Post # 1
My hubby and I decided to go to a cute town that has a lot of B&Bs about an hour away for our 1st anniversary, Vday weekend. We invited a couple friend that has been married a few years. At first they said they’d think about it, then they sent me a decline email. In it it basically said they keep their anniversary and Vday plans to just the 2 of them to “focus on each other and <their> relationship”.
I can’t help but feel this is a diss (like we don’t work on our relationship?), even though they are both usually really nice. I would’ve actually preferred a vague rejection, since I totally understand it IS Vday, and they should do what they want!….we just thought it would be fun to go with them, since we’ve been on a couple other trips with them before, and they seemed to enjoy them. This was also the first time I heard from her after giving her a card w/ a G.C. to a maternity store, since she is pregnant with her first…so, maybe I’m starting to feel like the friendship is more unbalanced than I thought, since I’m usually the one initiating dinners out or the trips? What do you think?
Post # 3
Hmmm… I don’t know. I’ve had friends that invited us out for V-day stuff and we always decline too, because we like to just be alone on that day. Albeit, we automatically do it, instead of saying we’ll think about it. I don’t know – it sounds like they have a lot going on with a pregnancy and stuff – it may not be you, they may just be busy?
Post # 4
I wouldn’t take offense. They want to spend the holiday/anniv alone together. I don’t think their explanation was meant to be an indictment of your relationship. If you’re good enough friends, she should be able to be honest with you about why they are declining without hurting your feelings.
Post # 6
I also agree with rosy. She probably gave you the explanation BECAUSE she didn’t want you to feel rejected. Don’t worry
Post # 7
I don’t think it’s a diss. However, if you feel it’s an uneven friendship, taper off your offers and see what happens and if they don’t step up then, well, it is what it is.
Post # 8
I agree with Rosie and Gab, it sounds to me more like she probably felt bad for not spending the time with you and didn’t want to just give you a flat out “no” with no reason.
Post # 9
Yeah… dont be offended!! it sounds like a lot: pregnancy, vday
but… like they said above.. maybe dont invite them out so much since you feel one sided and see what happens
Post # 10
I wouldn’t be offended, I don’t think they said it in any mean way. They probably thought about it and realized they wanted more couple time, which is understandable it’s V-day.
Post # 11
They may have a family like mine. A “no” is not good enough so I always have to come up with a reason deemed acceptable and I find it has to be one that can’t be argued. 🙂
Post # 12
I think I understand why they want this time alone, especially because they are going to have a baby soon. I wouldn’t think of it as a diss at all. Just try to do other things with them on less important holidays.