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If it were me, I'd go for the on campus housing and skype a lot. But if you are persistent in looking for off campus places, lot of landlords are willing to be flexible if you offer to pay an additional pet fee and the animals are house trained.
I've done this (Weenie lived with grandma and grandpa for about a year and a half while I cared for my ex) and ever since, he has separation anxiety. It didn't work for my dog.
I wouldn't be able to live more than a month (maybe less) without my dog. He has gotten more through so much and I don't even want to think about leaving him anywhere for that long. I also don't think HE could stand it. He practically dies everytime I leave the house (even 5 minutes). He was so mad at me when I left him for a week to go on vacation. No worries, he doesn't have dog anxiety, he is just REALLY excited when I get back, and REALLY sad when I'm gone... to the point of not eating. Weirdo.
I'm not saying you're wrong for doing leaving your pets, you just asked what if I could do it, and I can't :( If good people are taking care of your pets, and are willing to give them back, and it saves money... sure go ahead.
If it were me, I would keep looking for pet friendly housing. I couldn't be without my dog, regardless of the money I would save.
I guess I should be asking about if it will permanently mess up the animals. I know that I can deal with anything if I know it is temporary. Although I do get a lump in my throat at the thought of it (especially my cat Spike who is the most amazing creature EVER)...
I guess it depends on the personality of the pets too. Cats seem more flexible. My SIL would take them and she is a "crazy cat lady" in the making. But seriously, her cats are indoor only and spoiled rotten and I know she's spoil mine too.
The dogs seem more likely to be negatively affected. They do okay when we leave on trips.... but they stay home and the neighbor pet sits. They don't seem "changed" when we return (granted this is not a common occurence).
We do have a year to decide for sure, and I think that I should start taking them to "visit" more where they might be living, just in case, so it will be a familiar place to them.
We are still considering all options though, and we'd gladly pay a pet deposit if we could find someone who'd consider it. Like I said we've been looking in an unofficial way for a few months though and it's weird. I have NEVER seen so many "no pets!" places in my life!
I could not do this.
More importantly, while my animals could theoretically "do it", I can't see how it would be in the best interest of the animal. Moves in general are very stressful for animals, and even more stressful it if involves a person other than the one(s) they are used to.
It would be one thing if it was a few weeks, or even a few months. But a couple of years? The animals would have to readjust to a new home and a new family, only to be ripped away from them and thrown into another unfamiliar environment. That's really not fair for the animals.
I will say that yes, it is certainly better than a shelter, and if it is your only option other than a shelter than it is surely the best choice. However, it sounds like you are more than capable of either waiting to move or finding a place that will allow pets. Until recently when of my cats passed away, I had 3 cats. I also had a foster dog. I do not live in a "pet friendly" city but I was able to find a place that allows pets. You just have to search, it can be done.
Good luck to you, I hope you make the best decision possible for your animals.
I couldn't do it. I went to Italy for three months and left my cats with my parents. The older one, Peter, who acts all tough and like he doesn't care ended up at the vets office for pretty much all three months because he was depressed and suffering from seperation anxiety. It cost me about $3000 in vet bills. He only perked up when I called my ex from Italy and asked him to go visit the damn cat. He pulled through it but since then he definitely has a whole lot of attachment issues. We can go away for two weeks at a time if we have my BIL or another family member stay at the house with him, but when we get home he nearly EXPLODES with excitement and we can't leave him alone for a good few days without him getting kind of frantic about it. I wouldn't leave him for that long again. Poor monkey.
I could never do it. Lincoln (our kitty) is like a son to us. He is unbelievably attached to FI and I and I don't think that he would ever survive with anyone else. Sounds strange but the 3 of us have this weird bond.
Ok, now I sound like a psycho...
I just read your follow up post, and you have to understand the difference between a couple of days and a matter of years. There really is no comparison. At some point the pet will stop expecting you to come back, and will identify itself as a member of his/her new "pack". It isn't just a vacation, a time period that long will require the animal to integrate into his/her new family in order to feel comfortable, safe, and happy.
As a 'crazy cat lady' (and proud of it!), I have to say that cats are not as "flexible" as you think. Cats are very easily stressed, much less trusting, and tend to bond closely to only those they know well. In my experience, they actually respond less favorably than dogs, and I have seen many stress induced illnesses in cats that are dumped by their families.
I wouldn't do it. If you plan on leaving them then you should leave them for good. While you're away they're going to form new bonds with the people who are taking care of them. It will be tramatic twice, once when you leave and then again when you take them back.
