Post # 1
A few people have mentioned to me in an offhand way that we can always upgrade my ring (after asking how much it cost, which I am up-front about because I’m not ashamed that it was an inexpensive ring), which was bad enough, but I’ve gotten some comments like, “Why don’t you have a diamond? Why didn’t it cost more? Doesn’t he love you enough to buy an expensive ring?”
I’m failing to see how the cost of a ring is proportional in any way to the amount of love or commitment in a relationship. I have a decent-sized garnet because I did not want an overly expensive ring (I seriously would have been mad if he spent more than a few hundred on a ring) or a diamond. I think it’s beautiful and I love it, but I don’t get why these supposedly well-meaning individuals can’t just shut up about it. People have also assumed that because it’s not a diamond, the metal is silver–in reality, it’s white gold. But that raises another issue–people around here seem to think that it needs to be at least 14k for it to be a “real” engagement ring. Weird, right?
I think it dates back to the whole “The engagement ring must cost the equivalent of two months’ salary” idea–what do you all think?
And for kicks, here’s a picture of my ring with the wedding band I had custom-made for it. 🙂 Only a month and a half to go until I can wear them together!
Post # 3
I don’t think the two have anything to do with each other AT ALL. And, I think it’s really rude for anyone to say something like that to you. I would have been pissed!
Post # 4
I was more or less in shock that people are that damned rude; I mean, I knew I was bound to get comments when we chose an obviously non-diamond stone, but this is something else. Most people don’t even realize it’s an engagement ring until they ask if it’s my birthstone or something and I correct them, lol.
Post # 5
WOW. how rude is that! I cant believe anyone would actually say that to you. How about all those celebrities that get HUGE diamonds and are divorced 2 months later? That’s what I would respond to those people.
Post # 6
No one tell FI, but I kinda wish I had gotten a cheaper ring. We got a pretty good deal on it and I love it, but I still feel kind of bad since money is tight for both of us. I’m actually helping pay for it (all our finances are going to get combined, anyway).
People are just weird and judgemental. If you keep hearing it, I would just look up the carat sizes of a bunch of celebrities that have broken up. I’m sure theirs are all huge and expensive and most of their marriages have failed, lol.
Post # 7
I think its so funny that people see your ring and don’t assume its an engagement ring. I wear my birthstone ring on my left hand (i got it when i was 16- nobody ever thought it was an engagement ring then) because thats the hand it was sized for. I get asked ALL THE TIME if I am engaged. I’ve been asking by my boyfriend’s coworkers, who should know we aren’t engaged. I’ve been approached by strangers in a bar who were going to hit on me, until they saw the ring. My ring is a peridot with a halo of diamonds. It’s weird that people have such opposite reactions to gemstone rings. I wish people asked me less. It’s embarrassing, especially if my boyfriend is there.
Post # 8
@Statutory Grape: I fail to see any correlation between cost and committment. I think anybody who takes it there has the wrong idea of what love is supposed to be. Just my opinion though.
Post # 9
@jo.lee: LOL, nice. 🙂 At least no one has commented on the size of my ring, good, bad, or otherwise.
Post # 10
No way. I have a ring that’s on the larger side, but I definitely would never think that he loves me more than someone with a smaller ring.
That’s just ridiculous.
Post # 11
ew that’s so obnoxious of people to say that! i would never think that. actually, my favorite engagement ring i’ve ever seen (besides my own ) is this really interesting, artsy looking, non traditional gold ring my friend designed with a jeweler for his now-wife. i think it has some teeny stones in it, but honestly just the thought and care he put into it makes it so amazing. size and cost has nothing on the genuine love behind a ring, which is the only thing that matters imo. my ring’s diamond is from my hubby’s grandmother’s engagement ring, and i always mention that when people ask me about it. dh was worried at first that mentioning that makes him look “cheap” since he only bought the setting, but i think it makes it so much more meaningful.
Post # 12
OMG I am in complete shock that anyone would even say that! The cost of the ring has nothing to do with the amount of the commitment. That is such a materialistic thing to say!
Post # 13
@Krises: I would have been content with just my ring, but the reactions have made it pretty necessary for a wedding band. Plus, I like how it looks.
Man, I’m so jealous of your birthstone…I have boring old aquamarine, so when FH said he wanted to get me a blue stone, I vetoed it–I’ve worn blue all my life!
Post # 14
huh… I don’t see it at all…
I chose my cheap yet very nice ring myself. Because we chose inexpensive rings (under 1000 for my e-ring, my w-set and his w-band); we are about to take our third trip this year, not counting all the romantic weekends we had throughout our first year of marriage.
We wanted to have countless memories of our couple’s lives together before having a family, and just spend quality time together all year. Saving on the rings allowed us to live our dream of travelling and sharing experiences together – for me, this is more representative of our commitment than any piece of metal with a rock ornament… (although I love my rings and often tell him how I like them).
Post # 15
I don’t think you can tell much of anything from the cost of a ring — assuming you can even tell the cost of a ring by looking at it. I can’t tell a diamond from a white sapphire from a cubic zirconia from a moissanite.
At most, you can roughly guess whether or not the couple is doing well financially, but even that’s not a sure thing. The couple may have very little in savings and have bought a very expensive ring on credit or may be very well off and simply prefer plain gold bands.
In fact, one could argue that a less expensive ring signifies a greater eagerness to wed on the groom’s part. He couldn’t wait to save up to buy a more expensive ring — he had to become engaged right away, even if that meant using a relatively inexpensive ring.
Post # 16
I cant believe people have asked you how much your ring costs!!