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It totally depends on the financial situation of each lady in your bridal party on what is "too much." My husband and I make a good living on the one hand but I'm very frugal on the other. I honestly would not want to spend more than $150 on a bridesmaid dress I'll only wear once (although the dress is beautiful, it's still a bridesmaid dress). Are there any other Jim Hjelm options in that color that are lower cost?
Ok first off that is a beautiful dress and I can totally see why you want it. Since you found it online will they be able to try it on though? That is something to think about since it may look very different on them than on the model and you may not like it as much then.
That said I do think that 215 bucks is a lot to ask your girls to spend on a dress that as beautiful as it may be is only getting worn once. Most of the dresses my girls looked at were between 140-180 dollars and we ended up getting dresses that were about 160 when it was all said and done. You also need to keep in mind that these girls are already going to be spending a lot of money to be there for you on your big day. Obviously I am assuming some things but realistically they will probably end up paying for on top of the dress:
a hotel room for the night of the wedding (90-150 bucks depending on the city)
Alterations for the dresses - 25-100 bucks
Shoes and Jewelry if needed - 50-100 bucks
Hairstyling for the day of - 25-50 bucks
Gifts for your shower, bacholorette party, and wedding - probably 125-250 dollars or more
Throwing you a shower and/or bacholorette party - price ?
All I am saying is that if your girls are concerned about the price of the dress, which it sounds like a couple of them are, you need to try and respect that and either pick a different dress or maybe pick up part of the tab and pay say 50-75 dollars of the bill of each of their dresses. Ultimatly it will cost you maybe 200-300 dollars but it may save a lot of hurt feelings and frustration all around, so money well spent!
If ALL your maids are OK with paying that amount than I think it's fine. However, if one or two can't afford it you either have to pick a less expensive dress or offer to pay for a portion of the dress.
The color you picked is very pretty and also very popular right now. Have you tried the department stores?
Also don't forgot that the dress will need some type of alterations. Depending on what it is, the price could range fro $20 to $50 more. If you are asking them to get matching shoes than you are hitting close to $300 per maid. Just some things to keep in mind...
If I were your BM, I wouldn't want to pay $215+shipping+alterations for the dress. I would however, probably suck it up and pay if that's what you really wanted.
For BM dresses I think the less expensive the better (and the more considerate of your BMs).
However, I agree with Habibi- if you really want it, perhaps subsidize the cost for the BMs who aren't willing to spend that much on it?
I think $215 is pretty pricey especially after adding on tax and shipping if you are getting it online. Shipping alone could add on another 15 at least! It is a pretty dress, but I wouldd keep looking and take into cnsideration your BM's budgets and get something closer to 100-150.
If you ask your friend to buy the dress, she may agree just to avoid causing any trouble, but I would tread carefully. She may not say anything to you about it, but she could build up a little bit of resentment that her request to keep the price under $150 was not taken more seriously. (Also, take into consideration if the dress will need to be altered or steamed before the wedding which will add on additional costs.)
I don't know her exact situaiton, but if you ask her to buy the dress and she has other substantial wedding-related costs (travel, lodging, hair, jewely, shoes, etc...) it would be nice if you offered to help offset some of those costs by covering wedding-day hair, or helping her find items to borrow or friends/relatives to stay with.
Also, you could research if other dresses by Jim Hjelm come in the same color but are less expensive than the one you initially picked out. Good luck! (It is a very pretty dress, by the way, and I love the color!)
I chose a Jim Hjelm for my girls, too, that was $220 from the bridal store. I was worried about the price, but thankfully, my girls didn't have a problem with it, because they loved the dress so much. I think it helped that they all got to participate in the dress trying-on and choosing process, so they were able to compare a $150 dress to a $200+ dress. I was surprised at how expensive bridesmaid dresses were. I thought $150 was a common price, but we had very few options in that price range at the stores we went to!
I think that if one of your girls is having a difficult time paying for the dress, you could privately offer to help her by contributing $50 to the dress to bring it down to her price point. She may not take it, and just pay for the dress anyway, but either way, she would appreciate your generosity, I am sure.
I know that seems unfair to the rest of the girls in your party, so I think this would only work if the girl in question has personal financial issues that limit her from spending more on the dress. (she is the only one still in college, she is single and paying apartment rent, she is looking for a job, i.e.).
