Post # 1
I was reading Miss Pudding’s blog post from last week, which mentioned the infamous Aiden ring on Sex and the City, and it got me thinking:
Could a ring be a dealbreaker for me?
I don’t really know my answer… I know that more and more couples are buying their engagement rings together now than ever before, but if I were to be surprised with a ring I didn’t like I don’t really know how I would feel! There are definitely a few things I could think of that might be dealbreakers… but at the same time, I know it’s just a ring.
What do you think? Could a ring be a dealbreaker for you?
Post # 3
I don’t think so. My FI could have given me anything and I would have been ok with it and happy to marry him. Of course, I wanted a princess cut center diamond and got it…Still, I think if it’s the right guy, the ring wouldn’t be a deal breaker, just maybe something to “upgrade” or exchange later if it was something that you couldn’t grow to love.
Post # 4
Miss apple – i don’t think it would be a dealbreaker. if he gets me something i don’t like and there’s no way to return or exchange it, i’ll just live with it. sure, i might be, and might express dissappointment because i’ll have to wear the thing, like, forever. but at this stage of our relationship i just want to be my BF’s wife more than i care about rings or having THE perfect wedding. A ring is important to me for what it means in terms of his level of commitment, but whether or not i get THE ring matters less.
Post # 5
It was a dealbreaker for a friend of mine. She thought that if her fiance didn’t know her well enough to know what she liked and didn’t like in a ring then it wouldn’t work out with them. (Sadly, he had the ring specially designed for her).
They broke up and eventually worked things out a couple of years later. They are now married, but I lost touch with her since then.
Post # 6
I don’t think the ring would’ve been a deal breaker for me at all. Of course, I did drop hints that I prefered a princess cut solitare, but FI told me after the proposal that he originally looked at round because he liked it but found better deals on princess, so it worked out in my favor. However, if it had really been something that was totally what I didn’t want, I don’t think he would’ve been crushed and we could have a different setting made or whatever. He wouldn’t want me living with a ring that I didn’t like for the rest of my life. It’s not like I would’ve been saying no to the proposal after all. =)
Post # 7
no, i’d just return it and get a diff. one.
Post # 8
I think if the ring is truly a deal breaker, then the girl probably doesn’t want to truly marry the guy anyway. There are so many options if you don’t like the ring…suck it up and love it anyway because the man you love bought it for you….nicely figure out a way to let him down and ask for an exchange…”upgrade” it later on…etc.
Post # 9
i don’t think it would be but i’m glad i won’t have to worry about it being a factor. this was why we went shopping together so he could get a better idea of what i’d like and what would look good on me. he figured since he was going to be spending a good chunk of money on it and that i would be wearing it for the rest of my life, it should be something i really loved.
Post # 10
@ Mrs. DG.. wow, that is a hell of a story! lol
Post # 11
That is really hard to say – I think that if he was way off base I would think twice about how much he knew me but I am such an open book that I think that is almost impossible!
But as far as size or quality or whether it was a ring pop or a real diamond that wouldn’t matter – I would have said yes to a rubber band!
Post # 12
I don’t think the ring would be a dealbreaker. If your SO picks out the ring on his own I kinda like to think that whatever design he picks is what says you to him. If that makes sense? Luckily for my FH picked out the exact type of ring I always wanted and would have picked out for myself all on his own.
Post # 13
Mimosa- I think that whole stunt actually contributed to the demise of our friendship. It seemed like such a small thing to me… especially when the guy had this really unique ring lovingly handcrafted for her… only to see her basically reject it (and him), so harshly.
It changed the way I thought about her a little bit, you know?
Post # 14
Oh myyy! Mrs. DG- wow, that is really sad for the girl’s (now) husband. It would definitely change my view of a friend if she did that!
And no, I don’t think the ring could ever be a dealbreaker. The only thing that could is absence of love for the person, and no desire to spend the rest of my life with him.
Post # 15
Oh yeah, that’s pretty.. selfish, inconsiderate, petty, and wwaaayy materialistic! I can’t believe he STILL wanted to be with her.. that’s amazing.
Post # 16
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
A ring I didn’t like would definitely not in itself be a dealbreaker, but since I’d made pretty clear that I did not want to be surprised by a proposal (or a ring, for that matter) it would definitely be food for thought if he decided to ignore me!