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Ooh, these are good questions! I've never been to a couple's shower before, but I know my brother attended one that was a cookout like you mentioned. Do you think you could get away with grilling since there will be a bonfire and everything, too? That seems like an easy way to feed a bunch of people!
I'll keep thinking and let you know if I come up with anything. And in the meantime, maybe some other bees will weigh in. :)
If you could grill, you can do some Carne Asada and serve it fajita style. That's an easy way to cook for a large number of people at a reasonable cost.
Do you need a theme for the party? I never really understood that I guess. I would definitely do a cook out; have a one or two other guests bring their grills to help with the 30+ people. Also make sure everyone has enough propane. You could have a mexico theme. Bright colors for lanters and torches to light up outside, multicolored plates, napkins, balloons; pretty much raid Party City and pick anything! Maybe have little marracas (sp) as party favors. You could have margaritas or another cheap, easy Mexican theme drink. You could also set up a beer pong table (AWAY from the bonfire!!) or two outside as a game for people to play.
Not sure how the party is getting paid for, but you could have the wedding party help by assigning those specific people to bring buns, hotdogs, burgers, chips, soda, plates, cups, sides.
Thanks for the tips!
Turns out her mom has offered to pay for the food, so we are just going to have a local BBQ place cater it.
We are just doing a "country" theme and turning the MOH's large garage into a "barn" feel. We have already cleared it out and hung a bunch of white christmas lights. We are workign on making a chandelier this weekend from extras.
We ended up making the invites based on this card (ours did not come out nearly as good).

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I'm a bridesmaid and I just got the date for the shower we will be hosting (at my house but with the maid of honor). We have no details and the invites need to go out next week.
We know it will be a couples shower, on a saturday evening (not sure about start time), and it will be casual with alcohol and a backyard bonfire (we don't want the bonfire to be the theme though).
She wants to invite 40 or so adults and we would need to plan on about 30-35 coming!! I dont' know that we could do dinner for this many. It will be pretty cool outside still to grill. Whats a good cost of food per person for a shower?
Also, any good casual themes for a couples shower? Or, should we just go with a "color" theme? Maybe a signature drink?
Any good suggestions, pictures or thoughts would be appreciated!