of guy friends, and one of them is really shallow. The reason he was most upset about his last breakup was that he didn’t think he’d be able to find anyone else with as good of a body! Being around people like that is really tough, too. In my head, all men are like that and they are looking at me and thinking “gross.”
I try to fight these things and think, FI thinks I’m beautiful. Lots of other men have said so (I’m not trying to brag here). . . but then I just think how these other guys haven’t seen me naked, and imagine them feeling duped or something if they did.
Sometimes the urge to be perfect is just so great that liposuction seems like a good idea. Finally, I could feel truly confident and beautiful! Finally, I wouldn’t be grossing people out every time I go to the pool! I could strut my stuff, and I’d be the happiest ever. I have to fight back with, “You’re fine the way you are. You’re human. You are healthy and fit. Imperfections are part of life.” Then I think about paintings of “beautiful women” from a few hundred years ago (such as those by Peter Paul Rubens) and wonder why I couldn’t have lived back then, lol.
Post # 11
Hey Scott! I appreciate your post, it actually made me a little happy. I was one of the girls that posted over there, and while I posted that there are things that I would love to change about myself through surgery, it still kindof makes me sad that I feel that way. Haha. I know that makes no sense. I, myself, am 30, and over the past ten years I’ve had 10 medically necessary surgeries. One was for a deviated septum (no outward alterations to my nose), but the last one, which was 3 weeks ago, was a breast biopsy/lumpectomy. This made me stare at myself. A lot. And I became very insecure, especially with having to show myself off to all of these strangers through all the exams I had before surgery. In all honesty, I was not that secure to begin with, but this recent surgery, and brand new scar, has made me feel completely inadequate and awful about myself. Granted, I count my blessings every day since then that I do not have cancer. My scar is healing well, and everything is pretty much back to normal on the outside. But with all the things I’ve HAD to do for my many surgeries, I sometimes feel like cosmetic surgery would regain control over my own body. It’s not even so much for the physical change, but the mental/emotional idea of having some sort of say as to what my body goes through.
As a side note, I’m not actually having any plastic surgery, and have never. I won’t lie and say that I haven’t thought about it, especially recently, but FI says he’s happy the way I am.
Sorry for the long story!
Post # 12
Awwww, well that’s very sweet of you to say. Women have been using cosmetic surgery for a decent amount of time now (Marilyn Monroe nose job?!) but it’s now widely available and not as taboo.
I’m kind of on the fence occasionally, because cosmetic surgery can be a negative. However, even if I think it’s a negative thing, if the person who got it thinks it’s a good thing…well… I will have to agree with them because I think I should validate the feelings of the person who has to live with the consequences more than my own.
For me and my plastic surgery desires. I’m getting a nose job. Point blank. I’ve wanted one since I was around 8 or 9. It was back in the mid 90’s when I realized I wanted and needed a different nose. This was before the huge cosmetic surgery craze. The fact is there is a HUGE chance I will be more physically attractive if I had a new nose that was smaller and shaped better. For me it really is simply wanting a prettier face.
Also, the poster above me has another point. I too have many many scars from surgery including one that runs vertically down the middle of my stomach. It measures about 12-13 inches. Next to it is a diagonal one about 4 inches long that is indendted due to a serious infection. I would pay anything to have these things gone. It is from some very traumatic medical experiences that nearly killed me. It’s from a disease that is going to try to continue to kill me. I don’t need to see these physical scars everyday to have this sickness and past trauma on my mind. I already think about it too much.
Post # 13
@scottsouth: I love this post and agree with you 100%. Nice to see a man that thinks that way! 🙂
Post # 14
@FutureMrsSitler: Thanks! Ask around, though, and I bet you’ll find that many men think this way.
Post # 15
@scottsouth: I totally agree. There are definitely areas of my face and body that aren’t perfect, and that I fantasize about being “fixed.” But it makes me sad, as well, that it’s not ok in our society to just age normally, and that looks are so important to us as a society that we will have invasive, painful, expensive procedures just for cosmetic reasons.
I want to be clear – I don’t think anyone who is having cosmetic surgery is necessarily wrong to do so. Our society IS looks-obsessed, esp. for women, and it’s certainly been shown that there’s age discrimination, etc. It might be a materially or professionally smart move to do it. But it still saddens me that this is the case.
Post # 16
I know that my body isnt “perfect” atleast not according to media standards, but honestly no one is “perfect” either. I find it very sad that its so acceptable and normal to just book surgeries for people to fix their bodies especially very young women. Maybe its because I’m christian but I would never have selective surgery for purely cosmetic reasons unless it was to correct an abnormality