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I would say yes, you are being a tad spoiled-sounding.... but reading your post told me otherwise. :( I'm sorry you are in such a situation right now!
I am also wedding planning with a mother who wants something I do not. My parents are also paying. It pretty much kind of stinks the way it makes us feel.... BUT I understand you seem to be grateful towards your family so it's okay to feel this way. As long as they realize you are thankful to them for all they want to do.
I think it IS unreasonable of them to ask you to wait an entire year after said wedding date. That would stink majorly! It's your day, not theirs to tell you to wait a whole year so they can pull off the wedding they want for you. I think it's one thing to listen to people's opinions but another to be asked to wait so long when your wedding date is already set with your FH.
The way I see it (correct me if I am wrong)... you want a small wedding, your family is worried they can't pull off the big wedding they have dreamed of so they are asking you to wait if it doesn't work.... Unless you really WANT to go to a courthouse, I would talk to the 'rents and maybe bargain for a smaller wedding in place of the large one or if the large one doesn't work.... say a small, garden wedding with the people you really care about and a bigger reception for people they want to be there?
It's okay to feel scared that the wedding may not happen.... but there should be no reason you can't still have the wedding on that day. * e hugs and I hope I helped at least a little !*
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Hello Ladies,
I'm so frustrated right now...
My Mom and Dad have told my fiance and I that they would pay for our wedding (yes the whole thing). So we scheduled our date and FI and I started looking around for different places to have the wedding and blah blah blah...you know. Planning. Everything was going ok (as far as my parent's sticking to their end) and THEN....they are trying to get approved to buy a house and have been approved for the loan.
Here's some backgroud: My parent's already "own" one house that they are still paying a mortgage on (my grandfather loaned them the money for that house). We are renting out the house that we used to live in for $500.00/month. Now we are renting a house for $500.00/month that is closer to the church that my Dad pastors (It is really nice and has lots of room which is a MUST HAVE since there are 8 people in my family). The church my dad pastors at gives them $1000.00/month for a housing allowance.
NOW: My parents are trying to get this new house which is going to raise their house payment to $900.00/month...remember, they've already agreed to pay for the wedding. And now that they think everything is going to go through with the house they are saying they may not have enough money to pay for the kind of wedding that we are wanting. WE don't want the kind of wedding that my Mother is trying to plan. I DON"T want it to be big. I'd rather just have family and CLOSE friends...but NO...not for my mother. Which is fine if they are going to pay for it. But now they are trying to tell me to back the date up of the wedding....by a whole freaking year!!!! Which just IS NOT an option. We want to get married...and almost a year away from now is plenty long for us to have to wait already. What is the point in waiting just for a "wedding"...??? I'm not getting it. I'm not willing to wait a whole year on top of the year that we are waiting already for a big wedding that I already don't want.
So...please tell me if I'm being unreasonable here....
I told my Mom and Dad that if everything wasn't planned for our wedding date (June 16, 2012) that my FI and I would be going to the courthouse and just getting married that way. We already know we love eachother and want to get married. We are already engaged.
So what do you think? Am I just being a total butthole? Or do I have reason to be a little hurt and panicky about the whole situation???
Thanks in advance for the replies!
Ashley