I would leave my dog with a person I really trusted --- maybe. My dog has had many many many changes, so she is very adaptable. We have lived in many places and had many roommates. I think it is best to look for a place that allows pets though- because I think it is the right thing to do- not because I think the pets will change- but again- my dog is possibly different because of how she grew up.
The thing is... you can't explain to a pet why you're doing it or that it isn't forever. In their eyes-- it will be abandonment. Maybe they'll get over it? I have a rescue dog and he seems very happy with me (although a bit traumatized at first), but he definitely has anxiety issues stemming (I'd have to guess) from his abandonment by his first owners. Then you're talking about taking them back in 1-2 YEARS. By which point they'd probably be used to their new living situations and think that THOSE people abandoned them... thus screwing with their heads a second time.
You say 80-90% of apartments are not pet friendly... that means that 10-20% of them are. I'd go that route.
There is an easy work around. Tons of grads where I attend school have their "therapy pets" and "emotional support" animals living with them in student housing. Some have dogs, some cats--I never pushed my luck with the birds.
The Americans with Disabilities Act makes it hard for institutions to restrict animals because there has not been a clear legal definition of what constitutes a true therapy animal (at least not enough of one for most places to take on the liability and put their foot down). Our local bus agency told me that they literally can't kick the guy who rides around with his "therapy" iguana off because they don't want to defend it in court.
I certainly can see how the system is being abused, but as students go back to school later in life (and that is a good thing in my opinion since they are more focused), schools need to realize that keeping families intact WITH pets is actually a good policy. If an apartment in student housing can withstand a toddler, and you give a deposit, I really don't see the issue.
It totally depends on what you are comfortable with, but if you do what to keep your pets, you should see a psychologist or doctor who will write you a note stating that this pet is actually a therapy pet/emotional support animal for someone in your family. Alternatively, many grad programs will refer you to campus resources that will help you find housing, or contact current grad students. I've helped people coming into my program find housing through the grapevine, and often other grads with pets know about animal friendly listings.
I absolutely wouldn't do it. I had to leave my kitty at home for part of my bachelors degree and it has scared him permenantly. He was a one person cat, "my" cat to begin with and not only did the stress activate his asthma and food allergies, he now pees in my shoes/suitcase whenever he thinks I'm leaving. My other kitty that I rescued from my college campus is so attached that she retreats into an unmoving ball under the bed if I leave her for longer than a short vacaiton. They both become depressed and don't want to eat. To have them with me, I would consider the lowered tuition enough of a bargain and pay extra for a pet friendly place.
I would look for pet friendly housing and not settle until I found that. We have 2 cats and a dog and they are our babies. I could never leave them. I get sad when Im away from them for even a few days!
Honestly, I could never do this. We have two large dogs and always have a hard time finding a place to live and are going through this same situation right now with our plans to move to a different state. I could never ever live without my dogs and I know they would have serious issues without us. But that is just me, I don't have children yet and my dogs are my children. I just couldn't imaging not seeing their happy fuzzy faces every day. When we go on vacation, I miss them like crazy and keep pictures of them up in our hotel or stateroom!!
I have to do it right now. I've been doing it since December, but I am able to visit Satine (my 5 year old maltese). It breaks my heart and I think I have more of the separation anxiety than she does. She's currently living with my grandparents and is more attached with them now, but I'm her number one still. I wish it was possible to bring her to where J and I are living right now (just with his parents), but they're against it because they have cats. It wasn't supposed to be for this long either. J and I were supposed to have our own place by this time, but he's still laid off. I cry every so often because I do miss her a lot and not sure when she will be able to be with us full-time. Makes me angry really.
ETA: I do agree with PPs that a couple of years is a long time though. My situation is quite different considering I am able to visit and she will be living with me at some point soon. And Satine is with people she was with before so she wasn't placed in an unfamiliar setting. It's really tough to leave them behind, trust me. I honestly don't see it as a great idea. If you're attached as I am, you'll cry a lot. :(
To be completely honest I and I know my husband as well can never do it. Our dog is one of the family and if we were planning a move she will move with us. Even if it meant mroe money.
And sure I think your pets will survive physically just fine without you. But emotionally they will feel like you have abandoned them.
We hate leaving our pup at boarding for a week during family vacations. When we went on our 3 week honeymoon it was ONLY because our BIL agreed to watch her. She loves him like crazy and we knew she will do the best with him.
So if I really really really really had to it would only be with someone that I know she loves just as much as she loves us.
I could not do this. My dog would literally be traumatized for life. She's unbelievably devoted to me and wouldn't be the same dog afterwards.
I went on several summer internships without her when I was younger and she didn't cope well. She literally laid by the front door of my parents house daily and cried. And that was only when I was gone for 2 months, not 2 years.
