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If you didn't need to work (you could live off your SO's income alone, while still saving money--aka, not living paycheck to paycheck or anything), would you still feel like you needed to/wanted to work? I mean work as in paid employment. Or would you be happy doing other things with your time (volunteering, taking classes, etc)?
I would be happy doing other things with my time. My job is nice, but I don't feel as though it means anything. I could be doing more meaningful things if I had the abilty to not be here all day.
I'd definitely be happy doing other things. I'd really like to work with horses which is basically volunteer work/a money pit unless you are really good/really lucky.
I'm currently getting to experience a bit of being a "stay at home wife" while looking for a new job in the UK.
After 1 1/2 days of staying at home, I can tell you that I would go INSANE if I didn't have something else to do. If it takes me a while to find a job, I will need to find something to do with my time while looking. There is only so much laundry I can do.
I love my work and it fulfills me...but I wouldn't mind doing freelance work if I lived off of SO's income alone.
I would always need to fill my time with something productive though.
I would want to work at least part time...but it certainly wouldn't be doing the job I do now.
@KatNYC2011: Gahhh working with horses would be my dream job as well. Why can't someone just pay me to ride around and groom them all day? 
And I know what you mean about going insane...I've been unemployed for about 3 months now, and it sucks majorly. That's what brought on this question...I've been thinking about how I might feel if I don't find a job and instead just fill my time with volunteer work.
@soyjoy222: Yeah I had that same "meaningless" feeling about my last job, which is why I left!
I want things out of life (e.g. paying kids education, travel, etc.) that make it such I'd want to keep working even if not required. If SO was independently wealthy, absolutely I'd be happy doing other things such as more volunteering than I currently. But, I might still work part-time. I don't like to be bored.
I don't work, and don't financially need to work. Yes, I am extremely happy.
I would be joining you at those classes and volunteer events!! I like my job, but let's be honest - I'm only here for the income. If I didn't need it, I would be 100% fine staying home. My husband would like that too bc there is no way I would let him do any of the cooking/cleaning/errands anymore if I were home, it would be a nice improvement for both of us.
But for now I am working and probably always will be. Even if my DH were to double his salary, I unfortunately make too much to ever stay home - unless we were to have triplets or something.
We kind of do that right now (although, I got a job and I start in a month) but I'm also a SAHM. I'm not really happy about it...I love spending time with my son but I feel guilty for not making any money currently. There aren't too many classes I would take unless it would benefit my career...since DH is working why should I play and take it easy?
I think I'd lose my mind. If anything DH would stay home and I'd continue working.
We were both home sick yesterday and making jokes about watching "mommy tv"
@hilsy85: If you find someone who will pay us to train and groom, let me know! I know it's long hours and hard work for no pay but I'd love to do it.
Hopefully I find something quickly. I am in a new country and do want to do some exploring, but exploring the city alone doesn't sound nearly as fun as exploring it with my DH on the weekends.
There are some upcoming art fairs, so I'll try to go to some of those just to get out of the house.
I would definitely enjoy doing other things whether volunteering, hobbies, etc.
I would have zero problem not working for a paycheck. I don't enjoy working and it provides me with no fulfillment. I have no desires to have a career.
I would be much happier spending my time volunteering, raising children, and working around the house (which is why I intend to be a SAHM when we have kids).
I would definitely be happy doing other things! I hope to be a SAHM at least while my children are young, and I feel like rasing the kids alone would take up all of my time! I also really enjoy volunteering with kids, so I would love to do some more of that. I would be much happier not working, as bad as it sounds.. I'm in the process of getting my PhD and everyone is just kinda like "Whaaaat, you don't wanna do this or that or make lots of money?" Nope! I wanna be a SAHM and maybe eventually a teacher when the kids are older, if we need extra income (which we probably will).
@Heatherloveskenny: That's how I feel....VERY guilty for not making any money and not making any tangible contributions to our household/income.
It's really nice to hear how many of you would be happy doing other things with you time if you didn't have to work, though. It makes me feel better about my current situation (although I am looking for work constantly), in case I don't get a job any time soon.
@kay01: Would you be happy volunteering part time or would you want to be working?
@moderndaisy: Ha, yeah, I've definitely taken over all the household stuff since I've been unemployed. It's something for me to do during the day, at least.
I would want to work regardless. Not working sucks especially when everyone else you know works. You'll be the only one with tons of free time even if y ou plan to do "other things" its not the same as having a paid job
Yep, as long as I had other things to fill my time. Volunteer work, shopping, maybe the occasional hobby class or being a more involved mom in the school and community. I'd stay busy.
Currently, I am lucky enough to have the best of both worlds.
I work part time as a teacher and it's my dream job! I work with gifted kids and I can basically do my own thing, so we do really awesome stuff that I wouldn't get to do if I had a classroom.
But, since it's part time, I have ample time during the week to take care of the house, run my errands, and still have the evenings/weekends free to go out with friends or whatever. DH is away for school right now, but I loved having this schedule when he was home, especially!
ETA: I also right now "have" to work. We could live off of DH's paycheck alone, paying our bills, and having a tiny bit left over, but we wouldn't really be able to save or be financially comfortable.
If I could quit working, I'd be out of there so fast my poor husband wouldn't know what hit him. Alas, he says I make too much money. Don't think I haven't tried to talk him into it though! ;)
In all reality, I would quit what I do in favor of starting my own business. I would be able to be creative and ezxercise some of the awesome ideas that I have without stressing over making a certain paycheck. That's the dream. It's not going to happen though.
@hilsy85: I so want to take over cleaning this apartment, but we don't have any furniture yet. So cleaning consists of moving piles from one counter to another and then back. We don't even have a table to eat dinner on, we have to eat outside no matter the weather until the shipping container comes.
