Post # 1
Ok Bees, I’m turing to the experts on this one. FI and I have been debating the flower girl decision for the past few weeks. Here is the background:
FBIL and his wife had a baby girl at the end of March 2009, Emma. Emma was almost 3 months premature – she weighed 1.5 pounds at birth. She fought through multiple infections and had 2 eye surgeries in those first fragile months. Thank God, she’s now a chubby 9.6 pound baby, at home with her parents. She’s got a few small issues, but it’s seriously a miracle that she survived. We met her for the first time last weekend (FBIL is out of state) and she’s fantastic.
We realize at the time of our wedding, October 2010, she’ll only be about a year and a half. Assuming all her health issues clear up, is this too young to be a flower girl? We know she can’t walk on her own, but we were thinking of having her 12 year old sister be a junior bridesmaid and walk/carry her down the isle. A friend at work also suggested dressing up a wagon and pulling her down the isle that way. We know the chances of her freaking out might be good, but her dad will be the best man, her mom will be close by, as will several other family members.
It seems that family (his and mine) are very opposed to putting her in the wedding. They think she’ll be far too young, even with the alternatives above. FI and I, and many of our friends, think that there should be a way to include baby Emma.
What do you think? I want to be clear, if she’s still having any health issues, we would NOT put her in a situation she could not handle. But if she continues to do well over the next year, do you think it’s out of the question? Maybe it’s just too soon to think about this? I’m not sure any more!
Post # 3
Oh…I’ll keep her in my prayers! I think you should see how she’s doing right before your wedding, she may want to walk down the aisle with her big sister, or she may totally love riding in a wagon. If it was my niece, I would definitely include her but based on her age and seeing how she’s doing healthwise, gage it on that.
Post # 4
i say she is too young but having someone push/pull her in a wagon/old fashion pram would be a better idea than someone carrying her
i also worry about the stress of the day would put on a child so young and her parents. you will have to work her sleeping & eating patterns into your schedule so she is rested otherwise youre going to have a whiney baby on your hands with stressed parents
Post # 5
my 15 month old would climb out of the wagon faster than you could say his name and then run wild around the room.
I don’t know how he will handle walking in our wedding in april when he will be almost 2, but I plan on trying to have big brother hold his hand down the aisle and if that doesn’t work then he can just go sit with grandma and grandpa..
I think if you really want her to be in the wedding you should give her a chance, but also have an alternative plan in case she freaks out or anything
Post # 6
@happilywaiting – thank you! She’s doing very well but can always use the positive energy. We want to include her in whatever way is appropriate for her, even if it’s just for some photos.
@eloping – good points! her parents will be able to escape pretty easily if they need to with her – both ceremony and reception venue are only 10 minutes or so from our homes. I’m not sure how things will be going for her in a year, but we do have some options to make sure she’s rested and taken care of, regardless of what role she plays on the big day.
Post # 7
Honestly, you never know how kids will react until the day of the wedding. My FSIL’s two nephews (4 and 6) both had colossal meltdowns and had to be put in a time out instead of walking down the aisle. My flower girl, who is a wonderful and adorable angel, had a tough day on our wedding day. She made it down the aisle, but had to take breaks during the wedding.
You should make it really clear to your family that you completely understand that it may not work out for this baby to be a part of the ceremony. You can have a plan for her in a pram or wagon, but make sure her mom understands that you won’t be upset or disappointed if the plan needs to be changed at the last minute. Also, a decision should probably be made much closer to the wedding since children’s personalities develop more and you will see if she is a quieter or noisier baby, and whether or not she tends to be tired or napping during the time your ceremony will be held.
My one year old niece was an honorary flower girl – she was in the program, but her mom felt it would be better to leave her with a baby sitter for the ceremony. You might want to consider doing the same.
Post # 8
I voted for the Wagon. IF you can pull it off, I say go for it!
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!
I think she’s too young, but if you really want to do it, definitely not alone. (i.e. with sister)
Sorry to rain on the parade.
Post # 10
We were going to have my niece be the flowergirl, and my FI thought she might be too young at the time of the wedding. But she will be about 3. I think that would be a good age, don’t you guys think? And I think if your niece can follow directions and walk, then it would be fine to have her in the wedding.
Post # 11
Much positive energy & prayers on their way. I’m gonna go off on a tangent here (sorry), but my uncle (my mum’s only brother and my godfather) had a heart attack on Saturday and we prayed and prayed (he’s in TX we’re in MA). We thought we would lose him, but thanks to the wonderful staff at Cy-Fair Med Ctr in Houston, and all of our prayers, he made it through. I am, by no means, a super religious person, but I do believe in the power of prayer. (((Hugs))) JeanL.
Post # 12
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I think she is too young. Include her in a special way in the pictures, but she shouldn’t be going down the aisle–it won’t be meaningful to her, and the people you are actually honoring by trying to include her don’t seem to want it.
Post # 14
I’m surprised her family doesn’t want her in it.
Post # 15
i think she should have a special role in the wedding, but not as a flower girl. how about putting her in a cute dress and having mom carry her to her seat right before the processional? that way everyone is seated and will see the gorgeous baby, but no pressure on any sort of “performance” and she’ll be in mama’s arms.
Post # 16
I think she’d be adorable being pulled down the aisle in a wagon.. just to include her and maybe have an older girl throwing the petals… she could be your flower baby instead of flower girl…