I would pay the pet deposits happily if it meant my dog could come with me.
It sounds like you and you and your wife have put a lot of thought into this very difficult decision.
Keep in mind you two will do what is best for your (and your pet). My first inclination when I was the title of the thread was "Ohhhh...no....I don't think I could leave my cat!" HOWEVER, you just never know what life will bring you and sometimes things don't fall into place as we wish nor do we get to have everything be as we wish.
Good luck to you, I am sure this is really tough.
I'm sorry but I couldn't do that to my three kitties. I'd pay hefty pet deposits and do all I could to take my furbabies with me. That was sort of my agreement with myself and promise to them that I would always be their primary caregiver until they pass.
I think to do what's best for the pets, you either find a way to take them with you, or you find them a new forever home. I feel it's cruel to abandon your animals and change their whole life/routine/knowledge of the universe by placing them in a new home, and then simply take them back and disrupt them again because it's easier for you. Pets are a financial and emotional commitment. If you can no longer uphold your end of the bargain find them loving, caring, stable homes and move on.
We are going through a slightly similar situation right now, but there is no way FI and I are going to leave our cat behind.
We are moving to the UK for 2 years and pet friendly housing is extremely hard to find, especially since we may need a partially furnished place for at least some of the time while our furniture crosses the bond.
For us, leaving Tommy (our cat) behind is not an option. He sleeps in our bed with us every night and greets us at the door every day.
He's already having issues because FI is in London 3 weeks out of ever month and he's starting to either get aggressive or run and hide ever time he sees a suitcase.
Finding a place will be hard, but it is not impossible. He is part of our family and therefore he is coming with us.
It's going to be hard enough to leave him in the states for a month or so (because of the 6 month waiting period from the last rabies test to get in to the UK) and I'm worried about that scarring him.
The longest we've ever left him for was a week, and we had a friend he knew well take care of him.
It worked for us! Finances and convenience sometimes do have to take precidence over pets, unfortunately. Does it mean you're heartless? I don't think so--especially if you're responsible enough to find good people to be with your pets (it sounds like you have!). As much as people try to believe it, a pet is not a child, and spending hundreds or thousands extra and/or giving up very attractive conveniences for them is sometimes just beyond impractical.
When I had to do this my cat was so happy living with my mom and dad after a year that she had no intention of coming back to live with me when I was able. My parents adopted her permanently and she is SO SO happy with them. Much more attention than I was able to provide, and much more space to have fun.
I could never leave my baby. My heart aches for her when I'm at work for crying out loud. Vacations are even harder even though she only stays with my parents or my fiance's.
I wish you the best in figuring out what is best for you and your pets.
I couldn't do this. My dog is my family, and I treat him like a son. I realize this is an extreme analogy, but for me, this would be similar to leaving my child to live with friends for a few years. I would do anything possible to keep him with me, including getting rid of cable/internet, eating cheaper, riding a bike, etc. Maybe downgrade to one car if you and your partner have more than one? If there is absolutely no way to make it work, then I would rehome your pets. It's not fair for them to get attached to a new family just to be taken away again.
When I tell you that I was in the EXACT same situation as you this time last year, I am not kidding! We moved to Iowa last summer and could not bring out chesapeake bay retriever with us. We could only afford an apartment because we would only be here for a year, and its not fair to a large dog to be cooped up in a tiny apartment all day. We left him with FIs parents for this year, and we are about to move back. He was depressed for a few weeks, but then adjusted. He was so excited at Christmas when we went to visit. It was really sad to leave, but we knew it would only be temporary. We are now moving back to the area where we used to live and will be getting a house with a yard so we can have him back. It is hard to leave your fur babies, but in our case it was what was best for the family, us and our baby. I hope that you can make plans to do what is best for your babies and your family. Good Luck!
I could do this so long as I knew that our dog was with good people (like family). It would be hard but sometimes life gets in the way of our plans and you have to make choices that you don't necessarily want.
DH might get the chance with his job to have us move to UAE for a year. If this happens, I highly doubt we'd be able to take our dog with us. But I know my parents would be willing to keep her for the year that we'd be gone (this is all hypothetical at this point, but still).
That said, I would make every effort (including paying more in rent and pet deposits) to find a way to be able to bring your animals with you. Leaving them with family for a stretch of time would be my absolute last resort.
I think making "visits" to the places with the pets is an excellent idea in the event you do go this route. At least they will be comfortable with the place and people they will be with. Also, if it were me, I would ask my vet about the situation. Obviously they know a lot about animals and may have even seen animals in this same situation. I would definately tell them the situation and get their advice on it.
