Weddingbee boards
I don't know the cost because I paid for their dresses ($40 Braja dresses), their bouquets and jewelry. All they had to do was show up!
As a bridesmaid, I have never paid more than $150 for a dress. Shoes usually run around $40 bucks. I didn't complain about it...but I probably would have if it was much more than that.
My cousin picked out a dress that is $156, not including alterations. She just said to wear black open-toe shoes, which luckily I have in heels and in flats. I haven't gone to try on the dress yet, but I'm hoping I don't need alterations, which may be naive, but I would like not to spend more than $200.
I am telling my BMs to get a hot black dress and sexy black shoes. This way everyone will look awesome and they will be spending money (if they dont already have these things) on items that can be worn again.
I dont know about with alterations but my BM dresses for my wedding were $145. The other 3 weddings I was in was $80-$140. I would be upset paying $200 for a dress, I think $150 and below is a reasonable amount (not including alterations)
I think it is always a good idea to poll your bridesmaids and see what they expect the expenses to be and then if you choose something more expensive than what they feel is fair, then pay the difference. I paid for my girls dresses as they were off the rack, and they were soooo grateful. The other thing to always consider is if they are having to cover travel expenses, in which case a $200 dress would definetly seem high.
wow that's a lot for the past brides to ask you to pay! you were a great friend!! are those women your bridesmaids? if so errr... never mind... disregard. i think that 200 is the right amount to ask, however in your circle of friends expectations may be different. I agree with pugsandkisses on the poll.
Good luck!
I was in one wedding a few years ago and paid $175 for my dress before alterations. I'll be in 2 in the next 8 months, however, and my dresses for both of those are in the low $200s before alterations. I think it really depends on where you live and the lifestyles of your friends and family. If any of us were getting married a few years ago when we were still in college, this definitely would've been more of a stretch. Now that we're all establishing careers (albeit low-paying since we're all musicians), it's more feasible to spend $200 on a dress. Both of the brides are allowing their BMs to choose a dress from a set of styles/fabrics and wear their own shoes, so I'm sure I'll wear both dresses again and won't be out more money for shoes.
Wow! The "cheapest" bridesmaids dress that I have purchased was a $275 J Crew dress and it had to have about $100 dollars worth of alterations along with $75 shoes! I don't really consider J Crew to even be a bridal boutique either! And as we all know anything with the words bridal in it has a huge mark up in price!
My bridesmaids are getting their dresses custom made for $225, so there won't be any need for alterations. Also, it was my desire to pick out a dress that wasn't too "bridesmaidy" so that they could wear it again. I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna require them to all buy the same shoes. Most of them should already have a pair that would look good with the dress. I guess I'm just trying to be as understanding as possible and keep the costs down.
@Tulip-- I never thought of how custom dresses would nullify the need for alterations! That probably winds up cheaper than a $150 bridesmaid dress from a boutique. Ingenious!
I just paid $260 for a dress for a wedding at the beginning of the summer. Luckily I didn't need alterations! But I still had to buy shoes, pay for make-up and shower stuff, which all set me back a pretty penny. But it's the dress that she wanted (and it was pretty cute even if I never get a chance to wear it again)
The dress for another wedding that I was in cost so much that she subsidized the cost to us. I think I ended up paying $160-$180, but I'm sure glad I didn't have to pay for the whole thing! You
The third time I was a BM I paid $180 + $45 alternations + shoes. That time was a little annoying b/c she said she would keep the costs around $150....
So my one suggestion is just don't tell your BM one thing and then end up making them pay more.
i'm in a wedding soon and the dress is $200, but my friend was very nice and paid $50 for me. alterations were $50 (i took it away from the bridal store) and she let us where whatever shoes we want, but they aren't a color most people have, so that's new shoes too. that's all a bit high, considering i'll still have to pay $130 plus tip for hair and make up and presents, and bachelorette party and shower. i love her, i'm happy for her, but it's her big day, not mine, i shouldn't have to go broke for it.
my girls are picking their own dresses, my mom bought my sil's and my sister's was $30. no alterations because they're from department stores, and they can wear whatever shoes they want.
Besides the cost of a dress and shoes don't forget about the other expenses your bridesmaid incur by being in your wedding! I spent $1,000 to be in a friend's wedding one time. The alterations cost as much as the dress, she made us buy $90 shoes and then we threw her a shower, an elaborate bachelorette party, purchased gifts for every event, and got our hair/makeup/nails done on the day of the wedding. I think the reason brides try to keep the cost of the dress and shoes down is because there are so many other costs the bridesmaids pay for! Good luck!
