Post # 1
I’m talking about when couples “make donations” in lew of actual favors. Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea if they actually follow through with it. I’ve attended 2 weddings in the last 2 years that claimed to have made a donation in each guests name, but no donation was ever made. I only know this because one of the weddings was FI’s brothers (FI was the best man) and the other was one of my best friends (I was a bridesmaid). Both couples made little cards that said something in regards to a donation being made in each guests name to the couples specified charity. All of the guests thought this was a great idea and commended the couples on choosing to go this route instead of spending money on physical favors. The whole thing really pisses me off that they blatenly lied to all of their guests. I would much rather have the couple forgo favors all together than fabricate a lie to make themselves look better. Seriously, neither wedding was overly huge (both under 100 guests). They couldn’t have coughed up atleast $1 per guest attending? Talk about tacky!
FI and I were joking that instead of Christmas presents for his brother and SIL, we should make the donation to the charity they claimed to have donated to for their wedding. We’ll see how bitchy I feel in the next few weeks, it could quite possibly happen!
Has anyone else come across this with donation favors? I assume most would have no way of knowing if the donation was actually made or not unless you were particularly close to the couple.
Post # 3
Wow that’s so rude! I understand not doing favors (we didn’t and no one cared) but lying about donating to a charity? What’s the point other than stroking your own ego?
Post # 4
OMG, that’s aweful, just plain wrong. I have never experienced it, but I would not think as much of the person if they did that. Kind of shows where their morals are.
Post # 5
Did they actually TELL you they didn’t donate and/or didn’t PLAN to donate? You didn’t say that in the post, you just said that both of you were in those weddings..
Post # 6
People actually do that? I think that calls for the “t” word.
Post # 7
@blondeeebuckeye: Yes, I know for a fact that no donations were made nor will they ever be made.
Post # 8
Wow! That is NOT cool. Definitely better to just skip on favors altogether and not lie about donating to a non-profit. I have to admit though… I did laugh because this post reminded me of a Seinfeld episode which they re-ran about 2 nights ago where George tells people that he donated money to the “Human Fund” on their behalf and no such organization exists.
Post # 9
FI and I were joking that instead of Christmas presents for his brother and SIL, we should make the donation
one year instead of gifts for christmas we bought charity items via worldvision – my mother got a photo of a toilet in PNG with local villages hanging around it and my siblings famlies got photos of pigs and goats somewhere in africa 🙂
Post # 10
I second blondeeebuckeye‘s question – how do you know for sure? We are going to do the donation in lieu of favors, but we are just going to give White Knot one check (instead of 100 checks for each of our guests). So even though the donation will be made “in their name” it will actually be under “Guests of Rock HUggers” rather than “Mr. and Mrs. X”
But, yeah, that is tacky if they intentionally lied about making a donation. And I think you should totally make a donation instead of giving them xmas presents! That would be karmic!
Post # 11
It’s crazy, right? Theres no specified amount that needs to be made per person. Even if they donated $0.50 per guest, it would still be something. But nope, neither party actually followed through with it. It just annoys me that all of their guests were “touched” by their gesture! Whatev!
Post # 12
wow thats cold. Brrr.
I wouldn’t think highly of someone who blantantly lied about donating to charity in lieu of favours – if you’re going to do that, why not just, oh I don’t know, NOT HAVE FAVOURS?
Novel idea, that. Instead of being lying, fradulent cheapstakes. WOW what a concept. 😉
Post # 13
I really like your Christmas present idea. I mean, maybe it would make the point and they’d go back and make those donations? Wishful thinking, I know.
And yeah. Tacky.
Post # 14
@Rock Hugger: My friend came right out and told me that she didn’t make the donation and had no intention on doing so in the future. My FMIL asked FBIL about the donation after their wedding and was told that they weren’t actually going to make the donation either. Neither party saw anything wrong with what they did. Amazing…
Post # 15
@UpstateCait: That is crazy. Like, seriously, insane. I can’t believe they did not see anything wrong with it!!!
I went to a wedding once where they did the donation thing, and afterwards the bride said “It’s a great idea because no one knows how much you actually donate.” Then she told me they donated 25$ – and they had about 200 guests. At least it’s something, but I still feel like it is misleading….
Post # 16
@ktbrady: Wow, thats almost as bad as not making it at all! $0.12 per guest! Big spenders!!