Could really use some advice please.

posted 3 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Sorry to hear you’re going through this. I struggle with anxiety as well and am always reluctant to visit a therapist. Like you though, I’ve made an appointment to talk to a therapist next week to deal with some issues I’m overwhelmed with right now.

I think the key to talking to someone is finding the right therapist for you. Don’t settle for someone you’re not happy with. That said, give the therapist a fair shot – or at least three sessions to see how it goes. The first one will be hard to judge because you’re already battling so many emotions in your head right now.

I went through a terrible bought of anxiety after I broke up with a boyfriend and a week later had all of my belongings stolen when my condo was burglarized. The therapist wrote me a prescription. It read:

Plan one trip.

Exercise daily.

Simple, but effective. The exercise helps you blow off steam and it makes you feel good and the trip gave me something to look forward to. This might not be the solution for you, but the point is, treat yourself well. Take care of yourself. Don’t feel bad for taking some time to figure things out. 

You’re worth it. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
5008 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@LoggerHead91207:  My sister and I both have pretty bad anxiety. It stems from our mother dying suddenly 7 years ago – and it still affects us today.

I tend to have panic/anxiety attacks, for no reason whatsoever. Even just thinking about it makes me feel panicky. I always feel like my throat is closing, my heart starts beating strangely, and I feel dizzy/like I might pass out. 

I have learned to tell myself that everything is fine, nothing is going to hurt me, and distract myself. I also try to exercise daily and to eat healthy and take care of myself. Caffeine makes it way worse so I don’t drink it anymore. I also went to a cardiologist for my heart issues and I have something called premature ventricular contractions, which are totally harmless. I also go to the doctor yearly for a check up, so I dont worry about my health. 

My sister had a harder time, and she went on medication and saw a therapist. There is NOTHING wrong with being on medication. For her, she was on the medication for about a year and the counselor began to see changes in her and suggested she being to wean herself off of it. They did this, and she is currently unmedicated and doing fine, though she does tend to freak out when she’s sick.

Shop around for a therapist that you really like. I always felt more comfortable with women. Also tell yourself that this is her job and she is not going to judge you. There’s always someone who will have had crazier thoughts than you, I promise! Force yourself to do something out of your comfort zone – confess something to someone that you wouldnt normally. I guarantee you they will support you and listen, and that will make the next time easier.

Post # 5
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2005

@LoggerHead91207:  First congragulations on taking the step to make an appoinment! That’s a big one!

My advice to you is to be completely open and honest with your therapist. Tell them that thereapy didn’t work for you before, tell them about your feeling of being judged, tell them that you feel you won’t be able to open up to them. Tell them everything you told us. That you want this to work but how can you open up to somebody that you don’t know? 

Explain your goals to them about wanted to enjoy your wedding day and talk to strangers anxiety free.

Therapy works best when you are 100% open and honest. 

Jus put it all on the table 

Good luck 🙂 

Post # 6
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@LoggerHead91207:  Take your time and find a counselor that you feel comfortable with.  Building rapport with someone you trust is a big part of the counseling relationship because you aren’t going to listen to someone you don’t trust.

As far as dealing with anxiety it has taken me years to learn techniques that work for me.  I learned how to identify my triggers so I cna avoid them when possible.  Then I learned coping techniques to deal with the triggers I can’t avoid.  I still experience anxiety but I have a game plan for dealing with it now.  It’s different for everyone but remember that it takes many months, even years to develop your own techniques for dealing with anxiety.  But seeing a therapist is a great first step!!!

Post # 7
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@LoggerHead91207:  The first step is the hardest, and you’ve gotten that one out of the way by making the appiontment!

Keep in mind that you will not like every therapist and that sometimes personalities will clash, and that it is 100% to get a different provider.  

Post # 8
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

P.S. I started out on meds and then gradually weaned off of them as I learned how to deal with my anxiety better.  After 3 years of intense work on dealing with my anxiety I am finally completely med free!  Sometimes meds are necessary so don’t blow them off immediately.

Post # 11
Member
5008 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@LoggerHead91207:  I totally get the introvert thing. I am fine with talking to new people but I NEED my alone time. I get cranky, upset, and crazy if I don’t get some time to myself. I ended up bawling on the day after Christmas because I was so sick of being around so many people and just wanted to go home and have my own time to myself! 

 

Post # 12
Member
9529 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

First, congratulations on making the appointment! Second, you can’t “make sure” it’s going to work. In fact, setting up unrealistic expectations can be counter-productive. If you don’t click with this therapist, try another. And it will take time. These things always do. But don’t give up. Being able to get your anxiety under control will be worth the effort you will have to put in to get there. And I’ll be sending you warm, fuzzy feelings!

Post # 14
Member
1574 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@LoggerHead91207:  I think it’s great that you made an appointment! I see a counselor, and it’s one of the best things that I do for myself. I do not know how I would be able to funciton without one (seriously). My husband also sees a counselor (he has depression and anxiety, FWIW. His depression can get pretty bad). How can you guarantee it will work? Well, you can’t. And you may need to try out a few counselors before you find one that is a good fit (I know that I absolutely had to, and my husband is dealign with this now). I’ve been with my current counselor for about a year, but it’s a great fit. I saw a woman before my current guy and I could tell half way through the first visit that it just wasnt a good fit. While my husband needs someone who can be a little gentle, I need someone who will call me on my shit and push me ever so slightly. My guy lets me lead where we start the conversation, and has learned when I’m done talking about something for that time. 

Early on, my counselor had me list some goals that I wanted from counseling (one was to learn to deal with my anxiety at work). He helped me look at my goals in a realistic way – so, my anxiety may never go away so to assume in a few weeks I’d have it under control is unrealistic. He does occasionally give me homework to do, and I do it. I also try to journal during the week – I actually set aside time for it so that I can try to reflect on what went on as well as anything else on my mind.

Post # 15
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@LoggerHead91207:  Good for you for making the initial appointment! sometimes that is the hardest part!

I would definitely say keep an open mind. Also, be willing to therapist shop if you feel uncomfortable with this therapist. It’s important to be seen by someone who is a good fit for you. And, remember that building relationships takes time. You may not completely open up at first, but after a few months you will probably be able to share more of yourself.

Lastly, I don’t want to say “Go on meds!!” cause I’m generally anti-meds as much as possible BUT wanted to say that medication can be a good way to get back to a more “normal” place,  which can make working on the harder, underlying “stuff” easier. It doesn’t mean staying on medication forever, just staying on until you’re better able to manage on your own. Just food for thought. I have a lot of anxiety too, but I’m able to manage it with occasional medication for things like big presentations or big events, where I have a more difficult time still with being able to relax. 

I hope you this goes well for you! 

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