Post # 1
Ok bees I need your lovely advice. FI and I are invited to a couples “shower and celebration” for some friends of ours. FI is a groomsmen in this wedding.
So normally I like to give a gift off the registry for the shower and money to the wedding…this time is different since their wedding gift is their invites that I designed custom for them. ok cool, so I pick a registry gift out and alls well, right? Wrong. Just saw that they have a teeny tiny registry with some bedding on it (out of our price range) and then a honeyfund. I have no problems with honeyfunds at all, but I feel like its weird to give that at the “shower” cause there isn’t anything for them to open! It’s essentially just money…then do I get a card and tell them what we bought off the honey fund for the shower?
I guess I’m just confused how this works now since there really wasnt any gifts to buy. What do I do? Maybe I’m over thinking this?
Post # 3
I think the point of a shower is the shower the couple for gifts. If they are all set, they should just have a party to celebrate with their friends, not a bridal shower. I might buy them a bottle of booze and some monogrammed glasses.
Post # 4
@laurel946: Could you give them a gift card towards the same store the bedding items are from? That way they can get something else they might need and didn’t think of at the time of registering.
Post # 5
I’d do a gift certificate to a restaurant and a bottle of wine or something for a date night. If they’re into spa treatments, I’d get a gift certificate for a couples massage.
Post # 6
i’m in a similar situation. i know someone who’s getting married soon and they’re not planning on having a registry (they’d rather have money), but the bride is still planning/expecting to have a shower, so i’ve been wondering how that’s going to work…like, what’s the point of a shower if you don’t want gifts?
anyways, i would just buy a gift card to the store where they’re registered.
Post # 7
Yeah that’s bizarre to have a shower if they don’t have a registry, really. Most people are going to want to give physical gifts at a shower.
Post # 8
Ok good suggestions! Yeah I think it might be hosted by her aunt and uncle, I’ve heard through the grapevine that she’s having another shower too!
the invite literally said “shower and celebration” so I don’t know what that means as far as gifts…I would assume we should still give something!
Funny story is I was talking to the best man about it and he didn’t even realize he had to get them another gift for the shower besides the wedding gift! To his credit this is his first friend to get married haha but yeah….weird situation!
Post # 9
@laurel946: A lot of men have never been to showers before, and someone popping up with a couples’ shower is the first time they’ve been invited. I had that happen with mine. We had a couples’ shower because I felt weird excluding half my friends and all the stuff on the registry was for my husband anyway (cooking stuff, you know, man things, since my man stays in the kitchen). All the dudes at mine really liked it though, probably because showers in my family involve my uncles mixing everyone very very strong drinks.
Post # 10
Ugh. I think this is one of the reasons I dislike honeyfund – especially at showers! The point is to “shower” the bride with gifts.
I guess in your case, I’d buy something off the honeymoon registry, and supplement it with something that matches. Like, if you get them something for a beach honeymoon on the honeyfund, get them a pair of towels, flipflops, and sunscreen. That way there’s something to open, but they’re still getting what they asked for.
Post # 11
I went off-registry for one of my bridesmaids and bought her champagne flutes for toasting at the wedding. From Tiffany! There were under $75 for the pair, she hadn’t purchased any, and I cleared it with her first. They still love those flutes 5 years later and bust them out on anniversaries. They also kept and gigantic Tiffany blue box they came in… Because when else do you acquire one of those?
Post # 12
Yeah…I personally think Honeyfund or honeymoon registeries at showers are pretty inappropriate.
The point of the shower is to get physical gifts that you need to start out with.
If you have everything you could want…you shouldn’t be having a shower.
Celebration, fine. But no shower.
I’d just get a gift card or something at the store where their registry is from.
Post # 13
@distracts: yeah I totally understand haha my sister had one and it was a blast because of the food and drinking with my family! I plan to have one too, for all of those reasons!
@abbie017: good idea about supplementing with something small…I wonder what I can come up with!
Would it be awkward if we were the only people to bring a gift? What if they are just calling it a shower and request no gifts? It didn’t say anything on the invite though…gah!
Post # 14
how about a homemade gift like “movie night”? couple dvd’s, gourmet popcorn, a nice blanket, some candy?
or “date night”? movie theatre gift card, restaurant gift certificate?
Post # 15
Honestly besides asking the couple (depending on your relationship), I don’t know what to do. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to have a “shower” if they don’t need anything. Leaves me feeling awkward. The best I can think of is a gift card, but if its not visa, it may end up wasted. They may only have registered out of obligation & if they get everything off their registry, then what?