- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
My ex husband and I split up for a little over a year and are back together and getting remarried. Things are a LOT different adn we’ve both had really tough roads at finding ourselves and learning about ourselves, what we lost, what part we played in it and what we truly want in life. We got together super young.
Anyway, fiance is really excited about the wedding – the two of us, alone, near the area we originally had our first destination wedding on our 10th wedding anniversary. He wants to go all out and wear a tux. I’ve tried to talk him out of it, b/c I really wanted somethign casual, but he insists. So I figured it’s his wedding too, I’ll try to compromise, though said I dont’ want a big poufy heavy dress w/a train.
Well we’ve had tons of fights over this wedding, mostly the reception/celebration we were plannign for when we got back. He kept holding in his feelings to “compromise” and let me have what I wanted, then it woudl come out that he didn’t like the ideas after I’d practically planned every detail. This happened like three times. I’ve been urging him to be completely honest and we’ve agreed on everything. I found a place in the middle and it’s all good.
Well, I went saturday to try on dresses for the first time. I’d previously pointed out dresses that I’d liked to him online and he made a statement about a tea length dress I liked that my tattoo would show (I got two when we were separated, feeling like he may have resentment about them). So what? I happen to like my tattoo and feel it’s tasteful. He’s told me before that he thinks they shoudl be covered (tattoos in general) for formal affairs and look out of place when people are dressed up. So I decided I’d do long, but no train and not heavy. I tried on dresses and the first dress was my dream dress. It’s the color, shape, price, everything that I want and the first one I tried on. I tried on more, but fell in love. My bff was there and it was her fave too. She made me feel beautiful. Oh and I fell more in love w/the shoes, which have a cutout that show my tattoo perfectly, I love the shoes and how my tatto looks in them. The dress is a keyhole and you can see the tatoo on my back as well. I think they both look tasteful. Have thought about covering them, but really don’t want to.
I told him I’d found a dress and he was happy. He kept begging me to show him. I told him no, but I told him IDK if he’d like it b/c my tatto on my back woudl show and he jokes, “they make shaws”. Then he said it didn’t matter, b/c I was wearing my hair down. Well no, b/c w/my dress, It needs to be up. I started getting upset and told him my shoes show my foot tattoo and you may be able to see them when I walk. He said “are you serious?!”. Ummmm, do you want me to wear boots? I’m so upset that I’m trying so hard to get something to make him happy while staying true to what I want. I wanted more casual, and he’s wearing what he wants w/no regard for my thoughts. I think I’ve decided to get the dress anyway and not cover the tattoos, but appreciate them b/c I love them.
My worry is that he won’t think I’m beautiful or that I’ll be upset b/c I know he’d rather they not show. He’ll also not like any of the pics that show it and for sure it won’t go on the wall. He reminded me that I wanted honesty, so am I over-reacting? Is he being harsh? I am so frustrated, I could scream. I was so excited and now am just upset about the dress and shoes… (oops, sorry so long)