I wouldn't do this. You will be able to find pet-friendly options, you might just have to look a bit harder. It might also be more expensive. I don't want to make you feel bad or sound preachy, but I think you become responsible for your pets and their well-being when you decide to adopt them, and sometimes that requires making some sacrifices.
I wouldn't put them somewhere temporarily. You probably need to either take them with you or give them to a new home permanently.
I understand a lot of what people are saying, and I know "Don't get a pet unless you can keep them with you forever" but seriously? Sometimes life isn't simple, sometimes you DO have to do what's best financially, and sometimes you have to be practical about making those decisions, not just emotional. If it comes right down to it, you're lucky that you have people to watch your pets if it means you can save money and get you and your own children a head start in life. The only way I'd never say "no way, our family is staying together" is with my husband and child, but not my animals. It doesn't make me heartless, it makes me practical. Explore all options for sure, but don't think of the worst case scenario just yet.
@KatyElle: First of all, she's not going to starve because of the upkeep of the pets. Let's dial down the drama a wee bit. No one is calling her a bad person if she can't keep the pets with her forever. What it comes down to is responsibility and commitments. She made a commitment to the pets when she adopted them and it's her responsibility to care for them. If she can no longer do that she should find them a new home who will. I think it's selfish to leave the animals for two years and then try to reclaim them. I don't think it's selfish to realize that she no longer wants to provide for them in her home, and to find them a new loving family who will.
@KatyElle
I guess I would amend my answer to the extent that the OP legitimately couldn't afford to rent a place that allows pets, but I didn't get that from the post. And I would also say that I am not sure how fair it would be to leave them with someone for a year or two and then take them back. I sort of agree with PP who said to just find them another permanent home. I think it might be a good idea to consult your vet about how this will impact the pets psychologically, b/c I think most of us are just guessing.
@lola2011: Yeah you're right, I totally implied that she was starving. Gosh, being financially responsible is so dramatic. IMO, sometimes other priorities come first. If it's going to be a huge struggle financially, which let's face it, getting through school in one piece financially is tough already, yeah maybe re homing is the best option.
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Trying to avoid a tl;dr post here, but bear with me.
We are strongly considering a move from Texas to Iowa next summer (summer 2012). One of the reasons we're considering this now rather than later is to finish school at the University of Northern Iowa in cedar falls/waterloo. The school has the degree program I need, an excellent teaching program for my wife, and is cheaper and has a better rep than the private university I would need to attend here to get the same degree. No chump change either... I'm talking about a $10,000 a year difference in tuition!
That's not our only reason for the Iowa move, it's just a reason for a SOONER move, rather than finishing school here in Texas. We will both have our associate degrees after this coming fall semester.
We would hopefully sell our house here, or rent it out to family (big maybe there).
We've been watching craigslist and real estate sites for rentals in the area we're looking to move to and it's a bit pricier than we are used to seeing for apartments and rental houses here. Especially if we want the kids in a particular school that is supposed to be amazing and awesome.
And we have noticed that a HUGE number of rentals there are not pet friendly whatsoever. I don't have any real numbers but from what I've seen in the past few months of looking it LOOKS like 80 to 90% have a "NO PETS" policy. As well as being geneally more expensive.
That is, of course, with the exception of the on-campus family apartment housing. I checked out the university's info on the family housing that is on the edge of campus and WOW. Our total housing costs (monthly rent plus utilities) would decrease by about $300 a month if we live there, and would include a landline phone and cable (2 things we don't have here due to costs). The housing on campus includes internet, cable, landline phone, and utilities would be about half what we pay here for the house.
On top of all that we'd have virtually zero essential gas costs outside of weekend driving to the store and such. Everything is within walking / biking distance, even teh children's school (part of the university actually). That's another $200 a month (what we currently spend commuting here to and from school and what we'd spend there if we lived elsewhere, or close to that).
The thing again, is the no pets policy, but we know we'd have a hard time finding a pet friendly place regardless.
So finally to my point: we have a family member who will take our cats for the time being, and a friend to take the dogs. With the understanding that we pay for food costs and medical. But they'd be here in Texas, and it'd be for one or two years! We will miss them like crazy but the bigger issue is, will the pets be able to adjust to that kind of absence and then come back with us when we are able to get a different housing situation? We can deal with missing them but if this will be too traumatic then we won't do it. But it's not like going to a shelter or anything... right?
We think we might do the on campus for the first year then see what we can find over the summer. The on-campus is just very appealing financially as well as just for being beneficial for us beingthere new to an area and new to the school. It's a lot of money for 2 full time students with kids.
Or should we just forget it and keep searching for a housing situation that is more ideal for taking them with us?
Thoughts? Anyone ever "fostered" out pets for this long with someone you know and trust?