Furniture should be here by the end of the month.
@bells: That's definitely true...I didn't realize how much I liked having a structured schedule until I didn't have one anymore!
@lox: My DH keeps pushing me to start my own business/practice while I'm unemployed, but frankly, I find the thought terrifying!! It seems like so much responsibility and liability. I'm in awe of people who do it!
@KatNYC2011: Ah being in that limbo stage sucks. Fingers crossed everything arrives soon!
If money wasn't an issue, I would like to go back to grad school and then try to start a career that is more meaningful to me than what I am currently doing. I'd like to have the time to find something that fulfills me personally, while not having to worry about paying the mortgage. I don't think this will happen in this lifetime. *sigh* Oh well, a girl can always dream.
I am only working because I have to financially. I was a SAHM for a while when my kids were small and I loved it. I loved the freedom and the flexibility it gave me. My house was clean and organized, I cooked every night, I was involved with the PTA and my church, I read books for pleasure...sigh.
As for my job? I'm an attorney and while I don't hate it, I'd not miss it either.
EDIT: This question begs for a poll!
@hilsy85: The part where you mention the guilt over not earning an income would easily be the biggest hurdle for me. I would LOVE to stay at home and cook, keep the house clean, and then watch the kiddos once we have them...but it would be a major adjustment for me to become comfortable with being financially dependent on my husband. I haven't relied on anyone but myself in such a long time that I feel like I might really struggle with that.
@hilsy85: I feel like such a waste during the day. I make sure all the laundry is done and folded and the kitchen is clean, but the place is still disorganized, but there's nothing I can do about it until we get our furniture. So I feel bad sitting here doing nothing for the apartment, but there's nothing much else I CAN do.
Honestly, no....Unfortunately right now a huge part of my self worth is tied to my ability to bring home a check and nourish a high paying career. This is kinda gross but DH and I are kinda in a 'friendly' (haha) competition to see who can bring in the most bacon by 35. ugh, we are nuts.
I can't believe I just admitted that. I dont know if these feelings make me happy or sad. Im still very young so this might change as I get older. SIGH.
ETA: and for the life of me, I can't fathom asking him for money. And I am marrying an incredibly generous person. I have some sort of mental block and just cannot be asking him for money to fund my latest ANthropologie escapade.
Hell yeah. I would love to not work and be free to do just whatever I wanted.
@MrsCarnival: It's really really hard for me as well...mostly because I feel like I"m wasting my own potential and because I worry that he'll become resentful of the money I do spend. I feel like I can't go shopping or buy anything frivolous (maybe that's not such a bad thing actually, lol).
@KatNYC2011: Yeah It's a waiting game...sidenote: how is London though??! Very different from NYC? I was there for a few days a few years ago and I remember loving it.
I would definitely be happy not working if I didn't have to work, but I'd probably end up doing something part-time like volunteering with kids or dogs just to keep me occupied. I always fantasize about how beautiful my house would look, what a great chef I would be, and how I'd be in perfect shape if I didn't have to sit on my butt at a computer 40 hours a week!
Also, if right now I absolutely didn't have to work (as in, DH is making tons of money), we would probably be thinking about having kids sooner. $$ is a big driver in when we want to start having kids.
@Aubergold: Honestly, no....Unfortunately right now a huge part of my self worth is tied to my ability to bring home a check and nourish a high paying career.
YES YES YES. I am struggling with this as well...especially because my chosen career (counseling/mental health) is NOT high paying, so it's like, is it worth it for me to work just to say that I worked? But I feel badly about myself when I imagine not working at all in the future/next 5-10 years.
No. I am on maternity leave right now and can't wait to go back to work. I am sooooo bored.
I think I could be happy not to work. I would like to put all my creativity to works, paint, knit, design for a living. Bake cupcakes/cakes/cookies, sell em off at farmer's markets around the city. Make small amounts of money into the household, but still do the things I love and not worrying myself out over payments/bills.
But then again - I need a reality check! *slap*
@Pomapoo: I also had those assumptions...sad to say, my bathroom still needs cleaning today and I did not go to the gym this morning (may go this afternoon though). I still somehow manage to come up with excuses!
@hilsy85: London is great. I'm loving it.
My main experiences so far have been with the grocery stores, but they are SO much better here.
You can easily go and buy just what you need to make dinner for 2. You don't have to buy a huge head of celery if you just need one stalk.
The meat and produce is all really fresh. You may not be able to get everything year round, but whatever you do get is fresh and local.
Plus, there are so many more good partially prepared items.
For example, for tonight's dinner i picked up a 2 pack of Parmesan crusted veal patties, they are seasoned and made and all I have to do is cook them. It was also only 2 pounds for them.
Yeah... weird that I'm raving about a grocery store... but I feel like cooking here is so much easier and it'll be easier to have varied dinners that don't take long to cook and are fresh and healthy.
@eeniebeans: Aww but you have a little cutie to keep you company at least :) Congrats!
I would like to add that while I love not working, I do love being a full time mommy and volunteering as a director at a home for survivors of human trafficking. If I wasn't pouring my life into my passions I would not have this level of happiness.
That's a tough question. My immediate reaction was "hell yes!" but then I thought about how bored I get when I am home by myself. As long as I was able to fill up that time doing something that I loved, then I think I would be just fine not working!
@burris4: Oh wow, well in that case, I would definitely say that you are keeping busy! If I could find a volunteer position like that, I would be so thrilled.
@KatNYC2011: Yay for fresh and local food! That sounds awesome. Just a side note...one of my friends created this website: http://www.societywest.com/home, which is basically for people/expats living in London. Might have some good info for you!
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