I honestly don't think $215 is over the top, and you have shopped around for the best offer - you did not just choose the first one you found off the rack. Your concern makes you a good bride and friend.
I would also agree that determining the cost depends on what else the bridesmaids have to pay for. For example, if your BMs are local, they would not have to pay for travel, lodging, etc. It would also be generous if you helped them to pay for other things, such as hair or jewlery if you can afford it. My BM dresses were $255. While that it a little steep, I am paying for their lodging (themselves and dates), transportation for the weekend, most meals, hair, nails and gifting them jewelery. I also let the girls pick which company they wanted dresses from and which dresses they wanted (they chose J. Crew Cotton Cady dresses).
I really think that considering the costs that your bridesmaids will incur in being part of your wedding that you should purchase the dress for them.
Think about it like this - depending on their financial situation they can decide how much to spend on every other expense (how expensive of a gift, whether to rent a hotel, how much to spend on the shower/bachelorette) so they can purchase what is comfortable for them. However if you pick the dress and it is out of their range they will have to pay for it (as who is really going to say "no!") and this is not a burden I would want to put on my best friends.
So find a way to put it in your budget. I bought my wedding dress and veil online second hand so that I could afford to buy my girls everything they need to wear on my big day and I know they appreciate it :)
Try contacting Here Comes The Bridesmaid -- it's a store in NYC. I got my girls' dresses there for a ridiculously cheap price and the customer service was excellent.
Their website is www.bridesmaids.com
I was worried about prices and wanted to keep it under $150. I wound up coming in under that!
If you think $150 is reasonable then you could pay the difference. Just tell the girls the price is $150 and subsidize the remainder! I am biased though - that is what I did :) I didn't like any of the dresses I could find at a price point my girls would think was reasonable, so I went with the dresses I loved and they paid about 2/3 of the total price. I also paid for hair, makeup and 1 night in a hotel so their total costs were the dress, the second night in the hotel, alterations and the bach party. No shoes, jewelry, bags required :) No shower.
I with Janna19. Are you planning on getting your girls bridesmaid gifts? Why not pay for part of thier dress instead. In some places (Hawaii) it's expected for the bride to pay for the bridesmaids dresses, but that bridesmaid gifts aren't usually expected though either. I say have them pay $150 (or whatever amount you can all agree on) and you pay the difference.
I agree with Janna19. I plan on subsidizing the cost over 200 for my ladies. They love the dress, so I feel comfortable doing that.
I agree with Janna19 - I would look for a dress that I liked as much that might be less expensive, or just give all the girls enough money to make the dress cost them $150. Or, you can try to call the bridal store and ask them to charge it to your card and when your bridesmaids come in they will only have to pay $150 (I did something similar to that).
You might also want to check that your bridesmaid who wants to stay in the $150 range knows what she's getting into. As Bridediy pointed out, alterations can add a significant amount to the cost, and that $150 dress can quickly become $250. I am the first of my friends to get married and I still have no idea how much alterations will be!
Thanks everyone for your imput.
The girl in question that has a probelm with the dress is out of school and actually is pretty well off but she's been in 3 weddings this past year already and has been paying $160-250 for her other bridesmaid dresses. That's why now she only wants to pay up to $150. So she is no stranger to this whole process. The other one that hasn't gotten back to me just hasn't gotten a chance to check her email for the link.
I have found other dresses that I would consider and have sent them to all the girls and no one will agree on anything. And the girl that doesn't want to pay over $150 keeps complaining they all look cheap. (But that's cuz they are cheap at $115-140)
I'm still not sure what I should do...but I do appreciate all your advice!!!!
I agree that it depends on each girl's financial situatuon. What's a lot to me might be completely different to another bride. In general, anything around 100 dollars will be looked at as "affordable". What if you contributed a portion of the dress for each bridesmaid? That way they would see that you are conscious of the cost issue. Good luck! I lovvve Jin Hjelm bm dresses~!
Did you try netbridedotcom? They can get the dresses for cheaper doubt that they can get it down to 150 but you can get it cheaper and then help them pay for the dresses that way it could be a little less out of your pocket.
I have my girls in Jim Hjelm dresses around the $250 range but I had them order through the shop where I bought my dress so they gave 30% off the BM dresses. The girls seemed happy with the price. If your bridal shop sells the line I would definitely ask about a discount for your maids.
