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Oh man i read an article about this recently in one of my bridal mags. i will look for it and send you the link tomorrow.
cocktail reception, Ours is starting at 7pm, dancing kicking off at 8.30 we are out the door by 11.15, all guests leave by 12.
However my brother is getting married soon and their having and afternoon tea party, ceremony starting at 1.30 over by 2.30 afternoon tea starts at 3.30 having a marquee and having a jazz band play in the background and then dancing will be sometime inbetween then :) and the bridal party is leaving at 5.30 then going off to tea at a nice restaurant.
I think an appetizer/cocktail or a dessert reception is a wonderful idea!
I especially like the idea of the dessert reception. If you held it later, say at 7pm or so, and warned people in advance then they would have time to eat first.
You could still have wedding cake, a candy bar, or whatever. I heard of someone doing an ice cream sundae reception and I thought that was just a fabulous idea. I think that is eminently doable.
Ok, here is another concern, my entire fiance's side is from NY. Will they be upset because they flew all the way out to MN for a wedding and they don't get a full meal?
Cocktail receptions are great for partying! Just be careful- some can end up being more expensive than a regular reception! You could just have a dessert reception and state that on your invite. Even if your ceremony is at 6 and the reception starts at 7, your guests can still eat a decent dinner before they come and be pumped for dessert with the dancing! Which actually sounds like a TON of fun to me!
Edit- Dont worry about your guests from out of town. Put together a welcome packet with restaurants nearby. Im reminded of the saying, "Those who matter dont mind and those who mind dont matter!" This is YOUR day and you can celebrate it ANY way YOU want!!
well, we're for sure not doing alcohol, both our families are conservative and his parents don't EVER drink. We might do champagne only for toasts, so I wouldn't say it'd be a "cocktail reception", more of a dessert reception... not only that but some of his friends have been asked to leave weddings in the past because of alcohol...definitely don't want that.
sept26 just make sure to have filling foods--carbs and protein, you know? Like you could do a pasta station and then have some cheeses, fruits and veggies, breadsticks and bruschetta/crostini and that would basically be a meal!
Cocktails can be more expensive, but done right, they can be better too--more people up moving around, more dancing, more fun! People don't stay tied to their chairs all night. And no one can judge you for having the party you can afford--they should be happy to celebrate your marriage with you! Good luck!
I think the dessert reception sounds really fun! I think your FI's family will understand that you're on a budget. If they don't want to fly out then they're free to rsvp no. They'll know ahead of time that it's a dessert reception and can make their decision accordingly. But you know, I really don't see that happening. They love the two of you and will want to see you get married. Also, if they really really want a full meal, then they can contribute to the budget. Otherwise, they don't have any room to criticize.
@greenleafmountain, I agree. when my fiance first told his mom that we weren't planning on doing a full meal, she said it was rude since we'll have so many people fly in for the wedding... but I told my fi to tell her that if she wanted to pay for catering, then I'd be happy to have a seated dinner. but they can't help other than the rehearsal dinner, so I hope they won't be too upset...
i think that cocktails and dessert sounds like a blast! and don't discount the morning wedding... brunches with a mimmy (mimosa) bar can be inexpensive too! and look at off days like thurs/fri/monday nights.... there are typically deep discounts for nights other than saturday! if you have your heart set on the cocktails and dessert you might want to add some cocktail apps and do not go over a length of 4 hours... you can always talk to a favorite bar about having it there.... typically cheaper to go that route too!
I think it will be great. I'm also on a strict budget and I'm only having dessert and drinks. I'm planning on having an ealier wedding though. I was thinking having the ceremony at 2 and then the reception to follow. You would then be betwen lunch and dinner. I guess it depends on if you want the dancing all evening or what. But I would take into consideration the people flying in...But...it's your wedding and YOU are the one paying for it! Good Luck!
Ours is a dessert reception as well, and we're having it following our 1:30pm ceremony. We figure that's late enough to ensure that people have eaten lunch, and it won't go late enough that people are expecting dinner. My cousin had desserts only AND dancing, but her ceremony started at 4:00pm (and required people to stop and grab dinner between the ceremony and the reception). I think if you were going for desserts, AND dancing, it would have to be well after dinner-time (maybe a ceremony starting at 6:30 or 7:00?).
We dealt with the 'I travelled all this way for DESSERT?' when we first told people about the reception, but ultimately, if they want to be at the wedding because they love you, they aren't going to care much about what/when they're fed.
Okay so this is what we're planning tentatively:
Ceremony around 1pm, and reception at 2pm. Have a dessert/candy buffet and dancing for 2-3 hours. Then after the reception ends, leave with the wedding party and go to a restaurant reception... because obviously the people we love most and want there most are in the wedding party, and it's cheaper!
what do you think?