I tried having the girls pick out their own different dresses at whatever price they wanted... didn't work.
So now I will go the traditional BM dress route and definitely keep it under $150. I'm trying to involve them as much as possible in the dress selection process so they don't have to drop all that money on a dress they hate. I'll let them pick out their own shoes and jewelry so they can wear something they already have. I'm also hoping to not need alterations, so I may pick something with a sash or waist band to help it fit without alterations. I don't really like the idea of making the BMs pay more than they would have paid if they were just a guest.
Wow...those have been some expensive dresses! My BM dresses are from J Crew, so they range from 120-160 (depending on which style they chose...I let them select which one is most flattering on them). I'm probably going to have to make them purchase shoes to match as well, so that will be an added cost, but I'm hoping that I can find some that are relatively reasonable in price!
@laural: i noticed that you were in louisiana, have you checked with pearl's place about purchasing the designer dresses from there?
The most i've paid is $160 for a dress and we got to pick our own shoes. All of my friends are in the same boat as me--none fo us have oodles of money to spend on dresses adn we are all really respectful of that. I would say "no" at a dress over $200 because I need someone to respect that I don't have $1,000+ to spend on their wedding. I just don't have it, plain and simple.
My BM dresses are all under $150 (David's) and some are as low as $80. I'm going to let everyone pick their own shoes (silver) so that they can wear them again.
I think that there is no one answer on how much everything would cost. You need to get a feel for your friends and their comfort level. Personally, I figured that my three bridesmaids like to spend money to get dressed up and would have rather spent more money on a nicer quality dress than less money on a dress they would feel uncomfortable in. They are quite comfortable financially, so I figured they would want me to choose a dress for them of the same price and quality they would have chosen for themselves. Just in case, I whipped out my credit card when we were picking them up and told them I was paying half. Two refused. One accepted. I had my answer.
I think it depends on where you live. Here in NYC, the most expensive (which I'd say is average) dress I've had was $250 from J.Crew. But I know girls who paid $400 for a dress once! I've definitely paid over $1,000 to be in a wedding locally. Hopefully for my girls I'll be able to pay part of the dresses, or something, since my wedding will be out of town!
I feel soooo guilty as a bride asking my bridal party members to spend money on me because of how much I spent on other people's weddings...
The first wedding I was in, the dress was...$200-250 at a bridal salon. I still have the dress, but I've never worn it since because where in the world do you wear a lilac floor length gown? Seriously? i should just donate it to Goodwill and stop dragging it from apartment to apartment. The second wedding I was in, I bought my dress off the rack for $50. I still own that too, but at least I was able to wear that dress multiple times after the wedding, as it just looks like a really nice dress. Just fancy enough to go out to a nice dinner in.
For my BMs, I promised them I'd find them a dress for $100 or less. None of them have good jobs or a lot of money. In fact, I'll probably end up buying the dresses for them, if I can find something inexpensive enough. We can't really afford it, but neither can they. I am hoping, hoping, hoping to find navy knee length sundresses of some sort or another for sale come Spring. If we all had money, I'd ask the girls to get J Crew dresses because I LOVE their dresses! But my colors never seem to hit their sales racks! Booo! My BMs are getting their wedding jewelery as Christmas presents (matching pearl earrings and necklaces). They can wear whatever shoes they want which match with their dresses and our colors (blue, brown, white, red, or green). So I feel they are likely to already have something nice to wear for their feet.
I've never paid less than $200 before alterations and the dresses I think I'm going to pick will be about the same. I could have found something cheaper I'm sure except that they all wanted dresses where they could have different tops that flattered their body type so that limited the choices. DB would have worked except they don't have my color really so I had to go with something else.
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I am wondering where do you draw the line as a BM. I have been in seven weddings and I am now planning my own. I have only had dresses that were picked from bridal stores with coordinating shoes and jewelry. In attire alone I usually spend anything from $400 to $600 with alterations and shoes. For my wedding I am going the traditional route and all of the BMs will be wearing the same dress, shoes, etc. If you don't mind what do you think is reasonable for a dress price from a bridal store. I have been reading weddingbee a good while now and people often complain about paying $200 for a dress with alterations! Maybe I have just been in a really strange set of wedding where everything was twice that expensive.