Post # 1
Just looking for people’s opinions out of curiosity….
Do you think it is more reasonable to cover the cost of your bridal party (dresses, makeup, hair, tuxes) and give them a heartfelt verbal thank you (no gifts)
make your bridal party pay for themselves and buy them expensive thank you gifts?
Post # 3
I would go with option one but with a heartfelt handwritten thank you card instead of a verbal thank you.
Post # 4
I would rather have the expenses paid for and a heartfelt thank you than have to buy a dress I’ll never wear again and get an expensive thank you gift. DH felt the same way, so we paid for our bridal party’s expenses.
Post # 5
yeah, a handwritten note costs nothing. If it is heartfelt, I don’t see why it need only be attached to an expensive gift.
Post # 6
We really didn’t like how members of the bridal party are expected to spend so much to be in a wedding and we didn’t want our wedding to be a financial burden on any of our friends.
I figured a heartfelt note went without saying, and we are covering the dress, jewellery, pashmina, hair, makeup, manicure, and a night at the hotel, but I was told that this was insufficient/unacceptable elsewhere on this site, and especially unacceptable to consider the jewellery a gift. Are we really not doing enough?
Post # 7
I have asked that my bridesmaids pay for half their dress, groomsmen half their suit. We are paying for hair, makeup, nails, shoes, jewellery, hotel rooms and giving them gifts as well.
@Summer_Rose: I think you are doing enough! And I count the girls jewellery as a gift…
Post # 8
@MrsC2013: Thanks. I was seriously beginning to wonder if we needed to rethink bridal party gifts. We have 10 in the BP (5 BM and 5 GM) and we’ve already blown the budget!
Post # 9
If you are covering all of their costs, you are going above and beyond and no extra gifts are needed 🙂
Post # 10
Depends on your bridal party, since they’re your closest you should know them best. However, I do feel the need to add that I don’t think hair or makeup really counts unless the girls have specifically talked about WANTING to have it done professionally – if they’re fine with doing their own hair and makeup, paying to have it done professionally is a gift to you and your wedding pictures, not them.
A couple of my bridesmaids were going through rough times financially when I got married, so I paid for their dresses and just got them a small gift that was inexpensive but meaningful. A couple of them were fine and the wedding wasn’t a financial strain for them at all, they bought their dresses (which were priced around $140) and I bought them a gift, and yes I did spend more on their gifts.
Post # 11
Where I am then it’s a bit different…
– Anything specific you want them to wear, you pay for.
– If you are more flexible (eg please wear a green tie in any shade of green) then they usually pay.
– If you want their hair and makeup done in a special way that only a professional can do, you pay.
– If you’re more flexible about styles etc, they can choose whether to do it themselves or go professional, in which case they pay.
– Gifts/favours are usually smaller in general.
Post # 12
Just asking to prove a point. A lot of brides seem to be putting an asinine financial expectation on their bridal party and using “but I got them expensive gifts” as an excuse. I would turn down any bride who wanted me to pay for half of her wedding.
Post # 13
I always think it’s better to cover the bridal party’s costs if at all possible. Bride’s wedding, bride’s choice, so bride should pay. In fact I don’t like the tradition of the BMs paying, and I suspect it goes back to the time when BMs’ dresses were much simpler.
And that’s what I’d rather as a bridesmaid too.
Post # 14
@Aquaria: the former hands down.
Post # 15
I don’t care how much money I spent, I don’t expect an expensive gift (or any gift) as a thank you. I would appreciate you buying the dress and stuff if it’s in your budget, but I wouldn’t mind buying them myself, since that’s what pretty much everyone I know does/has done.
I also don’t think that a wedding HAS to be a burden on the bridesmaids…that’s what the word ‘no’ is for. And anyone who is close enough to ask you to be a bridesmaid should be close enough to handle you telling them that it’s not affordable for you at this time.
Post # 16
We’re doing a combination – we covered their hair/makeup and wedding jewelry (different for each girl), and they covered their dresses and shoes since they got to choose their own. In fact, most dresses came from Forever 21, so it worked out great! I also got them all gifts for being so helpful and doing what I consider to be a favor. 🙂