(Closed) couple invited to wedding split… now what?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
12877 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oy, this is a toughie.  Was it an amicable split, or is it going to be a nasty divorce?  If they can both get along, maybe you contact them separately and say you’d like both of them to be there still (maybe offer guests to them, if space permits?).  If they can’t get along though, I’d say go with only the person you’re friendly with.

Good luck, this is a rough situation!  Let me know what you decide!

Post # 4
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

tough one. like abbie017 said, you may only want to invite the one you’re friendlier with or both but put them at separate tables if possible.  if this break up is still really fresh, you may not want to encourage them to bring a date (if they are both coming).  that could cause a lot of tension that you do not want or need.

good luck.

Post # 5
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I actually have friends that are going through counseling and could be divorced by the time my wedding happens. I have invited them both already and have no plans to withdraw the invitation. It would be a flight for them and maybe one can afford to come and the other can’t. I think they would be adults and either come together or one NOT show to avoid conflict. They are adults… so maybe only the guy will come since he’s closer to you. She may not want to be around him and stay home.

Post # 6
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think you should still invite them both, unless they really can’t get along in which case you should just invite the guy you’re actually close to.

Post # 7
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Invite them both and they’ll decide between the two of them who should come.

Post # 8
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I take it you are actually friends with them both? I know you said you’ve become closer to the guy but would you have considered the girl a friend as well? If so I think like@MissNoodles:  said invite both and more than likely they will make the choice for you, whether just one will come or both will be up to them and their feelings.

Post # 9
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Invite them both, and if they both respond, seat them at different tables. Chances are one of them will politely decline if they are uncomfortable both showing up.

Post # 11
3943 posts
Honey bee

I agree with PP’s. Invite them both and then go from there. There is a good chance that one will decline. And if they both come, then talk to the guy and get an idea on what he would feel comfortable with regarding seating arrangements. He might not want to answer questions all night about why him and his wife aren’t sitting together. Then again, they might not want to be anywhere near eachother.

Post # 12
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

This happened to me too.  I sent out my Save-The-Date Cards right around the time friends of mine broke up after over 10 years together.  I saw both of them separately at various parties over the holidays, and they were also a bit unsure about how the invites stood, since I hadn’t known about the breakup.  I told them that of course they were both still invited.  We have a lot of mutual friends, and it would be great just to have them there.

Like other posters suggested, invite them both.  If one of them will truly be uncomfortable, then they will decline.

Post # 13
1434 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

invite both! They can come or not…..you can seat them far apart and/or offer them some dates if that’s possible. You never know what could happen from here until May…I think it’s best you invite them then let the RSVPs come in and go from there

Post # 14
141 posts
Blushing bee

I would let them both know that you plan on inviting both of them, but that you expect them to be civil. If they can be civil and attend, then they will attend. If they can’t be, then they will decline. Basically, they will solve the problem for you.

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