courthouse vs medium wedding

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
6 posts
Newbee

 

Bio_Chemist:  

We had a small cermony. We are planning on having a bigger cermony when we can afford it, but to just be joind in matrimony was enough. Do you have to get married to stay in the country? is there a rush because of immigration issues? If he says he will pay for everything then you should hire a wedding planner in your local community, they usually will work with any budget, this way he has to come up with a figure if a contract is being presented by an insured professional. hope this helps.

Post # 5
Member
8 posts
Newbee

Hi I don’t come on here often but I can definitely understand where you’re coming from as I have just emigrated here on a fiance visa. Just wanted to point out – if you come here with the intent of getting married and staying then adjusting your status to become a legal permanent resident is illegal. If you are in the country and spontaneously decide to get married then you can file your adjustment papers, but if not then you must go home and apply for a marriage visa. If you’re here on another visa (i.e. work or student) then you can file your adjustment papers and not leave. 

If you file your AOS papers the fee is $1070 and you won’t be able to work for 3 months. That doesn’t sound too hard but I’m currently sat at home not being able to contribute financially. My husband earns a decent salary but its still a stretch at times to live without a second income, so you may want to factor that into his decisions about a fancy wedding.

You could file the fiance visa papers now and within 6-8 months return to the US (and having worked in your home country could save money for the wedding and your period of unemployment). You then have a bit more time to plan. However you still have to adjust your status and can’t work for around 3 months after the papers are submitted.

If its important to marry now, then you could do a courthouse ceremony, return home, file marriage visa papers and when its approved you have the right to work immediately. So again you can bring money to the budget from working at home, and then be able to work immediately in the US. Then have a vow renewal/church blessing and reception etc for all your friends and family.

I realise I haven’t commented much on the wedding aspect but it is important that you get your immigration knowledge sorted. If you come to the US next May intending to marry and stay then that is fraud and you could face deportation and a ban. If you come with the fiance visa and marry, or come back with the marriage visa and do a vow renewal then that is fine. If you’re here already as a student or working then disregard all of that and just file your adjustment papers. You can save money on the immigration side of things by NOT hiring a lawyer (its quite straightforward doing it yourself) and get help from visajourney.com.

Weddings have to be a compromise. I’m quite ok not having a fancy event and lots of people there. With my visa it only gives 90 days to get married after you enter the country with it so we went to the courhouse. All our family came with us and it was lovely. Because my husband wants the big white wedding we are planning something for next year so that extended family and friends can be there to celebrate.

I apologise if you already know all the immigration stuff but I’m just offering advice. The last thing you want is to be stressing about having an interview go wrong alongside planning a wedding. Good luck with everything!

 

 

 

Post # 7
Member
8 posts
Newbee

Oh so thats good he can live with you whilst the visa application goes through. Your 6 month visitor visa is for visiting, not for adjusting status. Just letting you know. 

I understand how hard it is t

Post # 9
Member
12 posts
Newbee

Hi, can you do a bit of research and give him a break down of costs involved with a few different options?  That’s something I’ve done.  It may help him in deciding he wants something low key, and less expensive?  Does he realise how much everything costs, or just going off what he wants/thinks is socially acceptable?

Having anxiety doesnt help help either, it’s an awful thing to live with xoxox.  

Is there a way you can come up with something that suits you better, but keeps him happy too? 

I’m in a similar situation, I’d be happy to go to the registry office (thats what it is here in Australia) but his Mum has basically said she’s afraid we will regret not having something nice to look back on and convinced us to have a simple garden ceremony somewhere.  Is something like that an option for you?

Post # 10
Member
8 posts
Newbee

Sorry my post cut off and I didn’t realize it posted.  For the 3 years we were long distance it was really tough and especially so for me. At some points it was difficult to look to the future because it seemed so far off and I was jealous of other couples because they could do normal things like go to the movies. As heartbreaking as all the goodbyes were, now we are together forever and it was all worth it. If you ever need to vent to someone about how its difficult then feel free to private message me. I know your anxiety must make this 10x harder but know that it will be so amazing when you can finally start your lives together in the same place. 

Post # 13
Member
8 posts
Newbee

I’m from England. I lived in the states for a year on an internship which is where I met my husband. I definitely prefer it over here than being in England but knowing you’re here full time and not going home any time soon is quite hard. So I do feel at home here but I’m still homesick and adjusting to being here. 

Post # 14
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

For venues, look into nearby collegs and summer camps.  Dont turn up your nose at camps, many have a dining hall with a stage and wood floors and indoor bathrooms.  Very rustic, plenty of parking.  Do it immediately before or after they open, you can negotiate.  Tell caterer is a “campers reunion” party.  

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