Couples who\'ve gotten married after just a few weeks?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
851 posts
Busy bee

There is not a single instance of this being a good idea.

Post # 3
Member
4894 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I did.  Not that I want to rain on anyone’s parade, but it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life.  He turned out to be an abuser.  Hence the rush to get things nailed down before his facade cracked.

I thought we were madly in love.  It was more like mutual panic.

After a hideous divorce, I met my current & permanent Dh.  Actually, I met him during my divorce.  He never pressured me.  I waited 7 yrs to agree to marry him.

From one extreme to the other.  But, I don’t see how waiting can do any damage.  Rushing in can be downright dangerous.

Post # 4
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee

weddingbliss412:  I totally understand that this could be a very bad idea, but my FIs parents married within 3-4 weeks. And 40 years later they are still going as strong as ever. So it can work out.

In saying that I do think it’s best to wait a little longer than that. 

Post # 5
Member
3136 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We were engaged after three weeks. Married after a year though. We are very happy. But we talked about EVERYTHING. And made sure we were absolutely on the same page before we signed our names. We insisted on full disclosure, no surprises and when we married, we were totally confident that we were doing the right thing. 

Post # 6
Member
4147 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My friend’s parents married after knowing each other for a month, and they’re still together after about 30 years and seem to be very much in love still!

Post # 7
Member
865 posts
Busy bee

weddingbliss412:  My best friend’s parents did.  They’ve been married 30 years now and have 4 daugthers.  However, I think it’s a terrible idea and they are absolutely the exception.  

Post # 8
Member
4639 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

The odd time this works out.. Only your gut can really tell you if this will end up blowing up in your face or not.

Post # 9
Member
2270 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Yes, I have a friend that was engaged two weeks after her first date and then married about 8 weeks after that.  She’s still happily married 25 years later.

Post # 10
Member
2428 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My jeweler and her husband got married after a couple weeks of knowing each other. It’s been about 30 years and they work together. But I think couples like them are the exception, not the rule.

Post # 11
Member
2838 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have a friend who got married ten days after meeting her husband. Ten years later, they are still happy and in love. But like PPs said, I think they’re the exception and not the rule!

Post # 12
Member
1346 posts
Bumble bee

My mom and dad did, and it was a perfect match until my dad died shortly before their 40th. They were in their early 30s though.

Post # 13
Member
328 posts
Helper bee

 

weddingbliss412:  OP, do you notice that for the most part, the bees who are saying they know of it working are speaking of couples from an older generation?  Just something to keep in mind-it was a different time.

Post # 14
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

weddingbliss412:  I know of two. One divorced within 9 months. Nothing super crazy, they just (shockingly) realized they were not entirely the people they both originally thought they were and were in fact not compatible. No abuse or overt deciet, but within 6 months or so could not bear to cohabitate any longer. Since the marriage was so short and there were no kids/assets, divorce was super quick.

The other lasted about 3 years, but from what I hear was a very, very bad situation and part of why it even lasted that long was because the divorce itself took over a year due to the fact the man immediately (and purposely) commingled all the assets and basically wiped her out financially, so it was very hard for her to keep lawyers around long enough to sort it all out. She slowly discovered all kinds of shady crap that had he just given it 6 months to a year of dating, she probably would have seen enough red flags to avoid the situation alltogether — and still have her home and savings.

I’m sure there are cases where it can work out fine, but overwhelmingly statistics (and anecdotal evidence) indicate that extremely quick courtships rarely result in successful marriages. My parents got engaged after 6 weeks, but had an engagement that lasted a bit over a year. They are not only still married but truly happy almost 40 years later. I’ll never understand why anyone would want to risk something so huge when they could just…..wait and be more sure.

Post # 15
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I know couples who have gotten engaged within a few weeks of meeting.  None have made it down the aisle.

I would caution against anything like this.  There would have to be an extremely good reason for why a couple couldn’t wait a little longer.  Otherwise, too much risk!

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