If one of the maids really put the top of her budget at 150, respect that. Subsidize the cost or pick a new dress. I know in the whole scheme of a wedding budget 250 doesn't seem like much, but for most people that's 2 days of work. I definitely understand the maid's concerns.
Personally, I think that that is a lot to spend on a bridesmaid dress. All of my bridesmaid dresses hang in a closet and I will never wear them again.
Because of that, I am trying to be really sensible with my bridesmaid dresses. I found some really cute ones at a local store for $60.00.
Dress_Back.jpg (11.5 KB, 174 downloads) 2 years old Dress_Front.jpg (11.1 KB, 103 downloads) 2 years old
Try netbride.com. One of my bridesmaids picked that same dress and it was less than $175 when we ordered from there (though I can't remember the exact price).
This may be impossible, but I would suggest having your bridesmaids try on the dress before making the final decision. You may find that the girl who wants a $150 cap falls in love with the dress, or at least appreciates how expensive it is when trying it on next to the dresses she finds "cheap" looking.
On the other hand, you may find that you don't actually like the dress that much in person. I was also in love with a Jim Hjelm dress (two of them, in fact), but once my maids tried it on, they found one to be incredibly unflattering and the other to feel, actually, quite cheap. Before asking them to pay $215+, make sure it looks good on them!
I don't mean to sound snarky in any way but where are you girls finding bridesmaids dresses for $150? I'd love to find one but have honestly found $200 to be the lowest I've ever paid before alterations for any wedding I've been in. The last one the dress was $180 and I had to spend another $100 on alterations. (I'm in a difficult sizing situation because I am thin but buty so must always order up) I didn't love doing it but I know the bride will do the same for me now that I'm getting married if needed. Now that I am looking myself I've been shocked at the fact that seems to be on the low end (before alterations,
I mean JCrew runs like $250. I consider anything over $200 and up too much but if we are talking $15 I don't think that's too big a deal.
I love the dress you picked. It is beautiful (the color is just what I was looking for and I love Jim Hjelm). I plan to order my girls dresses offline it the store won't give enough of a group discount. I want to keep it at $200 and if it is more I plan on offering to pay it. I plan on paying for their jewelry, make up and hair. I would love to pay for more but that's just not realistic with eight bridesmaids...Good luck.
Honestly that's less than I've ever paid for a bridesmaid dress. Maybe I just have unreasonable friends. Ha. In any case, I agree with previous posters--if you love the dress but are concerned about the price, try to pitch in part of the cost.
That's what I'm doing for my maids--and cutting back other places.
I feel your pain on finding nice, inexpensive BM dresses. I don't want to ask my friends to pay over $150 but everything under that price seems to be cheap, poorly made polyester.
So I'm doing what a lot of others are doing and subsidizing my BM dresses -- or rather, my mom is! She's putting $100 towards the cost of each dress. If you can find room in your budget to do this, it's a great way to make everyone reasonably happy.
If you have your heart set on the Jim Hjelm and can't afford to pick up part of the tab, think about eliminating other common bridesmaids' costs. For example, don't ask them to buy matching shoes or jewelry in addition to the dress.
Thanks for all of your input!
FYI if you go to Modernbridalshop.com (I think that's what it is at least) the dress I wanted was 230 but with a group rate its 195...and free shipping.
I ended up offering to put $50 towards each dress and 2 of them won't let me... (I knew I liked them for a reason!) But everyone seems happy and now I have the dress I wanted since before I had mine :o)
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I am in love with a dress from Jim Hjelm (actually the color Frosted Violet) but I really love the dress too...
I've been able to find it at an online vendor for $215. What do you all think is too expensive to ask of my girls?
I'm having 4 bridesmaids, 2 of which also love the dress, 1 I haven't heard back from yet and the other who would prefer it to be under $150 closer to $100. But said she would if she has to.
Because of that I've been looking at other dresses. None have the same quality look to them or as nice of a color (This color is already in my save the dates and I already bought enough ink to have it in all my invitations as well...I'm goccoing them myself...)
Do you think I should push this dress or do you feel its also too expensive? Here is the link to the dress if your interested:
http://www.jimhjelmoccasions.com/dress_db_occ/display_dress.php?imageno=5772&multimatch=x
This is the color:
http://www.jimhjelmoccasions.com/dress_db_occ/display_dress.php?imageno=5873&multimatch=x