Post # 1
Why are some couples like this? For example, at my wedding, one of my bridesmaids sat with her husband the whole time, only danced with him (and not with the rest of us who she knows very well), left when he wanted to leave, planned her whole time in town around him, et cetera. Or there was a post once where a poster said she would end a friendship if she were invited somewhere without her husband/SO.
Can someone who acts like this explain why? I really don’t get it and I’m sure a different perspective would help me understand.
Post # 3
They’re living as a unit, so why wouldn’t they leave together? A wedding isn’t exactly one of those events where I go, “But I’m having so much fun! You go home, I’ll be there later.” so I’d leave when my husband left.
I have no desire to dance with anyone but my husband, but dancing isn’t my “thing” and I really could care less. I would sit with the bridal party but as soon as I was free of my obligation I’d be with my husband — I married him after all. I don’t understand what’s confusing. Family units generally tend to stay together at social events.
Post # 4
I could NEVER be that person, BUT like you I am curious as to why some act this way. I had a friend that could not go anywhere without her SO. We would go get mani/pedi’s and he would tag along…very awkward.
Post # 5
We do most things together. It works well for us.
Post # 6
@peachacid: FI and I are the opposite of the phenomenon you’re describing but I have some friends who fall into that category. Most are also a bit shy and introverted so I think they feel most comfortable when they’re together. I also see that a lot in new couples, or when only one member of the couple has friends in the group and the other is just tagging along. I dunno, usually an open bar solves that problem though 😉
Post # 7
The last wedding we attended I danced with… one of FI’s best friends (one of our groomsmen), FI, the bride, by best friend, the MOH for that wedding, and another girl who will be my bridesmaid.
When going out, especially now that we’ve moved and know very few people, FI and I tend to go out together. Where we used to live… I would go out without him regularly.
We enjoy being together, but recognize that time apart/with same-sex friends is good for us. But, to each his own.
Post # 8
It depends on the situation. At a wedding my FI and I would mingle with other people but we’d mostly dance together and certainly leave together. However I do think so couples take it too far.
Recently had a girls night with some friends. One of the girls showed up with jer husband. He sat around awkwardly on his phone for an hour then said the needed to leave because he had a poker game.
When we asked why she brought him her reply was “I didn’t want to leave him home by himself.”
Uhm..what? Is he a puppy that’s not housebroken yet? And then she had to leave with him so she could sit at home for hours while he played poker.
Sure I want to spend 99% of my time with my man. He’s my best friend and we don’t have to do anything I just like being around him but there is a time and place when it’s okay to go solo.
Post # 9
@Hyperventilate: It confuses me that she didn’t talk to anyone but her husband the whole night, except for when she walked by and we talked for about a minute. It confuses me that when we were at my bachelorette party, she originally planned to stay with us overnight but decided to leave (at 10) to go home to him. It seems strange to me, but I am very independent.
Post # 10
@peachacid: I feel that I do things separately from my FI, but I’m sure some of my friends would say we are the annoying couple that does everything together. I prefer to go out to bars with my FI and I know that sometimes bugs my single friends. I did have a friend who brought her bf to the midnight premiere of one of the twilight movies…like wtf??
i will say when we are at a bar i still get up and dance with just my friends or wander around. We aren’t glued at the hip. I couldn’t be that stifled.
Post # 11
My husband and I do everything together because we both love doing the same things. We’re best friends, so we have very similar interests (i.e. video games, cooking, gardening, sense of humor, etc). We’re both free to do things without the other, but we just never think to. I’m sure the fact that I hate shopping, don’t wear make-up, never watch chic flicks, and generally act like a bit of a tomboy helps.
Post # 12
@peachacid: FI and I probably do 1-2 guys/girls nights a month out solo with our friends. Other than that, we want to be together. He’s my best friend, my partner, and our time together is precious, especially because of his long and stressful work hours.
Post # 13
You have to take into consideration their entire relationship- what you don’t see behind closed doors.
My fiance and I have opposite work schedules. So when we do get a day off together which is rare, we would 100% be that couple at the wedding that dances and leaves together. And like another bee said, they’re living as a unit. I don’t take our time together lightly or for granted because it comes and goes quickly so when we get the chance- we are the couple you describe.
Post # 14
I get being with your SO during a social event, but I don’t get those who cannot do things without their SO at all. Like I lost my Maid of Honor because of that. They are dirt broke and I offered to pay for her ticket here, but I couldn’t afford to fly them both here and she declined…in a very rude way telling me that she doesn’t do things without her husband and that maybe one day I would understand. When I told her that she couldn’t be my MOH anymore (because she wasn’t going to be there) she flipped out calling me a bridezilla and a spoilded brat…she said it wouldn’t be fair for her to take a vacation and leave her husband at home…I’m not paying for a vacation…I was paying for you to be apart of my wedding…but ANYWAY, yeah I don’t get it. Some ladies have NO independence.
Post # 15
@peachacid: I’m an independant woman myself, but at weddings, I’d be stuck to my husband. Nobody enjoys weddings as much as the bride and groom (and even then, they’re probably knackered) and I didn’t expect people to socialize with us at ours. I mainly talked with my maid of honor. She couldn’t run away because her husband was 3,000 miles away, but whatever.
I can only give my own perspective because I don’t know if I’d want to have a sleepover bachelorette party even with my own best and dearest friends. The idea doesn’t really appeal to me, so I’d probably opt to go home if I had the chance.
I don’t see my husband much. He deploys a lot so I spend most of my time alone. The time I do have with him is sacred. I don’t sacrifice that time for anybody for any reason. That’s not to say that we don’t have friends and we don’t enjoy going out with them, but we usually go out with them as a couple.
Post # 16
@KT_Hime: YES! I told my friend she could come visit ANY time (we used to live in the same area but now I live 100 miles away) and she said the pets couldn’t be left alone. I was like, um…I am inviting you not your boyfriend (at the time). I didn’t say that, because I have no guts. But I don’t get it. If I want to hang out with my friend, I want to hang out with my friend. Not her boyfriend/husband/whomever.