I would be very careful about leaving to go to dinner with the wedding party. It can come across as rude to have two levels of guests, and the people who don't go to dinner will feel like they were the second string or something. What you could do is either go off for a fancy dinner just the two of you, or else leave the reception at around 5, but have everyone go and change and then go to your nice dinner at 7 or 7:30, that way it is more separated from the reception. That way, the guests who aren't going to dinner will see it as: "oh, we're just going out to dinner with some people while they're in town" rather than "ok now the important guests get to go to the dinner part of the reception and everyone else should leave."
I think it sounds nice though, and nice work standing up to the naysayers! It's my biggest pet peeve when friends or relatives tell you that you MUST have something at your wedding, but aren't willing to pay for it. Who are they to tell you how to spend your money?
haha yeah. I figure it's our wedding, and I'm paying for the whole thing, I can do it how I want it, right? like I said, if someone wants to pay for a meal, I'll gladly provide a meal...
Hmm I hadn't thought about that, but yeah it could come off as rude. hm. I'll have to think about it. but the separation of the two receptions sounds like a good idea, I mean I would tell only the wedding party about the second reception thing, but I know it'd probably leak out you know?!
but our guests are family and close friends, that's it, so hopefully they'd all understand our predicament.
Yes, it's definitely OK! You just want to make sure that the invitations are clear that it will be appetizers and/or dessert and NOT dinner. I think you could either go a little earlier or a little later than a dinner reception, so people could eat either before or after.
We have a really tight budget as well, but wanted to do a reception. We got a really good deal on a ceremony/reception double venue and we're doing a brunch... which really keeps the costs down. We're getting a full brunch buffet for under $15/head. Another option that my cousin did was a dessert potluck reception. I know some families/people don't like that idea for various reasons, but if you just want to get together to celebrate and not do anything too extravagant its another idea.
You could so get away with doing that. Not everyone is having full sit down meals these days anyway (we're not).
What about having a Park/Picinic/BBQ type reception? Many times you can get a park venue for under $500 and the food for this type of reception would be relatively inexpensive. There are a ton of parks in MSP and most have pavillions or shelters that with a few DIY decorations could be extremely elegant.
i think a dessert reception sounds delicious!
if you think people will be upset with you a meal you could always do a pot luck reception...i've heard great things about them!
do the people who are flying in know that you are doing a dessert/candy buffet only? or are they expecting a full meal. i would not be upset if i knew of it beforehand, but if i didn't i would be. flying is expensive and time consuming these days, so i would let those folks know to expect of a dessert/candy buffet on the invitation so that they can make the choice knowing exactly what to expect.
I am on an almost non-existant budget. I do want to have cake for my friends and family who choose to join us in Las Vegas. At this point, I think (and I change my mind a lot) I would like to bring some gourmet cupcakes to a kareoke bar and that will give my guests the opportunity to drink if they wish, and entertainment for sure!
I think with a little thought and creativity you can get a lot for a little. It is your day, and if people don't like it they certainly can choose not to come.
@judy264 can you message me the article too?
maybe the night before or after have a (self paid) restaurant dinner with all out of towners so they dont feel like it was for nothing
I went to a wedding that was only cake and punch and it only lasted like two hours tops... They didn't dance, but it was still a really nice moment for them... They also only had 5 days to throw it together but it still came out nice, it was both of their second weddings so they didn't want anything fancy.
I think if there were appetisers that it would be a great way to have what you want on a budget.
Hi, I read about dessert and cocktail receptions and a few of the articles I read mentioned having your wedding at in between meal times this way you can avoid havng to serve a full meal and your guests wont necessarily expect to be fed. Two example times stick out in my mind... mid afternoon wedding with the ceremony beginning at 1 and having the reception over by 5 the idea was assuming lunch time is 12 and dinner is 530 or 6 guests wouldnt expect a meal meal.. another time they suggested was a later evening ceremony beginning around 7 and reception ending whenever... again assuming dinner time is around 5 or 6 having a ceremony beginning at 7 forces people to eat before they come thus keeping the costs down!!! Also the article suggested that dessert receptions work best for the evening after guests have had their dinner opposed to serving heavy cakes and desserts in the midafternoon before dinner
I'm hooked on all the wedding shows and I see this all the time. It's completely acceptable. Just make sure your invites indicates "dessert reception" or "cocktail reception". That way people will eat on their own. Google it and I'm sure you'll find tons of ideas on how to word the invite. GO FOR IT! and good luck!
I think your reception is too early to serve dessert but then again its a celebration so it can go any way you want. I wouldn't worry about the out of town guests-they are coming to your wedding because they want to witness your union. (If they are spending lots of money on airfare for a meal--they're the ones with the problem)
I see that your post was a year ago-- what did you ultimately decide to do?
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Okay, so I don't have a definite venue for reception yet because of my budget... my dad keeps saying that I shouldn't have a reception because they're so expensive...and my mom keeps saying we should just get married on a cruise, and do a celebration later because we're so strapped for cash... idk about either idea.. but the only reason I really want a reception so badly is because I want to dance with my hubby and friends!
soo... would it be okay to have a reception with just appetizers/desserts, and then dancing...
and if so, how early/late would our ceremony have to be?
thanks!!